Someone broke up with me, after a year and half, in an email and would not talk to me after that. One of the most devastating moments of my life. Please give him the opportunity to ask questions and to understand your reasons.

For crying out loud, eight months is a long time to give to someone. Considering multiple intimacies, he deserves a conversation.

as long as you do it, I don't think it matters how.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im in my twenties, so maybe a minority here, but i prefer text. I dont need to meet you for your to break up with me and i dont want to reveal my emotions.

You're one cold bitch.

No, she (and the rest of the people who advocate email, text - NON-INTERACTIVE - methods) are just cowards. That's what it's really about - avoiding a situation where the dumpee might say something back. Doing it by phone is lame too, but at least you're showing the dumpee that they deserve the respect of a conversation with you. Dumping someone by doing the slow fade, or by written word (text, smail mail, email), or worst of all just disappearing, so they can't react to you (or can't react where you can see it) is just a way of protecting yourself from feeling bad about hurting someone. Be an adult, not a baby and face up to the reality that having relationships involves hurting and being hurt. Yes, it's harder work, because you have to make a big effort to figure out how to do it with as little pain as possible, but then, maybe that's the right, respectful and honorable thing to do?

Disappearing is acceptable after one date.

The slow fade, a text or an email are acceptable for up to three dates.

Three dates and up, at the minimum a phone call. Doesn't have to be in depth or lengthy, but you owe them a conversation

I did it over text like a moron and regret it. He was not a phone person so my options were in person. Anyway do not do the fade out thing. I think that is the worst. Give him closure. Fade ohta are so rude.

Anonymous wrote:Im in my twenties, so maybe a minority here, but i prefer text. I dont need to meet you for your to break up with me and i dont want to reveal my emotions.

You're one cold bitch.

Wow. I could have written this exactly, down to the amount of time dating.

OP, I broke up with my ex about 4 times- he always begged to get back together-- before the final straw. It just happened. I got very upset and was crying and he didn't pay attention, and I just said "I can't do this anymore." We talked some but I was firm.

I wouldn't recomend that, but I would do it in person. Eight months is a bit long for a technology break up.

You owe him a face to face break up. There are very few circumstances in which it is appropriate to break up over text or email. If he is dangerous or abusive, you should use text or email. Otherwise, I am sorry but you need to face this person and show the relationship and him some respect and care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't tell him he's a great guy, either. Your actions would clearly contradict your words. If he was really that great, you wouldn't be breaking up with him.

Respectfully disagree with this. I'm in almost the exact same situation to OP, the only difference is my guy is not critical. He really is a great person, friend, etc...just emotionally unavailable which doesn't make a great partner. If he wasn't so great, I wouldn't have stuck around this long.

OP... I can empathize with you. It's funny how you can be more lonely with the wrong person than being alone. I think it depends on the guy. If he is emotionally unavailable, the break up may not upset him too much and a call would be ok. I've been considering this too. On the other hand, I'd hate if someone did that to me so probably would do it in person.

Good luck.

+1 I agree. Someone can be a 'great guy', just not great for you.

I am old school, but can not imagine breaking up with someone via text...phone is bad enough -- that would be ok maybe in the first month or two. Of course, if it is a LD relationship, that changes the rules

You can always do it "Joe Jonas" style and do the 3-second phone call thingy......

Since you haven't declared your love for each other nor do you seem to see each other that often, I say it is perfectly acceptable to do it over text message, Facebook message, E-mail, Skype, IM, etc.

We have so many different forms of communication these days, take your pick.

If you are like me and hate HATE doing things face-to-face, then the best way would be to send him a message.

Good luck.

I am in my 40s and say via text. If he is as you say, he really won't care too much how you tell him or that you are breaking up with him

Anonymous wrote:Don't tell him he's a great guy, either. Your actions would clearly contradict your words. If he was really that great, you wouldn't be breaking up with him.

Respectfully disagree with this. I'm in almost the exact same situation to OP, the only difference is my guy is not critical. He really is a great person, friend, etc...just emotionally unavailable which doesn't make a great partner. If he wasn't so great, I wouldn't have stuck around this long.

OP... I can empathize with you. It's funny how you can be more lonely with the wrong person than being alone. I think it depends on the guy. If he is emotionally unavailable, the break up may not upset him too much and a call would be ok. I've been considering this too. On the other hand, I'd hate if someone did that to me so probably would do it in person.

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:Im in my twenties, so maybe a minority here, but i prefer text. I dont need to meet you for your to break up with me and i dont want to reveal my emotions.

In my twenties and I'm the same. Preferably a nice, long, elaborate text or a nice long email.