Anonymous wrote:There is no way this is real. You are in your 30s and your mother controls your finances, phone, and clothing? Most people cut those ties when they are 18. This is so far beyond normal I really hope it's a troll. Do you ever want to get married and have a family? I cannot fathom anyone willing to put up with this level of MIL involvement.

On the off chance this is real - move your money to an account that she has no access to and get your own phone. Wear what you want and stop going home all the time! She can only control you because you let her.

+1000 And you will probably drop the extra weight anyway just by getting yourself freed from the anxiety of your controlling mother.

I am a white American. I went to a therapist with my mother when I was 18 because I couldn't take the pressure of my mom hating everything about me. In her eyes I don't even breath right ( she yells at me about the way I breath ) the terspist told me she has never met someone as controlling as my mother. Couldn't believe at 18 how I couldn't pick my clothes, or food or even have an opinion about music or movies. ( I get asked what I like to do, my tastes on things my response has always been nothing ) I feel as if I almost don't exist as a person .

I did move to dc after I talked to the therapist my mother has hated that choice more then any other. I do have my own bank account but my pay checks go into an account I share with her as it was set up when I was a baby. It's a way for her to make sure I don't spend any of my paychecks. I happen to agree with her on that as I feel strongly as to not spend any money, I'm a super saver just like her.

The level of control is extreme, I just hate to upset her and now that I'm in her house for another 2 weeks it is becoming difficult.

Is your name Amanda Bynes?

There is no way this is real. You are in your 30s and your mother controls your finances, phone, and clothing? Most people cut those ties when they are 18. This is so far beyond normal I really hope it's a troll. Do you ever want to get married and have a family? I cannot fathom anyone willing to put up with this level of MIL involvement.

On the off chance this is real - move your money to an account that she has no access to and get your own phone. Wear what you want and stop going home all the time! She can only control you because you let her.

OP, I get the feeling that you and your family come from a culture where women do not typically live and work independently. In some cultures, women cannot have their own bank accounts or live on their own.

You are old enough to open your own bank account and transfer all the money that is yours into the new account. Every penny of what you earned is yours to keep. If you owe your mother any money, you can leave that in the old account. You do not need to do everything that your mother tells you to do, especially if you don't want to.

Are you Indian?

Troll.

OP, if you are real, why on earth are you letting her control your money? Open a new account on Monday and transfer all of your money there. Deposit your checks into a new account. Stop flying home every time you have time off work. Why are you living your mother's life rather than your own?

To answer your question, no, I don't still get "in trouble". You are in a sick, sick relationship with your mother and you need to stop choosing this for yourself.

This thread is too odd to be real.
OP - if indeed your mother has control over your wardrobe, your phone, and your bank account, you have pretty big issues.
The remedy to these issues cannot be found on this board.
Find a therapist, quickly, who will help you take control of your own life.
I just cannot believe this is real.

Get your own bank account. Move your obey so only you can access it etc. you're 30 and you live in a different state, be an adult, make your own decisions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I'm financially independent. My mother doesn't let me spend any of my salary. I have hundreds of thousands saved. I live very frugally. I live off of side jobs I have and bank my actual paychecks.

She knows what I wear when I see her. I fly home for the holidays and when I have time off from work. Normally she only complains about my clothes when we go out in public together.

How does she do that? Does she have access to your bank accounts? You are an adult and should not have your mother telling you what to do. Maybe you should stop letting her know all the details in your life.

The pay checks from my normal job get direct deposited into a bank account that I don't have access to when I'm at home working. The bank is only in the state my mother lives in. And yes she is on the account. I also have a lot of money tied up in cd's that I don't have access to for anotyer 20 years.

I assume you know you can change that? Open your own account and move the money. I assume you know this isn't normal?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I'm financially independent. My mother doesn't let me spend any of my salary. I have hundreds of thousands saved. I live very frugally. I live off of side jobs I have and bank my actual paychecks.

She knows what I wear when I see her. I fly home for the holidays and when I have time off from work. Normally she only complains about my clothes when we go out in public together.

How does she do that? Does she have access to your bank accounts? You are an adult and should not have your mother telling you what to do. Maybe you should stop letting her know all the details in your life.

The pay checks from my normal job get direct deposited into a bank account that I don't have access to when I'm at home working. The bank is only in the state my mother lives in. And yes she is on the account. I also have a lot of money tied up in cd's that I don't have access to for anotyer 20 years.

Anonymous wrote:Yes I'm financially independent. My mother doesn't let me spend any of my salary. I have hundreds of thousands saved. I live very frugally. I live off of side jobs I have and bank my actual paychecks.

She knows what I wear when I see her. I fly home for the holidays and when I have time off from work. Normally she only complains about my clothes when we go out in public together.

How does she do that? Does she have access to your bank accounts? You are an adult and should not have your mother telling you what to do. Maybe you should stop letting her know all the details in your life.

Anonymous wrote:^^ Also wondered how your mom knows what clothes you have and what you'll be wearing since you live far away from her.

She knows what I'm wearing because I'm at her house right now. I've had some time off of work.

Yes I'm financially independent. My mother doesn't let me spend any of my salary. I have hundreds of thousands saved. I live very frugally. I live off of side jobs I have and bank my actual paychecks.

She knows what I wear when I see her. I fly home for the holidays and when I have time off from work. Normally she only complains about my clothes when we go out in public together.