I moved to DC from CA for love. In way less stable-looking circumstances than yours. Met a guy on my first ever visit to DC while Iwas in grad school. We fell in love by letters and over the phone. He visited me twice in CA, I visited him twice in DC. And then I up and moved across the country and in with him.

At the beginning, it was sort of awful. I was unemployed for three months and just explored the city on foot. I then got a terrible job. Boyfriend had anxiety issues.

But: I never really doubted that he was the one for me. I got a better job, we got married, we bought a house and had two heartstoppingly wonderful kids. I miss CA and my parents but DC is home now because that's where we had our kids. Totally happy.

OP, you only live once. I'm 42 now and there have been some opportunities that I've missed because I was worried about leaving family, friends behind. DC is very different than San Diego. But DC also has a lot to offer. Personally, I say go for it. It's not like you can't go back. And I'm sure while you're here you'll still pursue the same career. So you're not exactly taking time out from your career. Go with your gut! Nobody here can tell you what to do. But if I were you I would give it a go. You can always go back.

My now-husband did this for me, although from a closer city than San Diego. We weren't engaged. He continued to work at his old job in our old city for a few months until he found a job in DC.

Just make sure you are moving for love, and not for marriage. There are no guarantees.

I appreciate all the feedback. It's great hearing all the success stories.

I've never been out to DC before, neither has my bf, who is also a California native. We will both be fish out of water. But he's moved across states for work and has weathered through it. While I have visited Boston, NYC and NJ before, I've never lived anywhere outside of San Diego. I've never experienced a cold winter, in fact I've only seen snow twice in my life. I am worried how I'll make it in a new city, especially when it's 2600 miles away from my family and friends. I'll have no support system. While here, I see my family once a week. My bf also warned me he will be working longer hours and won't be around as much as he is now.

At the same time, I'm also itching for a new environment, having lived out here my whole life. It would be nice to make a fresh start, and explore an entirely different city with someone. We both agree we don't want to do long-distance, so that's out of the question. I have my heart already set on moving out there, but there is 5% of me that is just a little apprehensive... a little realistic. The main thing though is I feel like my life is better with him in it, than staying in San Diego without him. It's beautiful out here - I live a few blocks from the beach, but I heard DC is beautiful too. We have horrible traffic here, it's becoming just as bad as LA traffic, the summers can reach 103 F, everything is expensive, and dating here pretty much sucks. I really lucked out with my bf, although it took a while to find him. I was single for two years, and watched all my friends marry and have kids. I don't want to lose a great catch.

I moved countries with ex. At the time, it felt like the right decision. We were both newly married, new adventure, etc. It was super difficult. DC is a wonderful place but also pretentious and full of know it all resumes. Be prepared for that. And the cold. And a terrible transportation system. My most important piece of advice to you is if you do move here, you immediately work on building a life for you, as if you weren't with him. Because i ended up taking on my ex's friends, life, likes, etc. And when we were over, so was every other aspect of my life, and I had no one around from my past life to help or pick up the pieces. I had to build new again. So build your own life. And have him compliment it.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't leave without being engaged, at least.

+1

No. Dc sucks if you're used to CA. people can't drive, traffic is worse than the 5 at rush hour, and it snows.

I did this. I was 27 at the time and we had been dating a little over a year. I insisted on a commitment prior to coming since I would be leaving my job, friends, family... it happened too soon in retrospect. It was a lot to get engaged, move across country, move in together, and take new jobs all around the same time. When things got tough I couldnt help but resent him for having me move here and take a worse job than I had and had little friends and no family. Things are fine now, we got married last year and we've settled in. But boy was it rough few months when we got here. I'm not sure there was another option though- long distance relationships suck.

Anonymous wrote:We have been dating for 14 months. We are not engaged, but we have talked about marriage and about moving in together. We both want to live together first before getting married, be good to test the waters first. I don't have a job lined up, but I have money saved away to support me for about 4-6 months in case I'm not able to find work right away.

Can you take some time off of work and see if you like living there with your bf? That is a drastic change in many ways and it would be good to have a trial period that doesn't require that you quit your job and give up your living situation.

I'd do it for the adventure. If you've lived in San Diego all your life, it'd be fun to live elsewhere for a while, even if the relationship doesn't work out at the end.

I moved for love, but I was 20. It was crazy, we had only been dating 3 months and I had to make the decision pretty quickly. I knew we had something special though and didn't want to have any regrets. Turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. We are now married and he's my best friend, we have such a great life together. It scares me to think about what I would have missed out on had I made a different decision.

Anonymous wrote:We have been dating for 14 months. We are not engaged, but we have talked about marriage and about moving in together. We both want to live together first before getting married, be good to test the waters first. I don't have a job lined up, but I have money saved away to support me for about 4-6 months in case I'm not able to find work right away.

4-6 months? Not enough. Also, I wouldn't move across the country for someone I've only known for 14 months, which is like the blink of an eye.

Sall good, if it doesn't work out, you'll be like so many others here who moved for love, only to have it not work out. Then you and I can date.

I would wait and move to DC in the spring. Enjoy one more mild winter while you can.

Have you ever been to DC? The east coast? Lived out here? Spent significant time out here? Weathered a winter? All those things can really cause you to regret a decision if things are not perfect right away or sustainably...and they never att. You are still in the honeymoon period. An Diego is.warm, fun, beautiful, and your whole network is there. DC is cold, faster, filled with lots of egos, and not really beautiful nature-wise. Make sure he can make up for a whole lot of homesick while you acclimate.