Anonymous wrote:I used to have an issue like this with my MIL. My wife also had issues with her but could never stand up to her emotional bullying.

I know that your issue is different but I learned to handle her keeping three things in mind

1) I now understand that she is emotionally immature and although she is in her mid-sixties, she acts and will always act like 14 year old girl.

2) I am very passive aggressive with her. I know how she steers conversations and used to be shocked by her behavior. Now I prepare for her and shut her down early in her rants.

3) She won't change

Here are some examples


A) MIL starts in on DW and her house keeping

Me- It most have been nice back when one person could stay at home and take care of everything. I wish we could do that but we just can't afford it

B) MIL starts in on kids these day ...

Me- Yup before you know it that rock and roll will take over the world.

C) MIL starts in on minorities (she is a racist)

Me - Its great to live in a country where you have the right to stupid idea's and you can't be put in jail.

MIL - Are you insinuating that I am stupid.

Me - No I'm pointing out that your ideas are 50 years past debate. The country has now decided that you are stupid.

D) MIL says something stupid that I did not think of

Me- That must make sense in your little world.


I know that its not the PC way to deal with someone but too many people come from the approach of trying to understand and change. I now take the mock and dress down approach. The MIL will never changes BUT she has at least learned to stay less stupid things in our presence.

x 1,000

I used to have an issue like this with my MIL. My wife also had issues with her but could never stand up to her emotional bullying.

I know that your issue is different but I learned to handle her keeping three things in mind

1) I now understand that she is emotionally immature and although she is in her mid-sixties, she acts and will always act like 14 year old girl.

2) I am very passive aggressive with her. I know how she steers conversations and used to be shocked by her behavior. Now I prepare for her and shut her down early in her rants.

3) She won't change

Here are some examples


A) MIL starts in on DW and her house keeping

Me- It most have been nice back when one person could stay at home and take care of everything. I wish we could do that but we just can't afford it

B) MIL starts in on kids these day ...

Me- Yup before you know it that rock and roll will take over the world.

C) MIL starts in on minorities (she is a racist)

Me - Its great to live in a country where you have the right to stupid idea's and you can't be put in jail.

MIL - Are you insinuating that I am stupid.

Me - No I'm pointing out that your ideas are 50 years past debate. The country has now decided that you are stupid.

D) MIL says something stupid that I did not think of

Me- That must make sense in your little world.


I know that its not the PC way to deal with someone but too many people come from the approach of trying to understand and change. I now take the mock and dress down approach. The MIL will never changes BUT she has at least learned to stay less stupid things in our presence.