Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of the story of the 95 year olds who got a divorce after 75 years of marriage.

The judge looked at them and granted it and then asked "Why, after all this time are you getting divorced?"

The man replied "You honor, we've hated each other for 70 years, but figured it was best to stay together until the kids died."

Okay, that really made me laugh. OMG. Thank you for sharing!

+1,000 Good one PP.

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of the story of the 95 year olds who got a divorce after 75 years of marriage.

The judge looked at them and granted it and then asked "Why, after all this time are you getting divorced?"

The man replied "You honor, we've hated each other for 70 years, but figured it was best to stay together until the kids died."

Okay, that really made me laugh. OMG. Thank you for sharing!

Reminds me of the story of the 95 year olds who got a divorce after 75 years of marriage.

The judge looked at them and granted it and then asked "Why, after all this time are you getting divorced?"

The man replied "You honor, we've hated each other for 70 years, but figured it was best to stay together until the kids died."

My FIL and his wife (so my DH’s stepmother) are divorcing, it’s almost final. They’ve been together almost 30 years. FIL is a real jerk, this is his second divorce, both times the wife has left him. He doesn’t want to get divorced because he thinks he’s such a catch and he doesn’t do anything wrong. But he’s a super ahole. I am surprised wife #2 waited so long. She’s 63, he’s 71. I predict she will get remarried, and that my FIL will become our problem.

A childhood friend's parents, now in their 70s (maybe pushing 80) are married in name only. The mom has moved out at various times, but has found it easier to live as roommates with the dad than other options she's tried, mainly because of complicated finances. (My friend no longer lives in the U.S., and paying for health care for the mom became an issue when the mom lived with my friend for a while.) Years ago, my friend and her sibling, essentially told their parents to go ahead and get a divorce, but they didn't.

Anonymous wrote:

There is never a good time to double your housing costs, no. How astute you are.

Divorced people are not required to live alone. If they don't have money to maintain their current residence on their own, they can move to housing that is half as expensive or get a roommate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think getting a divorce at this stage is unwise from a financial and practical perspective. Probably better if your mom just moves out on her own. She doesn't need a divorce to do that. Can she move in with you or another sibling?

It kills me because people will say this no-matter what stage a woman is in life. Oh you have a newborn? Not a good time. Your toddler just turned two? You're in for a horrible time! Kids are in middle school? You don't want to scar them! High school teens? Just wait three more years and they're in college. Oh your kids are out of the house? Great, make you can afford two households AND tuition.


Why don't people just admit they don't think women should ever divorce?

There is never a good time to double your housing costs, no. How astute you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to live with it, so I'm not sure why stopping it has to be a priority.

Now making sure they're not jumping off a diving board into an emptied pool -- that IS your job along with the lawyers, etc.

Short sighted response. My in laws divorced after 25 yrs of marriage and its a nightmare for dh and siblings even though none of them lives in their hometown. Health care, finances, emotional support. It's a burden.

Again, you and your spouse didn't have to live with it. Easy to say "stay together" when you don't have to live it.

Easy to say "get divorced" when you don't have to be broke and alone in your 90s. And easy to say when you're not the adult child who has to pick up the pieces.

Anonymous wrote:I think getting a divorce at this stage is unwise from a financial and practical perspective. Probably better if your mom just moves out on her own. She doesn't need a divorce to do that. Can she move in with you or another sibling?

It kills me because people will say this no-matter what stage a woman is in life. Oh you have a newborn? Not a good time. Your toddler just turned two? You're in for a horrible time! Kids are in middle school? You don't want to scar them! High school teens? Just wait three more years and they're in college. Oh your kids are out of the house? Great, make you can afford two households AND tuition.


Why don't people just admit they don't think women should ever divorce?

Why are some people acting as if OP has a say in this?

They should divorce if they are truly unhappy, but they must make a realistic plan for finances and logistics of taking care of each other. The burden will fall much more heavily on the children, so the children have the right to ask questions and push for realistic answers.

Face facts, OP, if this happens it will cost you a ton of your own money and a huge amount of time. Caregiving for two seniors in two separate homes requires a lot of time. All of the household admin things are doubled, and you no longer have your mom's help caring for your dad and vice versa.

Think about what you would do if one of them fell down. Even two people who hate each other would call 911. What happens if they live alone?

Anonymous wrote:I think getting a divorce at this stage is unwise from a financial and practical perspective. Probably better if your mom just moves out on her own. She doesn't need a divorce to do that. Can she move in with you or another sibling?

Agree with this. She should just move out and try to enjoy the life she has left. Morbidly obese dad will just have to deal

let them divoce'its nobody's business but their own. Sometimes it takes decades to realize you married a jerk!

What a surprising bunch of responses!

No, but my in-laws probably should have. MIL is the nicest person, would not say boo to a moo. FIL passed away last year. She is so much happier. And DH start hearing about mean things FIL did from years ago which she thought DH did not know or notice (he did).