Anonymous wrote:OP, I think it's reasonable to ask for help with kids. Maybe your MIL does not want to get in your way or is afraid to do something wrong. When we visit my parents or ILs, I rarely see my kids because grandparents take over. They don't see it as help, they are enjoying their time with kids.
I don't understand the vitriol on this thread.

The vitriol is directly proportional to her expectation.

OP, I think it's reasonable to ask for help with kids. Maybe your MIL does not want to get in your way or is afraid to do something wrong. When we visit my parents or ILs, I rarely see my kids because grandparents take over. They don't see it as help, they are enjoying their time with kids.
I don't understand the vitriol on this thread.

i get it - travel with kids is hard. Ask for help if you need it - don't just expect people to offer. "Joan, I'm sorry for all the chaos we cause but the kids are out of sorts. Could I ask you to just mind Billy for a few minutes while I jump in the shower?" What do you do at home that you can't do there to make these things happen? Just say, "At home I do it while he naps/watches a movie/stays in the playroom, but we can't do that as easily here."

As for getting out to do extras, well you'll just have to balance with DH on that one. Can't he watch them while you walk? If it really doesn't work then just acept that you'll have to stay home at the holidays.

OP, you came in LOUD and CLEAR.

This has to be a troll

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, very hard to explain. Understand your points! - OP

So you get you're a total asshole who should be ashamed of herself? Let me guess, you still think your in laws are bad. Sounds like you and your husband deserve each other. Feel bad for the rest of his family. You guys suck.

Bad? They're amazing. See my first sentence. - OP

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get what you're saying. It could be a situation where "the village" helps out a bit with the actual childcare, so that you and your husband aren't totally frazzled. But you're not lucky that way and all you can do is hang in there. One day your kids will be older and it will be MUCH easier. And one day your BIL and SIL may have kids, and then they'll have s turn while you either relax or help: your choice!

Thanks so much - OP. I debated not posting and am not going to defend how much I love my in laws or how grateful I am for their hospitality. I know how DCUM loves a good pile-on and I guess my wording provoked it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Classic DCUM Princess.

I just can't explain what I mean. It's fine, Id say the same reading this - I know how it sounds! - OP

We understood you perfectly. You have an expectation that your in-laws, on top of being gracious hosts, are going to swoop in and nanny your children so you can have a break.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Classic DCUM Princess.

I just can't explain what I mean. It's fine, Id say the same reading this - I know how it sounds! - OP

We all get what you mean OP. We just think you are a horrible person.

OP, I get what you're saying. It could be a situation where "the village" helps out a bit with the actual childcare, so that you and your husband aren't totally frazzled. But you're not lucky that way and all you can do is hang in there. One day your kids will be older and it will be MUCH easier. And one day your BIL and SIL may have kids, and then they'll have s turn while you either relax or help: your choice!

OP - How do you and DH manage your kids when you are home?

This seems faux. No one can be this helpless/stupid.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, very hard to explain. Understand your points! - OP

So you get you're a total asshole who should be ashamed of herself? Let me guess, you still think your in laws are bad. Sounds like you and your husband deserve each other. Feel bad for the rest of his family. You guys suck.

Anonymous wrote:Classic DCUM Princess.

I just can't explain what I mean. It's fine, Id say the same reading this - I know how it sounds! - OP

Anonymous wrote:Classic DCUM Princess.

Oh yes it is !

Classic DCUM Princess.