If her husband calls her a "whore," I'm sure there are other obvious signs to the wife that he's an asshole. Stay out of it.

Also, I think men talking about women like they're objects is both normal and common. They just don't usually act like that around us.

Anonymous wrote:Can your DH approach his DH and try and knock some sense into him?

Not her DH's job to try to stop it. And as PP said, it would be a bad idea and the other guys would know. And it will put him squarely into the "pussy" box among his friends.

OP needs to just keep her mouth shut.

Can your DH approach his DH and try and knock some sense into him?

Interesting. Two points and I am a woman

1. You should not tell your friend if, in doing so, you would violate your DH's confidence. If you tell her, the ass will find out pretty quickly who the leak is and that will hurt DH's standing with the guys. Net result is that your DH will stop sharing things with you. Regardless of what guy code the ass expects, your DH should be able to count on you keeping your mouth shut about things he tells you.

2. Please do not follow pp's advice and instruct your DH how to respond to the ass. His cirlce of friends will know pretty quickly that a female has put him up to it.

Anonymous wrote:Crude and oversharing - yes. But nothing offensive there. Just a guy boasting to others how awesome his wife is and how their physical relationship is strong. The real issue is that your husband should not be sharing this information with his wife (OP) because it is not meant to be shared. If your husband does not want to hear about the friends' sex life, he should change the conversation or leave the scene.

I think there's a difference between telling your friends you and your wife usually have sex 4 times a week or that you all went out last night and had hot sex, and calling your wife trashy, talking about plowing her, getting graphic with what you're doing, etc. Why would a man want other men to know all that about his wife?

Hmm, my DH would tell me something like this only if it was particularly over the top and excessive. And obviously because I'm not going to say anything to anyone about it. And it's not done in a tattle-tale kind of way. More in a "WTF, look at this shit John just texted me" sort of way.

But really, do most men demean their wife like that? It's one thing to be 25 and talking about the chick you brought home from the bar. Or even 1 good buddy. But, talking about your wife like that, to multiple men, in a group text...

Crude and oversharing - yes. But nothing offensive there. Just a guy boasting to others how awesome his wife is and how their physical relationship is strong. The real issue is that your husband should not be sharing this information with his wife (OP) because it is not meant to be shared. If your husband does not want to hear about the friends' sex life, he should change the conversation or leave the scene.

Anonymous wrote:

OK, you need to troll around somewhere else, mister.

I'm not trolling. I am being serious.

Women probably don't understand what/why men talk about when together. Just like we don't understand or care about what you talk about.

If my DW told me that "Judy said this or that about Doug" while the girls were all together, I'd question her friendship.

The only time I'd speak about what the guys talk about is if I felt DW was in harm's way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Yes, I am a woman, and your example is completely wrong.

I have witnessed male friends act this way, to shut up other men who were getting vulgar and over-sharing intimate details.

You saw what happens when women are around. We are talking about what happens when guys are with guys having guy talk.

What kind of world are you living in where you imagine ALL men are disrespectful of women, and stick together to enable trash talk like this?

Not all men. Just the straight ones with GFs and Wives

Same for my gossiping women circle - when we get together we don't describe our spouses like this.

Bullshit. I'm sure some of what they say about their spouses is not something their spouses would find respectful. Get over it.

Criticism is fine and is done all the time by everybody, but show some restraint!

So is it fine...or not?

OK, you need to troll around somewhere else, mister.

I'm sure that she is already well aware that she is married to an ass.

Anonymous wrote:


Yes, I am a woman, and your example is completely wrong.

I have witnessed male friends act this way, to shut up other men who were getting vulgar and over-sharing intimate details.

You saw what happens when women are around. We are talking about what happens when guys are with guys having guy talk.

What kind of world are you living in where you imagine ALL men are disrespectful of women, and stick together to enable trash talk like this?

Not all men. Just the straight ones with GFs and Wives

Same for my gossiping women circle - when we get together we don't describe our spouses like this.

Bullshit. I'm sure some of what they say about their spouses is not something their spouses would find respectful. Get over it.

Criticism is fine and is done all the time by everybody, but show some restraint!

So is it fine...or not?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your DH and the rest of the group should put a stop to that immaturity.
"Not cool, man, to talk about your wife like that - you chose her and it doesn't make you look good either."

Have the men speak up for a change.

SAID NO MAN EVER! Lol, come on now. Maybe he gets off on telling his buddies he has sex with his wife. Hmm.... Homoerotic....

I guess we don't move in the same social circle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your DH and the rest of the group should put a stop to that immaturity.
"Not cool, man, to talk about your wife like that - you chose her and it doesn't make you look good either."

Have the men speak up for a change.

LOL

You are obviously a woman.

That is like a man saying "Your DW and the rest of the group should not gossip anymore..."

And we know THAT is not going to happen.

Yes, I am a woman, and your example is completely wrong.

I have witnessed male friends act this way, to shut up other men who were getting vulgar and over-sharing intimate details. What kind of world are you living in where you imagine ALL men are disrespectful of women, and stick together to enable trash talk like this?
Same for my gossiping women circle - when we get together we don't describe our spouses like this.

Criticism is fine and is done all the time by everybody, but show some restraint!

Anonymous wrote:
Your DH and the rest of the group should put a stop to that immaturity.
"Not cool, man, to talk about your wife like that - you chose her and it doesn't make you look good either."

Have the men speak up for a change.

SAID NO MAN EVER! Lol, come on now. Maybe he gets off on telling his buddies he has sex with his wife. Hmm.... Homoerotic....

Anonymous wrote:
Your DH and the rest of the group should put a stop to that immaturity.
"Not cool, man, to talk about your wife like that - you chose her and it doesn't make you look good either."

Have the men speak up for a change.

LOL

You are obviously a woman.

That is like a man saying "Your DW and the rest of the group should not gossip anymore..."

And we know THAT is not going to happen.