Anonymous
12/21/2014 13:57
Subject: Picking up picking up picking up after DH
Anonymous wrote:Doormats
It's not being a doormat. It's about choosing your battles.
My dh does similar things as described in this thread. He's also a loving guy, excellent father, faithful husband and hard worker. So I accept that he leaves stuff around
I will still do his laundry and cook meals for him.
I'm sure there is stuff he accepts about me too!
Anonymous
12/21/2014 12:43
Subject: Re:Picking up picking up picking up after DH
I have one of these. My own personal household hurricane.
In the past, I've tried many ways to make this situation better. Most of it didn't work or caused tension. I don't make a big deal of it any more because I don't want to be b****-wife. You have to choose your battles!
Also, I know a few couples where the husband is neat. At first I wished for that, but some of them are overboard and I notice it causes their DWs to stress out if anything is messy. I would go crazy if my DH came home and noticed anything out of place! So, I take the bad with the good.
In the past, I've tried many ways to make this situation better. Most of it didn't work or caused tension. I don't make a big deal of it any more because I don't want to be b****-wife. You have to choose your battles!
Also, I know a few couples where the husband is neat. At first I wished for that, but some of them are overboard and I notice it causes their DWs to stress out if anything is messy. I would go crazy if my DH came home and noticed anything out of place! So, I take the bad with the good.
Anonymous
12/21/2014 12:38
Subject: Picking up picking up picking up after DH
Anonymous wrote:DH is like this too but after 25+ yrs of marriage, I know he will never change. I made it a lot easier for him by having our house built around his inability to put anything away. At least if there is a designated place for something, he'll leave it there and not anywhere else. Big walk-in closets with dressing/undressing areas attached to his bathroom helps.
What does dressing/undressing area attached to bathroom look like? I want this for myself! (Single mom so no DH to pick up after.
)
Anonymous
12/21/2014 11:21
Subject: Picking up picking up picking up after DH
My DH is guilty of nearly all the aforementioned grievances. But he is the deep cleaner and spends the weekends vacuuming, dusting, and cleaning bathrooms around his trail of clutter. So I continue to keep my mouth shut and move his gym clothes from the top of the hamper into the actual functional part of the hamper, the dirty knife from the counter above the dishwasher into the dishwasher, and the 17 workshirts draped on the railing back up to his closet. Ad infinitum.
Anonymous
12/21/2014 11:17
Subject: Picking up picking up picking up after DH
Doormats
Anonymous
12/21/2014 10:15
Subject: Picking up picking up picking up after DH
I have three of those types in my house. One is mostly off to college, so a bit of a reprieve, but....
Anonymous
12/21/2014 08:48
Subject: Picking up picking up picking up after DH
Lol, in like this thread. Me too! DHs socks wherever he felt the need to remove them, pocket contents wherever they got heavy I guess, clothing tags on the dresser, garbage on the counter above the can, dishes in the sink next to the dishwasher
Anonymous
12/20/2014 19:10
Subject: Re:Picking up picking up picking up after DH
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I come home every day and find my husband's socks touching the outside of the hamper. Strength.
Mine too! Literally touching the hamper! I have pointed this out and he says he doesn't want to touch the dirty socks so he waits until he takes off another clothing item like a shirt and uses that to grab the dirty socks. Wtf? Meanwhile, those socks lay there for hours if I don't intervene. I can't let them wait because it just seems so wrong to me and I put them in the hamper. I am still alive after touching the socks.
Guy here, and I've got pretty stinky feet but there's nothing so toxic about them that I wouldn't touch my socks at the end of the day. That excuse stinks more than the socks possibly could.
Anonymous
12/20/2014 19:09
Subject: Picking up picking up picking up after DH
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just a vent, since I love him and wouldn't change him. I am just so tired of how he leaves everything around and never puts things away.
Feeding the dog, making coffee, tags from his drycleaning, he scatters detritis wherever he goes. He just doesn't notice. He has moved on. Nagging doesn't help because it's not intentional. He has always had someone to clean up after him too, housekeepers or housekeeping.
I am grateful that he is not a secret chicken stock maker space heater user, so there's that.
It just reinforces me to try to be neater than ever and teach the kids to put things away too.
Eh....give the guy a break. I'm sure there are things about you that annoy him too. be grateful you are in a marriage with a man you love and this is the worst thing you can complain about right now.
Did you see the bolded part?
Anonymous
12/20/2014 19:08
Subject: Re:Picking up picking up picking up after DH
My DH puts his dirty clothes on top of the hamper. I have offered to just put the lid away so it'll be an open target for him, but he doesn't want me to do that because "it looks ugly with all the clothes just sitting out there."
*facepalm*
*facepalm*
Anonymous
12/20/2014 18:33
Subject: Re:Picking up picking up picking up after DH
Anonymous wrote:I come home every day and find my husband's socks touching the outside of the hamper. Strength.
Mine too! Literally touching the hamper! I have pointed this out and he says he doesn't want to touch the dirty socks so he waits until he takes off another clothing item like a shirt and uses that to grab the dirty socks. Wtf? Meanwhile, those socks lay there for hours if I don't intervene. I can't let them wait because it just seems so wrong to me and I put them in the hamper. I am still alive after touching the socks.
Anonymous
12/20/2014 17:22
Subject: Picking up picking up picking up after DH
DH is like this too but after 25+ yrs of marriage, I know he will never change. I made it a lot easier for him by having our house built around his inability to put anything away. At least if there is a designated place for something, he'll leave it there and not anywhere else. Big walk-in closets with dressing/undressing areas attached to his bathroom helps.
Anonymous
12/20/2014 17:15
Subject: Picking up picking up picking up after DH
My DH too. Socks everywhere. Work clothes hung over dining room chairs every night. Shoes in the middle of the entryway. Cabinets and drawers always half closed. Receipts and other small trash left on tabletop, countertops, every surface. He's maddening!
Anonymous
12/20/2014 17:10
Subject: Picking up picking up picking up after DH
Anonymous wrote:Just a vent, since I love him and wouldn't change him. I am just so tired of how he leaves everything around and never puts things away.
Feeding the dog, making coffee, tags from his drycleaning, he scatters detritis wherever he goes. He just doesn't notice. He has moved on. Nagging doesn't help because it's not intentional. He has always had someone to clean up after him too, housekeepers or housekeeping.
I am grateful that he is not a secret chicken stock maker space heater user, so there's that.
It just reinforces me to try to be neater than ever and teach the kids to put things away too.
Eh....give the guy a break. I'm sure there are things about you that annoy him too. be grateful you are in a marriage with a man you love and this is the worst thing you can complain about right now.
Anonymous
12/20/2014 17:01
Subject: Re:Picking up picking up picking up after DH
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I come home every day and find my husband's socks touching the outside of the hamper. Strength.
OP here. LOL so...close! Thank you for commiserating.
DH leaves ONE sock on the couch. The other one on his bathroom floor. He usually walks around all evening wearing one sock. WTF? I only buy one style of sock for him now and I don't match his socks when I do laundry either.
He leaves his stir stick next to the coffee pot. He leaves a freaking cheese slice wrapper on the counter, above where the trash can pulls out. He leaves cabinet doors open. Drives me up the wall. If I had to share a bathroom with him, I would kill him. Almost 15 years, we've never shared a bathroom.
Why do you do his laundry if you're picking up after him for all these other things? Do yours and the kids and leave his alone.
When I was working, I would sometimes leave his laundry but it was more of a pain to sort it. Since I'm home now, it's pretty much my job to do the laundry. Honestly, if him leaving a sock laying around or a cheese wrapper on the counter is the worst thing that happens, I'm pretty fortunate. When I say drives me up the wall, some days it does, some days it doesn't.