I'm crotchety and I'm not 53. Give your mom a break.

You say she has always been moody...but is her affect/behavior just an increase in what was always there, or is this a marked change? Was she always prone to some of this stuff but not as often? As we age, our traits are definitely exaggerated, but if what you're observing is new or unlike how she has always been then I would definitely read up on dementia or behavioral changes and aging.

Could her medication be making her irritable?

My mom isn't "crochety," exactly, but my dad definitely is, and both of them are just flat out ANGRY now that they are pushing 70. Think conspiracy theories, racism, ultra-right-wing doomsday prepper stuff (and I say this as a conservative myself, albeit a non-insane one). I just censor myself around them, and vent to DH or my siblings later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my 70 year old co-workers (male) is moving into this phase. I try to ignore it. For a 70 year old, he really is doing pretty well and he served our work well for a long time. But it is hard. He stops useful work by interupting and giving long harrangs about obvious stuff.

70 is hardly "old" but if work is getting interrupted by anyone HR should be alerted.

I work at a university. Our HR is as ineffective as the manager in Brazil (my hand... it has a cramp... can you sign for me?)

MIL was always somewhat crotchety, but she's getting increasingly worse. She was flat-out mean to our kids over Thanksgiving. I do think there is some early-stage dementia going on but both she and her husband would have an absolute fit if we suggested she go see a doctor.

If you could get her to, I would take your Mom to her PCP for a full checkup and alert the doctor ahead of time about the overall changes in her behavior. The doctor could easily do a general screen for depression and other aging related issues. Ahead of time you might ask if the doctor could refer to a geriatric specialist if he felt it was necessary. Of course, the issue would become whether your Mother would do so or not. It also seems to be the time to talk to your Mom to see if she has legal instruments of health directive, power of attorney, will etc. in place to give you (and or other siblings and if any involve them, too, to be sure all are on the same page) the ability to help her as she does age.

Is there any chance you could have your Mom visit your home overnight or suggest an overnight outing where you could get to observe her 24/7 for a day or so to get a better overall picture o how she is? Some elderly do much better at the start of the day and really become agitated as night draws on. If she is not sleeping, then this could lead to depression and a disconnect in her typical daily routine of eating. Even a lack of regular hydration in the elderly can lead to confusion etc. My final thought is that she may just be lonely, too, so is there a program through a church, a senior center or other community group that she used to go to or one focused on the elderly that she could be connected to. If you truly become concern in the future and she will not listen to you or a sibling, then contact local Office of Aging and request an in-home evaluation or Social Services Department. And you might also do some research in terms of her finances to see if she might in the future be able to afford some in-home assistance and/or what a local assisted living care center might cost. Also just see if there is any Meals on Wheels program or friendly call or visitor program in her area .

Anonymous wrote:One of my 70 year old co-workers (male) is moving into this phase. I try to ignore it. For a 70 year old, he really is doing pretty well and he served our work well for a long time. But it is hard. He stops useful work by interupting and giving long harrangs about obvious stuff.

70 is hardly "old" but if work is getting interrupted by anyone HR should be alerted.