Anonymous
Post 02/21/2015 16:40     Subject: If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)
Anonymous wrote:I used to work as a CNA and also did hospice work. The Attends brand wipes are better than baby wipes because they're made for an adult butt. You can also go to target (dollar store, walmart, wherever) and get a big stack of the cheapest washcloths you can find and use those. Some people toss them out after a use, others wash them and reuse. But that's another option. There are special peri-sprays that are especiall adept at getting poo off skin so I'd look into that. It's literally called peri-spray. This was 20 yrs ago but I'm sure they still sell the stuff. You could also come up w/ a homemade spray w/ tea tree oil, baby oil etc in it mixed with water and a little baby shampoo. Good Luck to you.


Hello. My dad recently died of a brain tumor and near the end, he needed help with everything.

The peri-sprays still exist and the hospice staff used them. I second the recommendation to get the adult wipes, not the baby wipes. And gloves.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2015 14:24     Subject: If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)
No advice, but I just want to say that you are a good woman. I couldn't do that.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 22:47     Subject: Re:If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)
The person who said to trim is right. Marge, this is awkward, but I think it would help if we trim up a bit, here it'll just take a minute.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 21:33     Subject: If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)
Pp here. For some reason I thought she was immobile... So my method prob won't be the best, but for anyone else reading who is caring for someone bed bound this method works great.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 21:29     Subject: If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)
I'm a nurse so I've gotten really good at this!

Get lots of chux and have MIL lay flat with tons of chux under her. Have MIL roll on side with upper leg bent so you can clean. Get that one side completely clean then roll the top chux under her (there should be more directly lying user each other). Hve MIL roll over on to the other side over the lump of chux. Once she's over keep Rolling the dirty one out and toss it. Clean the other side. I use wet wash cloths but that's prob not sanitary at home since I'm not sure you want to throw these in your washer.

Does this make sense? If the stool is well contained this shouldn't be messy
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 21:22     Subject: Re:If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)
Anonymous wrote:I'm teary and disgusted and grateful to have found this thread. My MIL needs personal help. I got a raised toilet seat for her and it's routinely covered in feces that she clearly tries to wipe off but doesn't get all of it. My husband just talked her into wearing an adult diaper to bed. She goes through 3-4 pairs of pants and underwear daily. She'll visit for a week at a time and sponge bath herself while sitting on a couch in the guest room, which now reeks of diarrhea and is stained with the outline of her butt. I bought a shower seat but she won't use it. I don't think she actually does shower at home anymore. She smells and my kids just started to notice.

How on earth do I raise this with her? Do I? My husband is tapped out now - the adult diaper conversation was all he had in him. What help do I even offer her?

Thanks for reading.
You just have to be direct. There's no way around it. Either offer to help her or offer to hire a home health aid or CNA to help her. You need to be kind of firm though but approach it from a position of love and helping no from PU You Stink! (Though she does and you need to address that.)
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 21:19     Subject: Re:If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)
Anonymous wrote:I'm teary and disgusted and grateful to have found this thread. My MIL needs personal help. I got a raised toilet seat for her and it's routinely covered in feces that she clearly tries to wipe off but doesn't get all of it. My husband just talked her into wearing an adult diaper to bed. She goes through 3-4 pairs of pants and underwear daily. She'll visit for a week at a time and sponge bath herself while sitting on a couch in the guest room, which now reeks of diarrhea and is stained with the outline of her butt. I bought a shower seat but she won't use it. I don't think she actually does shower at home anymore. She smells and my kids just started to notice.

How on earth do I raise this with her? Do I? My husband is tapped out now - the adult diaper conversation was all he had in him. What help do I even offer her?

Thanks for reading.
You just have to be direct. There's no way around it. Either offer to help her or offer to hire a home health aid or CNA to help her. You need to be kind of firm though but approach it from a position of love and helping no from PU You Stink! (Though she does and you need to address that.)
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 21:17     Subject: If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)
I used to work as a CNA and also did hospice work. The Attends brand wipes are better than baby wipes because they're made for an adult butt. You can also go to target (dollar store, walmart, wherever) and get a big stack of the cheapest washcloths you can find and use those. Some people toss them out after a use, others wash them and reuse. But that's another option. There are special peri-sprays that are especiall adept at getting poo off skin so I'd look into that. It's literally called peri-spray. This was 20 yrs ago but I'm sure they still sell the stuff. You could also come up w/ a homemade spray w/ tea tree oil, baby oil etc in it mixed with water and a little baby shampoo. Good Luck to you.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2015 12:43     Subject: Re:If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)
I'm teary and disgusted and grateful to have found this thread. My MIL needs personal help. I got a raised toilet seat for her and it's routinely covered in feces that she clearly tries to wipe off but doesn't get all of it. My husband just talked her into wearing an adult diaper to bed. She goes through 3-4 pairs of pants and underwear daily. She'll visit for a week at a time and sponge bath herself while sitting on a couch in the guest room, which now reeks of diarrhea and is stained with the outline of her butt. I bought a shower seat but she won't use it. I don't think she actually does shower at home anymore. She smells and my kids just started to notice.

How on earth do I raise this with her? Do I? My husband is tapped out now - the adult diaper conversation was all he had in him. What help do I even offer her?

Thanks for reading.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2014 03:22     Subject: If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)
We use huggies wipes for my DH until he is the thoroughly clean, we then finish by giving a final wipe down with a white wet soapy hand towel and a dry one before applying lotion. If he is on commode chair, we have him lean from side to side to ensure he is all clean. Try wiping as soon as she is done too. Good luck
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2014 23:25     Subject: If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, for the record, this is NOT TMI territory. A lot of us either needed to figure it out, or will. I wish we talked about this kind of caregiving more.

Big hugs.


+100000


I agree too! Try to take care of yourself too.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2014 23:15     Subject: If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, a spray bottle with warm soapy water works well if you don't want to do a sprayer or bidet type situation.
Do you have a walk in shower with a shower chair?


OP here. Not currently. Right now I am using those soapy baby wipes (to give newborns sponge baths) to clean her. But soon we will be moving to a place where she will have a bathroom with shower/hand rail etc).


I find that the soapy baby wipes make it harder to wipe poop because they are slippery. I would try a different brand. I like huggies one and done (for my toddler, but same concept).
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2014 21:48     Subject: If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)
Anonymous wrote:Can't you get some sort of eldercare assistance with this? How old is your MIL?


For this specifically no since she is not regular and is not one of those people who have a bm everyday around the same time. I do have people who stay with her when I need to go out for longs periods of time.

Anonymous
Post 12/20/2014 21:41     Subject: If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)
Anonymous wrote:OP, a spray bottle with warm soapy water works well if you don't want to do a sprayer or bidet type situation.
Do you have a walk in shower with a shower chair?


OP here. Not currently. Right now I am using those soapy baby wipes (to give newborns sponge baths) to clean her. But soon we will be moving to a place where she will have a bathroom with shower/hand rail etc).
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2014 20:25     Subject: If you have ever taken care of an disabled teen/adult/elderly… (TMI)

Call a hospice center and ask to speak with a nurse. They are super knowledgeable, patient, amazing people.