No judgment here..some families are ridiculously crazy and I obviously don't know a thing about you or DHs family. But I'll share this..

My husbands grandparents cut his father (their son) off in 1970 for what sounds like cultural issues (old school Polish grandfather pissed that oldest son got married quickly and didnt financially support his parents). Anyways, my in laws were cut off from entire family before my husband was born so husband not particularly upset over loss. But its strange as the DIL to this family. Family functions are few and far between, husband doesnt know his cousins aunts or uncles from his fathers side and our childrens extended family relationships are few. To me, it all feels like such a waste and a bit isolating. Our kids know nothing about that side of their family. My point is that cut offs affect younger generations and the way they experience family...

Good luck OP.

My dh cut off his family many years ago. It gave me a chuckle to read a pp write that her friends cause drama in their dh's families. It such a painful process that I don't know anyone that fits that description. In our case, dh's family can't exist without drama. They would look for any opportunity to start a fight. I'm so glad to never see them.

This is so wrong on so many levels. I hope you find your peace everntually, OP.

Anonymous wrote:My DH just cut off his family, too. He was a little sad over Christmas. one thing I noticed over these last few months...he's a more positive person! His family is SO negative about all things. Name it and they put a miserable spin on it.

IDK if it's forever him, it is for me. What they did to him is unforgivable. Only time will tell.

To the all-knowing PPs, you have no idea how toxic and upsetting a dysfunctional family can be.

I wish your Dh luck. My family is the same. Very negative. I didn't even realize how much until I pulled far back from them. Now it's so obvious what a cloud hangs over them all the time. It's now even more draining to deal with them on a limited basis because I'm not sucked in like I was.

My DH just cut off his family, too. He was a little sad over Christmas. one thing I noticed over these last few months...he's a more positive person! His family is SO negative about all things. Name it and they put a miserable spin on it.

IDK if it's forever him, it is for me. What they did to him is unforgivable. Only time will tell.

To the all-knowing PPs, you have no idea how toxic and upsetting a dysfunctional family can be.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know I see a lot of even my friends who create drama in their husband's family. They try to isolate the husband from the family and when the family gets upset they act injured and finally the husband can't take the stress and separates from his family. It is really sad. Hope this isn't you OP.

OP here. My husband and I decided he would be primary communicator. He discovered through that change how toxic they are and cut them off. I know this is not permanent. For now, it is blissful not having to deal with their drama and demands.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know I see a lot of even my friends who create drama in their husband's family. They try to isolate the husband from the family and when the family gets upset they act injured and finally the husband can't take the stress and separates from his family. It is really sad. Hope this isn't you OP.

Sounds like you need a better class of friends.

Anonymous wrote:And if you played any role in creating the hostility between you and his family, then shame on you.

It hasn't always been easy, but I've made a point of never criticizing my in-laws...even when provoked. And I've encouraged DH to call his parents and siblings. And I've always made myself and our children available to his family...even when it's on their terms. In short, there's no reason for my in-laws to complain about me. And guess what? They've really come around. No more drama.

Sometimes DILs can be evil bitches.

These type of posts don't help. Every family and every situation is different. You need to get off your high horse and stop judging the OP and thinking how much better you are.

I don't know I see a lot of even my friends who create drama in their husband's family. They try to isolate the husband from the family and when the family gets upset they act injured and finally the husband can't take the stress and separates from his family. It is really sad. Hope this isn't you OP.