Lots of good advice here. You may also want to look at advice on washing baby cloth diapers for more ideas on laundry. You'll find that different people have success with different things depending on the type of fabric, type of washer, type of detergent, and hardness of water.

Generally, cotton fabrics hold smell a lot less than synthetics, but you still need to get the right wash routine to make sure that you get the clothes really clean. If you have detergent buildup in the clothes, when she rewears them, any additional urine will immediately make them very stinky.

Here is what works for me:
All cotton
Front loader
Not sure about the hardness of water, but I am in moco, so that.
I put all the diapers in on a quick wash cycle with NO spin and a TBS of Country Save Detergent. This means they are fully soaked when the cycle is done.
Then, I run a second cycle on heavy duty with 2TBS of detergent and an extra rinse.
About once a month, I add a bit of bleach as well to clear out any lingering residue/bacteria.

For the bed, be sure to have a plastic layer mattress pad so nothing wets the actual mattress. To possibly reduce having to change the entire bedding, get some infant/toddler waterproof bed pads. Also be sure to have such a waterproof pad on any chair your relative may use.

I would also try and keep a record of how much liquid she intakes to share with her doctor and the foods suggested are very good.

For your relationship with your elderly relative, I would second getting a home health aide in to do the personal care two times a week, including the hair washing. It will give you a break with all you are doing and also take a way a more contentious time. If the money can be found do it!!

If your relative can go out at all, would she enjoy going to a hair dresser at some point to get her hair done and cut, too? A smaller, setting might be nice when weather turns ice.

Aside from the laundry issue, has she been tested for a urinary tract infection? My grandmother gets them frequently, and an infection may be contributing to the strong smell.

Get wet wipes and use for each peri care. Makes sure to get in all the books and crannies---icky but very necessary. If male, make sure to retract the foreskin and clean.

Baby shampoo is good for door removal. So is a squirt bottle like you used when you had just had a baby.

Second the shower cap hair wash, with a caution that the recommended time to microwave often leaves them too hot.

If they've been dirty for a while, it will take a few days of energetic washing to remove the funk.

Clothes: all cotton. Change the depends every 2hiurs minimum. Those things leak.

For the depends and smelly clothes, attach a charcoal filter to the lid of the pail/hamper. I use Diaper Genie with a charcoal filter and don't smell a thing. But the opening for the DG might be too small for adult diapers.

BTDT from my elderly dad:

- get rid of the carpet ASAP if you can.
- make sure all clothing is 100% cotton
- prewash in white vinegar
- raise water intake, see below
- offer lots of jello, applesauce, and Italian Ices to supplement water intake
- flavor the water - lemon, strawberry, other syrup
- see a urologist if the pee is dark or really stinky after that
- hire a home health aide 2x weekly for baths. You both will appreciate someone else washing privates

Good luck, OP. You are doing a fine thing.

Anonymous wrote:Hospice nurse here----a rinse free shower cap is the answer to your prayers when trying to wash someone's hair who isn't capable of taking a shower. Warm it up in the microwave and it feels like a spa treatment.

http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/no-rinse-shampoo-cap/ID=prod3946583-product?ext=gooPersonal_Care_PLA_No_Rinse_Cleansers_prod3946583_pla&adtype=pla&kpid=sku3945432&sst=2662eb76-bcb8-3a09-5bf9-000015d4459e&kpid=sku3945432

Thank you thank you THANK YOU sooo much for this!!!

And thanks everyone else for the tips. I will try.

The product icky poo or the detergent you buy at sports stores to get rid of the stink from sweat. Available on amazon too.

Simple Sooution or Nature's Miracle from a pet store. Add it to the laundry. Enzymes break down the organic material and the smell.