OP here, thanks, But if it were only that easy ...
Op, you have to NOT want to be a victim. You are wanting to be a victim.
What are you gaining from it. Attention? Excuses?
It's not to say you didn't have a bad childhood - but YOU choose if you're
going to continue to obsess about it or not.
"Oh, poor me" means you get to escape.
Change that.