Op ~ do a little more than you would normally be inclined to do, but otherwise, don't give any weight to FIL's requests.

Don't discuss. Just ignore.

Anonymous wrote:I just want to say that I think the way you handled this was perfect. You could have been sulky and passive aggressively pissed off. Instead you addressed it in a humorous way while still getting your point across nicely. Well done.

+1

You sound too reasonable to be on this board. Get out while you can.

I just want to say that I think the way you handled this was perfect. You could have been sulky and passive aggressively pissed off. Instead you addressed it in a humorous way while still getting your point across nicely. Well done.

"The women work straight through and the men sit on the couch and watch sports" ++ I know several families like this. Thank God my dad isn't like that, even in his 80s, he loves to cook and is a great host

If the celebration is at their house, he may be trying to relieve the burden on his wife. Cooking for all the guests can be exhausting, especially for people who are grandparent age. It is absolutely reasonable that you and other guests should help out.

BUT HORRIBLE THAT THE MEN AREN'T INCLUDED. This happens in my husband's family too and it makes me crazy. The women work straight through and the men sit on the couch and watch sports. Re-do the assignment list with tasks for the men included and send it back out to everyone.

Holy crap. I host Thanksgiving for my in laws and everyone has chores but no way to the chauvinist thing! Some men cook, my lesbian SIL and partner both help out with dishes, childcare and cooking, and everyone helps set the table.

We don't have official assignments, though, except for things everyone has to do for themselves (ie strip beds at the end). That would really make me mad, but I'm glad you are handling it so gracefully OP.

MIL does this, but she does not write it out.

I have never once seen a DH help out during the holidays. Mil is totally clueless about it.

Nd yeah, there is usually a GD football game on. We are lucky it somehow got turned off during the meal.

Your FIL is a jerk. I would not put up with that shit. So the men just get to sit on their asses and be served?

The men need to be in the mix of chores - clearing, kitchen cleaning, wiping, garbage, etc. Your husband needs to redo the schedule, everyone involved wil cut the time in half too..

Anonymous wrote:Oh yeah, DH was supposed to help 'Susan'.

He clearly lost his 'man' card. LOL

I mean 'Betty'. Can't keep my aliases straight.

Oh yeah, DH was supposed to help 'Susan'.

He clearly lost his 'man' card. LOL

Anonymous wrote:What is your assignment? Could this possibly be a joke which is coming off poorly? What does your husband say?

Assignments were like this:

Open gifts.

Dinner:
Grandma makes lasagna
Betty makes salad.
Susan sets table.
Jane clears table.

Football.

PLEASE post that email (hide the names, of course).

That would be gold comedy material.