I don't see anything wrong with how the teacher handled it and in fact I think diving immediately into a really in depth response would have risked your DC feeling even more on the spot since another kid used her as the example. A Teacher cannot control for that possibility. The teacher sought to convey not just that it was wrong but that it was a crazy sort of thing to do - which i think is an equally important message for 7 year olds.

PP at 12:28 and 12:29: hush, please. The adults are talking.

What if they said obama what that be racist

Looks like we running out of things to be racist

Compassion fatigue? Seriously? I am not looking for your opinion, then. You don't need to participate in this discussion as it is trivial to you and will contribute to your fatigue.

DC was upset--that is real. I am looking for insight on how to address it without having to move. BTW, she is very clear about her heritage and we have discussed race relations, slavery, etc. I have always phrased certain types of treatment as happening in the past. Obviously one comment from a child does not lend to an overall feeling of being different. It builds up over a series of experiences she has had which include seemingly innocuous comments about black people, dark skinned people, black people's physical makeup, etc. I am sorry I summarized this series of experiences into the Elsa comment--I assumed people could read between the lines. Interestingly, those who have been through it could understand this summary statement. When you have to field questions from your child about skin color, race, etc. on a regular basis, it is quite....fatiguing. If it was only just fatiguing, I would be fine. I worry more for her mental health and also for the kids in her class that are growing up with built in biases--that may have a real impact on how they behave as adults. Maybe they will do something "really" racist to catch the attention of the fatigued PP.

The incident in question took place in the class and I felt that the teacher should have reinforced how wrong the treatment was, that MLK moved America forward by showing how bad this treatment is and that the idea that skin color would determine what kind of person you are, where you go to school, etc. is wrong. Show positive examples of different types of people through literature/media. I feel that if you are going into a topic such as this, you should be better prepared to ensure a child does not feel singled out. Glossing over a comment does not help. I appreciate the answers from the teacher who said it is good not focus on it at the moment. However, I would want her to circle back to it.

I'm a little confused about exactly what played out in the classroom.
The teacher asked for an example of racism and another child described something that did actually happen just a few decades ago, and that is, in fact, an example of racism. That other child used the only example she had at the moment - your child - to describe the example.
The teacher pointed out that the line of thinking that would have your child at a different school a few decades ago (when MLK was alive, which is presumably the context of the class discussion), was cuckoo. I can't say I disagree with the teacher. Segregation was cuckoo.
I'm assuming since this was in the context of MLK day discussions, that the teacher continued with whatever her discussion of racism was that day. Or did she say. "Right. good example. That's cuckoo. Now please open your spelling books to page 6."

What part of how the teacher handled it was wrong or offensive to you?
Should she just not have discussed MLK day and racism? (I have multiple friends who wish schools wouldn't discuss it, as they would rather handle it at home.)
Should she have chastised the other student for using your daughter as an example? (It sounds like the reality is that your child is the only non-white child in the class. I suspect this won't be the last time your child will be used as an example in a teaching lesson, ad for the school, website display, or whatever. If that makes you uncomfortable (totally understandably!) then perhaps you need to consider a different and more diverse school.)
Should she have delved into a deeper discussion about why and how segregation was cuckoo? (It sounds like this was already part of a wider discussion about race.)
Shoudl she have used a stronger word that cuckoo? (They are seven year olds... youhave to watch your language.)

Kids sometimes take classes where you don't want to go. Teacher handled it the best way she knew how. I had a first grader give "tampon" an example of something that starts with "t". Others asked what it was and before I could stop her she stood up and demonstrated. Seriously.

I wrote this thread. http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/75/413330.page#6130735

And this is one of the issues I really struggle with. These "top" schools oftentimes don't serve the very few minority students well. I don't know the answer OP, but I am hurting for your daughter.

It is a tough topic to address, and how much detail would parents want a teacher to go into with a group of 7 and 8 year olds?

I agree that some teachers do a poor job of trying to explain racism particular institutional racism and that often times kids can blindside them with questions that they haven't prepared for.

I've seen some good resources at supplementing at home

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2013/01/resources-for-talking-to-kids-about.html?m=1

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2014/01/book-and-video-ideas-for-celebrating.html?m=1


As for the Elsa thing I think you need to work with your kid on how she can advocate for herself among her friends.

Anonymous wrote:This is a really difficult position for a teacher to be in. Another student used your child as an example, if the teacher made a greater teaching point, she would essentially be singling out your child as different, which is exactly why you brought Frozen. I agree that it's better to downplay things for that moment.

The teacher may come back to this or have other MLK lessons planned. Honestly, everyone in the country has trouble talking about race, teachers struggle with it, too.

+1. Did you want the teacher to point out that your child could have been a target of police dogs and cross burnings back in the day?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, and is your daughter told that she can't be Elsa because her skin, hair, and eye color are not the same as Elsa? Anyways, I realize some people can't fathom the comments people make, particularly in all white communities.

Lots of girls require Elsa be base on "proper" hair color. You think that's racist?

Unless you've grown up literally *never* being allowed to be whatever the current most popular character is since s/he *never* looks like you, you apparently can't understand why, yes, there is subtle discrimination in not allowing the non-white girl (or non-blond girl) to be Elsa. My guess is that whomever gets to be Elsa still deviates from how she looks in the movie...but kids just focus on skin and hair color since they internalize the message that these things are more important. Unless parents intervene and teach their kids that it's not about Elsa's appearance, it's about her personality and capabilities, non-white girls will be relegated to a childhood of always being a sidekick.

Growing up, I never got to be the Farrah Fawcett Charlie's Angel, because my friend was blond and I wasn't. I was the Jacklyn Smith character. And yet I achieved the DCUM measure of success, I went to an Ivy League school. I think you're putting waaay too much on Elsa play.

I love that you played Charlie's Angels on the playground too! I always had to be Kate (that's the worst!). 3rd grade. I didn't even watch any of the show at that time b/c it was too scary and too late. I would sometimes see the beginning so I knew a little about it. Nobody wanted to be Kate.

This is a really difficult position for a teacher to be in. Another student used your child as an example, if the teacher made a greater teaching point, she would essentially be singling out your child as different, which is exactly why you brought Frozen. I agree that it's better to downplay things for that moment.

The teacher may come back to this or have other MLK lessons planned. Honestly, everyone in the country has trouble talking about race, teachers struggle with it, too.

Anonymous wrote:
Are you suggesting Frozen, which was set in the Nordics, is racist? Or Disney was racist for making it?

"the Nordics"?

I'm not the OP, but I'm always impressed by the argument that everybody in Frozen has to be white, because the story is set in Scandinavia! Two of the main characters in Frozen are a talking snowman and a talking reindeer. If you're a stickler for verisimilitude, you might start with them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trying to figure out how to handle this. In DC's second grade class in a very white school and white class with a white teacher (white community), a child giving an example of racism, looked around the room gave an example that DC would not go to the same school as he and his classmates--this is fine, just normal observation from a child. How did the teacher handle this? By responding, "so cuckoo, right?" DC came home and asked if she would be considered white or black (we are neither). I explained some history and said that it wouldn't matter what color she was, that what was done back done was wrong. I am just concerned that a teacher was not able to handle this question properly. DC is upset that this would happen to her (welcome to the world!) I am upset that the teacher was not able to create a safe space for DC and also chose to educate in a simplified way. Also, I still don't know what the other kid or the class understood. I am tired of DC coming home saying she can't be Elsa when she plays with friends, etc. Guess we should just move.

Bringing up an entire topic on race with 7 year olds is not an easy task. It requires preparation. I wouldn't expect a teacher to address it on the spot. Instead, I'd hope that s/he would honor it, table it and then address it the next day, for example.

Furthermore, you're clearly a minority if you're not calling yourself white. So YOU should have brought up the issue with your child, as home is a safe place. Instead, you glossed over it as well. While historically, we've made some damaging mistakes, these mistakes still haunt us today, and that's apparent in the other child's response. But you ignored it.

Furthermore, her issue with "Elsa" is yet ANOTHER example that needs to be addressed.

Remember that teaching starts at home.

And if this continues and the teacher avoids the topic in the future, then you can step in for your child.

Also imposing all of the tensions of racial relations in the US on to your DC who was used as an example in the class would have been entirely inappropriate. I am a teacher and I would not have felt comfortable getting into right then and there because it would have put your DC on the spot. She kept it lighthearted and moved away from that specific focus. I get the concept of teachable moments, but you have to be really careful about how you get kids to focus on the single person of color in a classroom. I'm not saying her decision was "right," but I do think that it could have come from a legitimate place.

The Elsa stuff is not the teacher's fault.