OP, please read this:http://www.apa.org/topics/trauma/memories.aspx
People can "create" memories and believe in them for the rest of their lives. Please don't rush to remember.

No postpartum depression whatsoever. I really haven't given it much thought, but occasionally it flits into my head and I start wondering.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am concerned that because your OB "assumed I'd had a LEEP or biopsy" that you now feel, since you did not ever have those procedures, that the scarring must indeed be from abuse. If that's where you're going in your mind -- please get the opinion of another gynecologist.

Did you directly ask the OB about the sexual abuse comment the midwife made, or did you just say, "What's this scarring all about?" ? I know my ob/gyn well enough that I'd have told her exactly what the midwife said, and asked the gyn.'s opinion. Did you tell the OB what was said to you, and did you set the OB straight and say, "No, I have not had any such procedures that could have scarred me, so now I am worried that I might have been abused, based on this midwife's comment"? If you didn't come out and tell the OB about the abuse comment, and just waited to see whether the OB mentioned it unsolicited -- I really would ask the OB or your ob/gyn about it much more directly, and explain why you are so concerned.

I did not directly ask. I said the CNM had made a comment about the scarring, and the OB repeated the cervical procedure comment and moved onto something else. I did not even have a chance to say, "Hey, look at my records, I haven't had anything like that." It was a quick appointment.

I'll get a second opinion, but like I said - the scarring is now minimized from childbirth.

When you get that second opinion, please be frank about what you were told and the concern it has caused you. I suspect that you were not very assertive with the OB in that quick appointment because you are so afraid of exams and possibly afraid of what you'd hear. OP, please don't let any doctor overwhelm you with his or her rushing around or moving on fast to other things. Say, "Hey, stop a minute. I have a serious concern here and need you to talk to me." Make the doctor face you and listen.

OP, how long since your baby was born? Is there any chance that you might be experiencing some post-partum depression that could be making you focus too strongly on this very negative and offhand comment more than it warrants? If you are expending a lot of your thoughts on this, that may indicate you need to be screened for PPD more than for abuse. I hope you can be open to the possibility. If you have real difficulty letting these thoughts go, or taking charge to find out what's for real, then you might consider whether depression is at work here. Something to consider.