I'm the PP who has had 100% participation in all the times I've been a room parent. I don't get the angst with this issue at all. To me, I love contributing to a group gift of any kind (school, work secretary, etc) because my contribution can be magnified by others. Wouldn't you rather get a $100-$200 gift card than a $20 gift card?

I'd be really bummed if my kid were in a class and there was no class gift.

Room parent here. I'm actually in the "give your own holiday gift" camp but this school's tradition dictates otherwise. I honestly did not care what people gave and did not ask for anyone to label their cash gift. I'd say we had 90% participation. It was never in doubt that I would sign the card from the entire class regardless who gave and how much.

Hmmm...I've been a room parent for the past two years in an MCPS public school (2nd and 3rd grade) and both years all but 1 last year and 2 this year have contributed with only 1 or 2 reminders. That doesn't mean that all have contributed the same amount- but that's what I like about it- that those that do not have a lot can contribute toward the gift without pressure. I am the only one that knows how much everyone contributed, but I did let the parents knows that almost everyone contributed, that we were able to get a large gift card for the teacher, and that we were set for parties and the end of year gift as well. Maybe it is just the culture at my school?

Room Parent here of a 40% FARMS school. We asked for $20 at the beginning of the year for all gifts (xmas and year end) and parties (2). 18 students in class, I think 16 of those gave money. I asked 3 times and even got 1 last donation right before xmas. The gift cards are purchased out of that.

We also asked if parents would like to donate for parties vs. have us buy it. Many parents wanted to donate for the Halloween Party, so that gave us more money to spend on teacher, aid, etc.

Our gifts were from all students.

If I am not thrilled with the teacher I don't give anything. I love my oldest's teacher so gave 25. I am not so pleased with my younger one's teacher so I didn't give anything.

We had 100% participation and I never bugged anybody Bout it. Kindergarten. I signed card as from the whole class. We hadn't yet achieved 100% participation when I signed the card, but I'm not going to single out people who don't participate. I also out in our own money for people who hadn't aent anything in because I wasn't going to give someone like $87.50. It all worked out.

K room parent here. About half of our class contributed. I definitely did not keep track of who gave and who did not. Who has time for that? Every child signed the card. We raised $200 and had contributions between $5 and $30.

Anonymous wrote:and the question that will really get DCUM going - Did you put indicate the gift was from the entire class or just the parents that participated? Did it depend on what percentage did/did not participate?

PP here who has been the room mom for a K and a 4th grade class. In both cases, I just had each child in the class sign the card. The money is generally sent to the room mom via the teacher anyway--parents send in an envelope addressed to the room mom with their kid and they teacher sends it home with the room mom's kid...teachers aren't stupid, they know that the envelope contains money for the class gift. And the same parents who volunteer, who send in items for the class projects/parties, who get their forms in on time, etc. are the same parents who donate to the class gift. It's pretty obvious who participates and who doesn't.

I'm not one this year, but I have been in previous years. Once for a Kindergarten class (2011-12 school year) and for my other child's 4th grade class (2013-14). Same public school in the VA suburbs.

Kindergarten class had a high participation rate--I'd say 80% or maybe even higher. 4th grade class was closer to about 25-30%.

I think in general, parents are just more enthusiastic about everything (participation in gifts, volunteering, sending in forms on time, etc.) when their kids are in the younger grades.

Anonymous wrote:This was our first year contributing to a class gift and gave cash anonymously. Should we have put our name on an envelope and contributed? Is someone keeping track of who gives and ho doesn't?

Anonymous is fine and appropriate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
3. Some parents who want to give the teacher a bigger gift are aggravated that they know they are only subsidizing parents who give nothing letting them hide.

This is what annoys me.

What annoys me are the bean counters. For me, the point is to give a gift to the teachers for their hard work in teacher my children. I don't need the acknowledgment that I gave more than others. It's not my business that Sally's mom is struggling post-divorce to pay her bills or that Johnny's grandfather just had a stroke and the family is paying expensive medical bills or that Jimmy's parents don't know how to budget and overspent their holiday budget and had nothing left. The point is that Mrs. Smith was an excellent teacher and deserves a holiday gift. I give extra when I have extra and I give the minimum when I don't...because I have it to give. I'm not subsidizing the parents, I'm ensuring that Mrs. Smith gets the acknowledgment that she did a good job teaching our children and that we, the parents, are grateful. Even the parents who didn't contribute are usually grateful. And if I were the organizer, it would always say from everyone.

This was our first year contributing to a class gift and gave cash anonymously. Should we have put our name on an envelope and contributed? Is someone keeping track of who gives and ho doesn't?

Anonymous wrote:This is why when I'm room parent we don't do group gifts and I send an email to that effect. I did it once and felt like an asshole sending reminders for $$ and then it is always a weird amount that I end up spending more $$ for so we don't look cheap as a class. Everyone should do their own.

I should clarify- my email just lets people know there isn't a group gift and tells parents some of the teachers hobbies and where they shop and eat out if the parent wants t do an optional gift.

This is why when I'm room parent we don't do group gifts and I send an email to that effect. I did it once and felt like an asshole sending reminders for $$ and then it is always a weird amount that I end up spending more $$ for so we don't look cheap as a class. Everyone should do their own.

Anonymous wrote:This is a good idea but it sadly doesn't work because women are stupid and all the negative stereotypes of the female gender come out in this situation.

1. The room parents turn into crazy queen bees ruled by rage at how some parents do not give. They gossip.
2. Some parents go crazy with rage that the queen bee room parents take the credit for the gift that they gave to the teacher.
3. Some parents who want to give the teacher a bigger gift are aggravated that they know they are only subsidizing parents who give nothing letting them hide.
4. Some parents who don't celebrate Christmas are offended that there is collection near Christmas.
5. Some parents ignore the whole thing and just send in a card to the teacher on their own anyway.

Its great for the teacher because then they theoretically they get one large generic gift card rather than a stack of smaller gift cards often to random places.

You poster, are an asshole. I don't care if you are a woman.