Anonymous wrote:Just ask. Maybe two packages were stuck together. Maybe he put some in the cart by mistake. I wouldn't assume the worst. But if he admits to taking them, just have him take it back and apologize. That's punishment enough, IMO, for a first offense.

I agree about asking before punishing, but don't fall for stupid excuses - putting them in the cart by "mistake"? Seriously? Did they magically fly there? Plus, OP said she only saw one pair on the belt, which means the second one had to come out of the store some other way. I would ask for his version and take him back to the store to apologize. I think taking away the Christmas presents would be too much and would make him bitter instead of repentant, so I would probably avoid that - after all, you wouldn't be thinking about it if it'd happened in June instead of December. I could see taking away the special activity and the toys he picked out, depending on his attitude.

Just ask. Maybe two packages were stuck together. Maybe he put some in the cart by mistake. I wouldn't assume the worst. But if he admits to taking them, just have him take it back and apologize. That's punishment enough, IMO, for a first offense.

When I was a kid, I stole a small toy from a convenience store. I'd asked my father for it; he said no, so I stole it and pretended I "found" it in the dirt next to our parked car. I even rubbed it in the dirt to make it look like it had really been lost. it was a total crap toy I didn't even want. A stupid plastic spinning top, of all things. I *still* feel guilty...I have never stolen again.

Kids make mistakes. Maybe he intentionally stole. Maybe he didn't. Either way, give him the benefit of the doubt and ask out of love rather than accuse. Don't take away Christmas gifts; don't be embarrassed if he did steal and do not go out of your way to embarrass him at the store -- he'll hate you for that crap and feel horrible about himself. And, after all kids make mistakes. He's going to be embarrassed and upset if he did steal. If he didn't and you accuse him, he's going to feel even worse. If you publicly humiliate him? Ugh. Just don't shame him. Shaming kids actually makes them act out in other ways or get sneakier.

Anyway, sorry... I hope it all turned out well. I hope you'll let us know how it went.

When I was a kid maybe like 7 or so, I took a piece of candy from 7-11. When we got back to the car, my father saw the candy and made me go back into the store apologize and return the candy. I still remember it today and I am almost 50.

Take him to the store in the second pair of hand cuffs, have him return both, or get the one pair for the friend and none for him.

Maybe you and your husband can find a use for the second pair?

Make it a teachable moment. Even if the cashier forgot to ring it up, it shows the right thing by letting them know it was an error.

My husband went to Target this weekend to buy diapers, formula, a few other things and a new Kcup machine.when he got home I didn't like the machine he bought (too big) and asked him to return it and get a smaller one. Once there at customer service trying to return the machine, it was not on the receipt. He had not been charged for it and didn't even noticed it. Had he not gone back, we wouldn't even know....

My point is, sometimes things get overlooked. If a big item like a K machine wasn't charged by mistake, I can imagine this happening with a small toy. Don't assume he stole. Also, he is 9 - if he had stollen I doubt he would have put it under the tree.

Well I hope you took his presents away. This kind of stuff has to be nipped out early!

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are way, way, ahead of yourself and you are basically proceeding to "Christmas Capital Punishment" for a first offender on an offense that even if proven (which it is not) would merit something like probation, a reprimand, or a stern warning.

Slow down, find out the facts, deal with what actually happened, and punish the offense proportionately. If your child made a mistake, explain the mistake, why it was not a good idea, and why it can't happen again. Have him write an essay. Don't link Christmas to punishments. Taking away Christmas would devastate your child forever.

This!

IF he did, just have him return them himself to the store. It is punishment enough for first offense.

Anonymous wrote:OP thinks her child was sneaky enough to steal a toy and stupid enough to put the stolen goods out in plain sight? That doesn't even make sense.

He may have thought she wouldn't notice the extra item. 9yos aren't exactky criminal masterminds.

OP thinks her child was sneaky enough to steal a toy and stupid enough to put the stolen goods out in plain sight? That doesn't even make sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you determine that he did, then take him to the store and apologize. My brother did that as a kid and it didn't happen again. Don't take away all his christmas presents. It's too harsh.

Totally agree.

He will be so angry that he may steal again (if he actually did knowingly) just out of spite...but be better at it next time.

If he were my kid and stole again out of spite, the consequences would be beyond not getting Christmas gifts.

You say that these things are under your Christmas tree. Are they wrapped?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you determine that he did, then take him to the store and apologize. My brother did that as a kid and it didn't happen again. Don't take away all his christmas presents. It's too harsh.

OP - agree

He needs to learn now that stealing has serious consequences and while I would not take away all presents, I would cancel the other kid coming over and return all of the toys he picked out.

Anonymous wrote:If you determine that he did, then take him to the store and apologize. My brother did that as a kid and it didn't happen again. Don't take away all his christmas presents. It's too harsh.

Totally agree with this.

Anonymous wrote:If you determine that he did, then take him to the store and apologize. My brother did that as a kid and it didn't happen again. Don't take away all his christmas presents. It's too harsh.

I agree. Taking away Christmas presents is way to harsh of a punishment for the crime.