Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Women=can find sex partners and/or dates anytime they want. You should have no problem.

Yes, every woman already knows this. She was talking about finding love and that's a bit different.

But that turns into love, fairly generally. Most of the time, in my experience, it's the guys who get more attached than women. As evidenced in the difference in divorce filing rates by gender.

I have always wondered about this. Is it because women have higher standards and expectations or that men are more wary of throwing in the towel as to them it is admitting failure. Also believe that part of it is because dating is so much more difficult for men as they are usually required to make the first move.

This is an interesting discussion. I tend to think it's because when faced with an unhappy relationship, men will do more to cope without leaving the relationship (check out mentally, cheat, etc) and women can't really do the same, because if they cheated their DH would most likely not stay. I also think most men aren't crazy about the idea of less time with their kids and paying child support (if applicable) so they are less inclined to file for divorce.
I also generally find that men have a pretty easy time dating as well, as long as they are dating 'in their league' looks-wise so to speak. The ones who face a lot of rejection are often going after women who are just not a good fit for them.

This probably plays a big part. Seeing your kids once a week and every other weekend is horrible.

Agree. Plus I think most guys don't want to be seen as having walked out on their wife and kids.

I also think there are guys who cheat and intentionally get caught so that it's the wife who's filing for divorce and not them. I could be wrong about that though, it's just a theory.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women=can find sex partners and/or dates anytime they want. You should have no problem.

Yes, every woman already knows this. She was talking about finding love and that's a bit different.

But that turns into love, fairly generally. Most of the time, in my experience, it's the guys who get more attached than women. As evidenced in the difference in divorce filing rates by gender.

I have always wondered about this. Is it because women have higher standards and expectations or that men are more wary of throwing in the towel as to them it is admitting failure. Also believe that part of it is because dating is so much more difficult for men as they are usually required to make the first move.

This is an interesting discussion. I tend to think it's because when faced with an unhappy relationship, men will do more to cope without leaving the relationship (check out mentally, cheat, etc) and women can't really do the same, because if they cheated their DH would most likely not stay. I also think most men aren't crazy about the idea of less time with their kids and paying child support (if applicable) so they are less inclined to file for divorce.
I also generally find that men have a pretty easy time dating as well, as long as they are dating 'in their league' looks-wise so to speak. The ones who face a lot of rejection are often going after women who are just not a good fit for them.

This probably plays a big part. Seeing your kids once a week and every other weekend is horrible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women=can find sex partners and/or dates anytime they want. You should have no problem.

Yes, every woman already knows this. She was talking about finding love and that's a bit different.

But that turns into love, fairly generally. Most of the time, in my experience, it's the guys who get more attached than women. As evidenced in the difference in divorce filing rates by gender.

I have always wondered about this. Is it because women have higher standards and expectations or that men are more wary of throwing in the towel as to them it is admitting failure. Also believe that part of it is because dating is so much more difficult for men as they are usually required to make the first move.

This is an interesting discussion. I tend to think it's because when faced with an unhappy relationship, men will do more to cope without leaving the relationship (check out mentally, cheat, etc) and women can't really do the same, because if they cheated their DH would most likely not stay. I also think most men aren't crazy about the idea of less time with their kids and paying child support (if applicable) so they are less inclined to file for divorce.
I also generally find that men have a pretty easy time dating as well, as long as they are dating 'in their league' looks-wise so to speak. The ones who face a lot of rejection are often going after women who are just not a good fit for them.

I think it's because most men are generally hard to live with. On average, they have poorer social skills, are less adept at relationship regulatory tasks like chatting, and contribute less to the household chores and child rearing. Many times, they dont contribute at all and think of their wife as basically an unpaid maid/nanny/sex supplier. I think sooner or later, once women have kids, they figure out that as hard as it may be to go it alone, it's easier than with an additional burden who is not that socially supportive of them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women=can find sex partners and/or dates anytime they want. You should have no problem.

Yes, every woman already knows this. She was talking about finding love and that's a bit different.

Why do men always think life is one big sex party for women? Just because there is a bar full of men doesn't mean that any of them is attractive to an individual. Yes, at least one is going to take a woman up on going home with her, but so what? A guy can also hire a call girl anytime. But finding love? Tough for everyone. How many times does anyone fall in love in their life?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women=can find sex partners and/or dates anytime they want. You should have no problem.

Yes, every woman already knows this. She was talking about finding love and that's a bit different.

But that turns into love, fairly generally. Most of the time, in my experience, it's the guys who get more attached than women. As evidenced in the difference in divorce filing rates by gender.

I have always wondered about this. Is it because women have higher standards and expectations or that men are more wary of throwing in the towel as to them it is admitting failure. Also believe that part of it is because dating is so much more difficult for men as they are usually required to make the first move.

This is an interesting discussion. I tend to think it's because when faced with an unhappy relationship, men will do more to cope without leaving the relationship (check out mentally, cheat, etc) and women can't really do the same, because if they cheated their DH would most likely not stay. I also think most men aren't crazy about the idea of less time with their kids and paying child support (if applicable) so they are less inclined to file for divorce.
I also generally find that men have a pretty easy time dating as well, as long as they are dating 'in their league' looks-wise so to speak. The ones who face a lot of rejection are often going after women who are just not a good fit for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women=can find sex partners and/or dates anytime they want. You should have no problem.

Yes, every woman already knows this. She was talking about finding love and that's a bit different.

But that turns into love, fairly generally. Most of the time, in my experience, it's the guys who get more attached than women. As evidenced in the difference in divorce filing rates by gender.

I have always wondered about this. Is it because women have higher standards and expectations or that men are more wary of throwing in the towel as to them it is admitting failure. Also believe that part of it is because dating is so much more difficult for men as they are usually required to make the first move.

Anonymous wrote:OP why is it that you find yourself single at 40 with two "very young" kids?

Because my dh cheated on me.

Anonymous wrote:Wow...I have to say, I'm a woman in my 40s who considered divorce a few years ago. I ultimately did not, but during my thought process, one of the things I had decided was that I was NOT going to attempt to date for the forseeable future.

Holy crap that was the last thing I needed! No way was I going to go through a divorce and then have to deal with another relationship.

Maybe I would have reconsidered in a decade or more-but since I was already older and had had my kids, I did not want to seek another man to have a family with. I mean, why bother? Just be free.

Thats my mom. After the divorce, she has barely dated. And she has no real desire to. My father is still in love and would take her back in an instant, but she is just not interested. She is so happy being alone.

Recently a man expressed some ardent interest in my 90 year old grandmother (this has happened a few times since my grandfther died a couple years ago, she always has men after her). She laughed telling us about it. There is no way she will be in another relationship- so happy to be single and not a "caretaker" for a man anymore!

OP why is it that you find yourself single at 40 with two "very young" kids?

Wow...I have to say, I'm a woman in my 40s who considered divorce a few years ago. I ultimately did not, but during my thought process, one of the things I had decided was that I was NOT going to attempt to date for the forseeable future.

Holy crap that was the last thing I needed! No way was I going to go through a divorce and then have to deal with another relationship.

Maybe I would have reconsidered in a decade or more-but since I was already older and had had my kids, I did not want to seek another man to have a family with. I mean, why bother? Just be free.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women=can find sex partners and/or dates anytime they want. You should have no problem.

Yes, every woman already knows this. She was talking about finding love and that's a bit different.

But that turns into love, fairly generally. Most of the time, in my experience, it's the guys who get more attached than women. As evidenced in the difference in divorce filing rates by gender.

OP I'm a 40 yo single mom of a toddler and I understood what you mean by not having the "oomph" for it...it's rough juggling it all by yourself! I'll be honest, I'm not dating. Like, at all right now. With her being this little, it's just not on the priority list. In a few years things will shift, and I'll focus more on myself, but right now my goal is peace and health for myself and my child. My friends however, whose kids are a bit older, do the following:

They have a college girl come 2x/month, regardless, to sit, and they date online. That gives them two Saturday nights/mo to go out. If they find something, great. They have two open dates on the calendar each month to go out. If there's nothing cooking there, it's a movie/restaurant night with the ladies, or hell, even alone! The down time is great, they say. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:When I was single, I would not go out with someone wgo was divorced with kids. Too much drama. Most ex wives are world class bitches and most kids from a divorce are horrid brats.

You, OTOH, sound like a world-class prince. How unfortunate that you are not available for the OP or other divorced women of DCUM!

Im not that poster but i can see where he/she is coming. As a female, i dont date someone divorced or with kids.

New poster here and I don't blame that poster one bit for not dating divorced guys. And I say this as a formerly single woman who married a divorced man.

Totally fine not to date people who are divorced and/or have kids-and much better to just be up front about it. But, a guy who calls a very large group of women bitches, or any woman? Not a catch.

I think that PP was a woman saying that the ex-wives of the men she was dating were bitches.

this but the few nasty man-haters on DCUM almost always assume anything remotely mean is posted by a man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was single, I would not go out with someone wgo was divorced with kids. Too much drama. Most ex wives are world class bitches and most kids from a divorce are horrid brats.

You, OTOH, sound like a world-class prince. How unfortunate that you are not available for the OP or other divorced women of DCUM!

Im not that poster but i can see where he/she is coming. As a female, i dont date someone divorced or with kids.

New poster here and I don't blame that poster one bit for not dating divorced guys. And I say this as a formerly single woman who married a divorced man.

Totally fine not to date people who are divorced and/or have kids-and much better to just be up front about it. But, a guy who calls a very large group of women bitches, or any woman? Not a catch.

I think that PP was a woman saying that the ex-wives of the men she was dating were bitches.

Yeah, I think you're right. Personally a woman who thinks most women are bitches isn't any more interesting to me than a man who thinks most women are bitches.

Anonymous wrote:Women=can find sex partners and/or dates anytime they want. You should have no problem.

Yes, every woman already knows this. She was talking about finding love and that's a bit different.