Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i am a 27 year old female dating a 26 year old guy for over a year now. although i love him dearly and he has been a wonderful, kind and generous boyfriend, i find myself increasingly disheartened by his lack of career focus and direction. its not that he is a slacker, per se, he was a brilliant student and has completed 2 fancy degrees. he just doesn't seem to try harder to get a job and build a well paying career. we are talking about the future now and i'm worried that his lack of direction and drive professionally will negatively affect our goals (getting married, affording children etc). furthermore, i really want to be able to stay home with my children for a few years and i need him to be on the path to a well paying career so we can afford to do that.

any ideas on how to deal with this? am i being too superficial?

Why do you demand career ambition from him when you, yourself, plan to be just a mommy?

I don't plan to be "just" a mommy. This in itself is severely insulting to mothers anywhere. Motherhood takes a lot of work!

I do want to not be nursing a new born and trying to meet deadlines at work. Ideally, I'd like to take 3-4 years off to focus on kids and go back to work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing wrong with planning to be a SAHM (as long as you're doing it because you want to be a homemaker, not because of more selfish reasons!), however it is important to communicate these plans to your boyfriend and if you think he's not ready for them, dump him and move on.

Also I'm 99.999% sure you're a troll but I'm humoring you anyway.

OP here.

Well, yes. Early in our courtship we talked about how we have similar goals; having a family. He is the one who always talks about how he wants to provide for his wife and make enough money so his wife has the option to stay home with the children if she likes. It's a wonderful thought but without the professional drive to back it up, it isn't gonna get us the life we want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i am a 27 year old female dating a 26 year old guy for over a year now. although i love him dearly and he has been a wonderful, kind and generous boyfriend, i find myself increasingly disheartened by his lack of career focus and direction. its not that he is a slacker, per se, he was a brilliant student and has completed 2 fancy degrees. he just doesn't seem to try harder to get a job and build a well paying career. we are talking about the future now and i'm worried that his lack of direction and drive professionally will negatively affect our goals (getting married, affording children etc). furthermore, i really want to be able to stay home with my children for a few years and i need him to be on the path to a well paying career so we can afford to do that.

any ideas on how to deal with this? am i being too superficial?

Why do you demand career ambition from him when you, yourself, plan to be just a mommy?

I don't plan to be "just" a mommy. This in itself is severely insulting to mothers anywhere. Motherhood takes a lot of work!

I do want to not be nursing a new born and trying to meet deadlines at work. Ideally, I'd like to take 3-4 years off to focus on kids and go back to work.

bahahahahahaha

Anonymous



There's nothing wrong with planning to be a SAHM (as long as you're doing it because you want to be a homemaker, not because of more selfish reasons!), however it is important to communicate these plans to your boyfriend and if you think he's not ready for them, dump him and move on.

Also I'm 99.999% sure you're a troll but I'm humoring you anyway.

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing wrong with planning to be a SAHM (as long as you're doing it because you want to be a homemaker, not because of more selfish reasons!), however it is important to communicate these plans to your boyfriend and if you think he's not ready for them, dump him and move on.

Also I'm 99.999% sure you're a troll but I'm humoring you anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i am a 27 year old female dating a 26 year old guy for over a year now. although i love him dearly and he has been a wonderful, kind and generous boyfriend, i find myself increasingly disheartened by his lack of career focus and direction. its not that he is a slacker, per se, he was a brilliant student and has completed 2 fancy degrees. he just doesn't seem to try harder to get a job and build a well paying career. we are talking about the future now and i'm worried that his lack of direction and drive professionally will negatively affect our goals (getting married, affording children etc). furthermore, i really want to be able to stay home with my children for a few years and i need him to be on the path to a well paying career so we can afford to do that.

any ideas on how to deal with this? am i being too superficial?

Why do you demand career ambition from him when you, yourself, plan to be just a mommy?

I don't plan to be "just" a mommy. This in itself is severely insulting to mothers anywhere. Motherhood takes a lot of work!

I do want to not be nursing a new born and trying to meet deadlines at work. Ideally, I'd like to take 3-4 years off to focus on kids and go back to work.

Then figure out how to save money so you can work half-time or buy a great house in the city with a rental unit that can supplement your income while you work part-time. This is what we were able to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i am a 27 year old female dating a 26 year old guy for over a year now. although i love him dearly and he has been a wonderful, kind and generous boyfriend, i find myself increasingly disheartened by his lack of career focus and direction. its not that he is a slacker, per se, he was a brilliant student and has completed 2 fancy degrees. he just doesn't seem to try harder to get a job and build a well paying career. we are talking about the future now and i'm worried that his lack of direction and drive professionally will negatively affect our goals (getting married, affording children etc). furthermore, i really want to be able to stay home with my children for a few years and i need him to be on the path to a well paying career so we can afford to do that.

any ideas on how to deal with this? am i being too superficial?

Why do you demand career ambition from him when you, yourself, plan to be just a mommy?

I don't plan to be "just" a mommy. This in itself is severely insulting to mothers anywhere. Motherhood takes a lot of work!

I do want to not be nursing a new born and trying to meet deadlines at work. Ideally, I'd like to take 3-4 years off to focus on kids and go back to work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i am a 27 year old female dating a 26 year old guy for over a year now. although i love him dearly and he has been a wonderful, kind and generous boyfriend, i find myself increasingly disheartened by his lack of career focus and direction. its not that he is a slacker, per se, he was a brilliant student and has completed 2 fancy degrees. he just doesn't seem to try harder to get a job and build a well paying career. we are talking about the future now and i'm worried that his lack of direction and drive professionally will negatively affect our goals (getting married, affording children etc). furthermore, i really want to be able to stay home with my children for a few years and i need him to be on the path to a well paying career so we can afford to do that.

any ideas on how to deal with this? am i being too superficial?

Why do you demand career ambition from him when you, yourself, plan to be just a mommy?

I don't plan to be "just" a mommy. This in itself is severely insulting to mothers anywhere. Motherhood takes a lot of work!

I do want to not be nursing a new born and trying to meet deadlines at work. Ideally, I'd like to take 3-4 years off to focus on kids and go back to work.