Anonymous wrote:I'd say something like "did you happen to see my In Style magazine? I've got a subscription, but haven't seen my last two copies"

no, no and no. this is really wrong, the passive aggressive, I-giving-you-a-hint-I-hope-you-are-getting-it approach. OP, your MIL is not visiting for a weekend, she moved in with you, you are both adults, you need to set very clear boundaries and expectations, obviously in a nice manner. as other posters suggested, you simply tell her with a smile, but firmly, I noticed you picked up our mail sometimes. please don't pick up our mail, it is something I do. thanks" and then change subject. or if you don't care that she takes it but are just afraid she may throw something away, just put a basket by the door in your apt and tell her to always put all the mail in there when she pick it up because you need to go through whatever comes in and do not throw away anything.

and this applies to everything else. if something does not work, tell her directly, clearly and nicely, and possibly right away. don't let her do something you hate for a year and then you blow up, you don't say anything she may think you are ok with it or even appreciate it. just speak up

Isn't it a federal offense to tamper with other people's mail...?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I came home from dropped DS off at preschool one day to find my visiting MIL folding my underwear. She had gone I to our closet and done out laundry, which was nice I guess, but she was literally holding up a pair of my flowery, frilly underwear and said how cute they were.

Sooooo... what did you do?

I turned beet red, thanked her for doing laundry but told her I was happy to finish folding and took the laundry basket from her. Then I texted my husband freaking out. He later told her thanks but no thanks on the laundry. I might take her up on it when we have a newborn though!

My MIL folds and organizes DH underwear pretty much every time she visits. I know he's her son, but still find it weird.

I hate when my FIL gets the mail. I love looking in the mailbox and hoping to see a magazine, or a card, or a check!

Anonymous wrote:Why does she have the code and key? Can you change the code?

OP should at least have the conversation (or DH should) before changing the code.

Why does she have the code and key? Can you change the code?

Anonymous wrote:What is it with old people and the mail? My FIL would ask half a dozen times every day, "Did the mail come yet?" and he literally JUMPED out of his seat if he saw the mailman coming down the street.

If you can't get her to stop checking the box, at least provide a basket and tell her ALL the mail goes there. EVERY PIECE. That may be a compromise she can manage.

Used to be, interesting and useful stuff came in the mail. Like actual letters. I've only recently stopped getting excited about the mail, and it's been years since it was anything but junk.

-Old person

Anonymous wrote:Ask her to please not throw away any mail, even if it's clearly junk, because you would like to look at it all first. If she keeps doing it, take the key away from her. It can live on your key chain.

Yes. This. Most likely she's bored or trying to be helpful.

OP, it's really not such a big deal. Please relax and don't die from death from a thousand cuts.

What is it with old people and the mail? My FIL would ask half a dozen times every day, "Did the mail come yet?" and he literally JUMPED out of his seat if he saw the mailman coming down the street.

If you can't get her to stop checking the box, at least provide a basket and tell her ALL the mail goes there. EVERY PIECE. That may be a compromise she can manage.

Anonymous wrote:Have your DH tell his mother that she needs to leave the mailbox alone.

This, this, this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I came home from dropped DS off at preschool one day to find my visiting MIL folding my underwear. She had gone I to our closet and done out laundry, which was nice I guess, but she was literally holding up a pair of my flowery, frilly underwear and said how cute they were.

Sooooo... what did you do?

I turned beet red, thanked her for doing laundry but told her I was happy to finish folding and took the laundry basket from her. Then I texted my husband freaking out. He later told her thanks but no thanks on the laundry. I might take her up on it when we have a newborn though!

Anonymous wrote:
I came home from dropped DS off at preschool one day to find my visiting MIL folding my underwear. She had gone I to our closet and done out laundry, which was nice I guess, but she was literally holding up a pair of my flowery, frilly underwear and said how cute they were.

Sooooo... what did you do?

Tell her to please stop checking your mail. She has no reason to check it at all and something that looks like trash to her could be important. This would drive me absolutely insane and I agree that it feel like a violation of privacy, especially because none of her mail goes to your mailbox. Hopefully asking once is all it will take, but of not, keep telling her every single day that you would prefer she not access your mailbox at all.

I came home from dropped DS off at preschool one day to find my visiting MIL folding my underwear. She had gone I to our closet and done out laundry, which was nice I guess, but she was literally holding up a pair of my flowery, frilly underwear and said how cute they were.

If she's going to live with you, I think you need to draw clear and instant lines. Just say, "Please don't get our mail."

I'd say something like "did you happen to see my In Style magazine? I've got a subscription, but haven't seen my last two copies"