Anonymous wrote:I am a mom of two active and rowdy kids (one with ADHD diagnosis), and I go upstairs to escape them as well.

+1 (but I have 3 kids)

Please care about your kids enough to not bring into their lives a man who doesn't really want them around.

Anonymous wrote:Yes it's a deal breaker. He sounds like an asshole- sorry to be blunt but true.

You're acting like it might be a deal breaker to him- but it should be to YOU

I agree.

I know many divorced people and if you think the OP is unique in her situation think again. This happens all the time. In the desperation to get married again, issues like "not really liking kids" get overlooked.

Is this the same OP that posted about a BF not saying he loved you even though he talks positively about a future together but criticizes your home and children?

Why haven't you met his child? "Love of my life" doesn't mean what you think it means.

Anonymous wrote:You really want someone who would check out on his own child? How do you reconcile that in your head with him being a good person?

+1

If you were to marry this guy, would you be okay with this bare minimum status quo?

I am a mom of two active and rowdy kids (one with ADHD diagnosis), and I go upstairs to escape them as well.

Yeah, don't progress with this relationship.

I am one of the few single people in my demographics (and area) who rules out dating anyone who already has children (per online profiles). Even I, as a non-parent, know, that I don't want a guy who is only a partially-engaged parent, because that's not want I want for my own kids, should I ever have them (and you already do).

Why have you wasted a year with this jerk?

Your kids deserve better than a step dad who is polite to them but has to take the dog out to escape them. If he hasn't warmed up to them after a year, he never will. They are young and need to be your first priority. He's not the love of your life, sorry.

OP, are you and him already living together?

Anyway, from what you stated it sounds to me like he is not really "father figure" material for your children and not even for his own child or even for children in general.

Some people just are indifferent around children and he seems to be one of those people unfortunately.

Since your own children are so young, then yes this is most definitely a huge deal-breaker because your children will have another ten years at least where they will be living under your roof and under your care.

Whomever you decide to have a relationship with OP, MUST be someone who is comfortable around young children and must be someone who is okay with the chaos and disorder that living with young children is about.

This guy is far from it.

Plain and simple. This relationship has absolutely no staying power.

You can do the right thing and let him go today. Or you can opt to stay and let this thing just crash and burn on its own. I would do the former because why prolong the heartbreak?

I'd say break it off as well ........ but here is the unpleasant truth: most men are not into having to take on the responsibilities involved with young step-kids. I don't believe it is a reflection on them that they feel that way.

Raising children is a complicated enough in terms of dynamics without having to deal with the inherent conflicts involved in helping raise young step children.

Move on, OP. This will not end well. Your kids deserve better.

He's not the right one and you know this. Save yourself some grief down the road and break it off now.

OP, he's not good for your kids, so he's not good for you. Keep looking and find the right guy in 2015.