Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 11:25     Subject: Re:BIL asked for money for divorce lawyer
I would save the $1000 you are able to give until it can more directly be used to help your BIL's two minor children. Bc I expect that request will be next.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 09:16     Subject: Re:BIL asked for money for divorce lawyer
Not a divorce lawyer, but $4k doesn't sound too unreasonable based on his lack of assets and the PIA this divorce looks like it will be. A lot of factors go into what kind of retainer is requested, some of which are subjective.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 03:36     Subject: BIL asked for money for divorce lawyer
Mediation is expensive as hell. You have to pay the mediator up front , plus you pay your attorney who is there with you. He can file pro se, without a lawyer. Tell him to find legal aid to help if his company doesn't have an EAP program.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2014 22:02     Subject: Re:BIL asked for money for divorce lawyer
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but an average divorce lawyer doesnt ask for 4k upfront. Either he is lying, or he is getting duped, or he is getting a high priced lawyer that he doesnt need. They are already living separate and apart, so half the battle is done. Unless you have significant assets, divorces shouldnt cost that much. It mostly filing paperwork. He should hammer out a division of property, etc, visitation, get her to sign, then take that to a resonably priced attorney.


I don't think you have read all OP's posts. BIL believes wife will go after him for spousal support. So it is not just divvy up assets, file papers, and, boom, done.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2014 21:54     Subject: BIL asked for money for divorce lawyer
I used a reasonable attorney and the retainer was $5K. I received like $300 back and my D was straight forward. Just remind him if he goes the lawyer route, to not use the lawyer as s therapist. They charge for every minute of their time.
Anonymous
Post 12/10/2014 16:43     Subject: Re:BIL asked for money for divorce lawyer
Sorry, but an average divorce lawyer doesnt ask for 4k upfront. Either he is lying, or he is getting duped, or he is getting a high priced lawyer that he doesnt need. They are already living separate and apart, so half the battle is done. Unless you have significant assets, divorces shouldnt cost that much. It mostly filing paperwork. He should hammer out a division of property, etc, visitation, get her to sign, then take that to a resonably priced attorney.
Anonymous
Post 12/10/2014 13:52     Subject: Re:BIL asked for money for divorce lawyer
Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Mediation is a good idea. I think he thinks his wife has no incentive to go that route b/c he is paying her legal bills. Is that something he can insist they try first?

I don't know many details, but his lawyer believes that he will be asked to pay $2100/month in spousal support for 7 years and $1900/month in child support, until the oldest minor child turns 18, which is next year. He has a good job- I don't know what kind of salary someone makes who has to pay $4k/monthly in combined support. He's been trying to sell the house, which he estimates would bring $35k, but it hasn't sold in years and it's in a very depressed area of the country.


And add on top of that his own monthly expenses. I was the pp who said I would go ahead and give the $1,000 gift and say that was it. We have family members that will need financial aid probably for the rest of their lives. It would completely drain our savings to meet their needs and put our family's future well-being at risk. Only you and your DH can decide where to draw the line.