Anonymous wrote:When my mom passed away, I got cards with GC to local restaurants. The note basically said sorry for your loss and we know in the upcoming months you'll be busy with the estate so please have dinner in us one night so you don't have to worry about feeding the kids.

From out of town friends and relatives it was a kind gesture.

This happened to me when my dad died. He died during finals week my first semester of grad school. I did appreciate the gift cards and having an excuse to treat myself to a nice meal, especially since I wasn't up to cooking the next 2 weeks.

I've heard of donating towards funeral expenses or donating to a charity in honor of the person's memory. But cash....I don't know. Doesn't seem right.

When my dad died someone sent a generous basket of individually wrapped muffins to our family. Someone else gave me a plant, a living thing that would always remind me of him. I'm sure that there are other things like that.

I've never heard of sending money. My mom usually call the funeral home and has flowers sent there from our family.

Agree that it's usually tied to SES.

I learned something today. I had never heard of people sending money in cases like this.

No, don't offer any cash.

It will only embarrass your friend.

Just send a nice sympathy card to her extending your condolences and leave it at that.

Only if donations to a charity were requested.

I think it's a common practice in certain cultures and religions, and I do think it's tied to SES. I work in an area with poor and lower middle class African Americans and when someone dies, a monetary collection is always taken up.

In the Jewish culture, you don't give money. I know in certain Christian circles they give money with the idea that it's to put towards funeral expenses. (In my family, your funeral expenses are paid for decades ahead of time.)

No money!

Anonymous wrote:Depends on socioeconomic status

I have known African American families who accepted donations for funeral costs

And I have known white and hispanic families who accepted money for funeral costs as well. Since socioeconomic status isn't tied to race.
OP, I've also known people who gave money not because the family was particularly poor, but just because. But it is not at all required or accepted- your card by itself would be fine.

Depends on socioeconomic status

I have known African American families who accepted donations for funeral costs

When my uncle died there was lots of money in the cards. Mostly so that Catholic Masses could be said for him.

$100

Never send cash via U.S. mail. Checks or money orders, only.