I live close to downtown Bethesda after living for many years in Paris and other European cities. Americans in general have a very casual sense of style, and Bethesda is no exception.

Fashion sense starts with knowing what cut of clothes will fit you, and what colors will enhance your skin tone. It also has everything to do with healthy skin and looking bright and cheerful. Real fashion is also not about fitting in against all odds, but expressing your personality through your clothes. Be well-dressed with a hint of originality. If you buy the common denominator, you will look common.

So the most important things have nothing to do with following trends. Figure out what shape you have. Show off one nice part of your body (legs with shorter skirts or leggings, waist with cinched clothing and coats, etc) and dress for the weather. You will appear to be fashionable if the clothes fit you well!

Brands are important because usually expensive and better made clothes last much longer and have more flair, so it makes sense to invest. But you don't need clothes with logos to look fashionable to others, quite the opposite.

Personally, on a middle class budget, I have found nice pieces from Anthropologie, Boden and J Crew (from most original to most conservative). Be careful with Anthro, they carry several brands that don't have the same sizing or quality. I don't like puffy coats and prefer wool duffels, but again, chose what makes you happy! For winter, a slim elegant ankle boot will go with everything. Mine are from Mephisto.

If your going to only buy one new coat, get black. That is neutral enough to go with everything. Even old navy has them on sale now, so no need to spend a fortune. You can always get a fun scarf and gloves.

Handbag, get black for now ( another neutral ) leather. Think classic to start and add a few trendy pieces later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it has to be North Face, sorry.

This is true. Otherwise, you'll be made fun of.

Go to Macy's or another department store with a style consultant and let them help you find your own style. Who's cares what other people are wearing? Find the stuff that makes you look good and embrace it. Don't be a Stepford wife!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the one thing all private school moms have?

Great skin? A good workout routine?

A nanny.

Op, I've done the same thing, but I bucked the trend and purchased a winter white nf puffer coat. I'm crazy like that.

maybe she is a teen mom?

Anonymous wrote:I am one, but since having kids I haven't invested much time/effort/money into my own wardrobe, in part because I put on some weight that I'm still desperately hoping to shed. I also work FT so I tend not to worry about off-work clothes. But I need to buy a few basics - a winter coat, for starters, and some boots and a bag of some sort - and it seems like the easiest thing to do would be to go with the same sorts of things that everyone around me is wearing. I'm neurotic but I do sometimes feel like an outsider here and maybe trading in my junky, 10 year old stuff might make me feel like I'm one of the gang even if I'm not.

So school me please: if I get one of those black 3/4 length puffer coats that EVERYONE has, does it have to be North Face? Any other good brands - I usually shop at discount places and see a lot of similar type coats but not NF? What about a practical brand like LL Bean? What about color - does anyone have a nice jacket like this that is not black?

I'm also trying to figure out the bag and boots thing. I currently use a god-awful cheap small pocketbook from Target. I need something a bit bigger and at least not super ugly. I like the idea of those Longchamp tote bags but wonder if they're comfortable? I usually buy bags with one strap rather than 2 just to keep them slipping off my shoulder. Is there some other bag that is basic, flexible and not outrageously expensive?

Re: puffer coat. No, it does not have to be North Face. Nor does it have to be black. I have puffers from LL Bean and Eddie Bauer. Cheaper and just as good.

I have the large Longchamp tote. It's OK because it can get wet or dirty and it's fairly easy to clean. It does tend to slip off my shoulder unless it's full. You might prefer a decent-size crossbody. You should check out TJ Maxx and Marshalls. They have a lot of nice bags marked down.

Anonymous wrote:Can anybody post a link to this black North Face puffer coat? My curiosity is killing me.

I don't know....I'm a Potomac mom and I never see any Mom's in that.

Can anybody post a link to this black North Face puffer coat? My curiosity is killing me.

Are you looking at Bethesda moms or teens? Because I live in Bethesda and don't see anyone wearing puffer coats. If you are overweight I'd strongly discourage it. Same with longchamp bags -I really don't see moms carrying those but my DD has 2.

My go to coat for casual is a Barbour jacket. Its wind proof and has a quilted lining. It's warm enough for all but the sub 10 degree days. I wear my ski jacket those days.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a depressing thread, OP. Can't you just upgrade by deciding to spend some money on what you like, not what all the other moms are wearing? Is this high school?

My thought as well. I say this not to be snarky, but in complete honesty - I did not know adults still thought this way. Even my college kids are past the idea that they must look like all of their friends in order to be accepted.

Buy what looks good on you and what you can afford.

I'm guessing OP doesn't have a good sense of her own style, so she's going for a certain look she's seen on other people?

I don't really see anything wrong with that. As a new private school mom, I bought a few key items that look like other moms. I caved and bought the one thing they all have and now get lots of compliments. I am not a fashion designer

Wow. I am having a hard time believing these posts are real. I mean, if I see a woman with an item I like and it looks really good on her, I might buy it if I see it in the store, and I'll do that with people I see everywhere, but going out and purposefully buying things to look like other moms? ??? Seriously, that is so middle school I can't get over it.

Conformity is everywhere. I noticed in 2012 election that BOTH candidates went for the black North Face jacket. May be out of style by now ....

People around here dress amazingly all the same. You see the same "look" over and over.

Anonymous wrote:What's the one thing all private school moms have?

A Range Rover or Mercedes SUV.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the one thing all private school moms have?

I hope this is a joke

Im mostly kidding. I'm the PP - my kid is a toddler, but I was trying to think of one specific thing that all private school moms would have that wouldn't be super weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a depressing thread, OP. Can't you just upgrade by deciding to spend some money on what you like, not what all the other moms are wearing? Is this high school?

My thought as well. I say this not to be snarky, but in complete honesty - I did not know adults still thought this way. Even my college kids are past the idea that they must look like all of their friends in order to be accepted.

Buy what looks good on you and what you can afford.

I'm guessing OP doesn't have a good sense of her own style, so she's going for a certain look she's seen on other people?

I don't really see anything wrong with that. As a new private school mom, I bought a few key items that look like other moms. I caved and bought the one thing they all have and now get lots of compliments. I am not a fashion designer

Wow. I am having a hard time believing these posts are real. I mean, if I see a woman with an item I like and it looks really good on her, I might buy it if I see it in the store, and I'll do that with people I see everywhere, but going out and purposefully buying things to look like other moms? ??? Seriously, that is so middle school I can't get over it.

Man, this thread makes me love my neighborhood and community even more. My neighbors and other school moms couldn't care less about everyone else's style.