Anonymous wrote:OP here: my husband has thus far refused to go to a doctor because "he doesn't have sleep apnea and they're just going to recommend an expensive painful surgery that is only moderately effective." I've been trying to be patient while he futzes around with new pillows and his allergy meds, and most nights we end up in separate beds, which kind of breaks my heart. The baby also really complicates things.

I'm tempted to find an ENT or someone and go myself just so I can ask the questions he won't.

This was my husband's excuse, too. He won't go to a doctor because "what they do for snoring is horrible, and I won't let them do that to me." I told him that going to 1 appointment wasn't a commitment to do anything, that nobody is going to force a procedure on him. I told him it would mean a lot to me if he just go see what a doctor has to say. Still refused. I was really disappointed that my well being meant so little to him. It still hurts and we've definitely grown apart because of this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who sleep in separate rooms, is that okay with your husbands? Mine is opposed.

Why should anyone suffer for the sake of being close together while sleeping, or trying to sleep? You can still have sex any other time.

It's not the sex. He just wants to be together in the same bed. I get it, but I'm not the snorer here.

There's more to intimacy than just sex. I know so many of you say that leaving the marital bed doesn't make a difference in your relationship but it most certainly would with me.

Fair enough. I don't feel closeness to anything or anyone while I'm dead asleep (and I certainly wouldn't feel so intimate and good-natured if I'm kept awake by snoring).

Anonymous wrote:OP here: my husband has thus far refused to go to a doctor because "he doesn't have sleep apnea and they're just going to recommend an expensive painful surgery that is only moderately effective." I've been trying to be patient while he futzes around with new pillows and his allergy meds, and most nights we end up in separate beds, which kind of breaks my heart. The baby also really complicates things.

I'm tempted to find an ENT or someone and go myself just so I can ask the questions he won't.

He needs to pull the big kid pants on and start thinking of you rather than just himself. Tell him to stop being selfish and start understanding that you aren't sleeping. Then have him take care of all baby wake-ups at night so he has a feeling for what it means to not sleep regularly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who sleep in separate rooms, is that okay with your husbands? Mine is opposed.

Why should anyone suffer for the sake of being close together while sleeping, or trying to sleep? You can still have sex any other time.

It's not the sex. He just wants to be together in the same bed. I get it, but I'm not the snorer here.

If he's not okay, then he needs to fix the snoring. Period.

OP here: my husband has thus far refused to go to a doctor because "he doesn't have sleep apnea and they're just going to recommend an expensive painful surgery that is only moderately effective." I've been trying to be patient while he futzes around with new pillows and his allergy meds, and most nights we end up in separate beds, which kind of breaks my heart. The baby also really complicates things.

I'm tempted to find an ENT or someone and go myself just so I can ask the questions he won't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who sleep in separate rooms, is that okay with your husbands? Mine is opposed.

Why should anyone suffer for the sake of being close together while sleeping, or trying to sleep? You can still have sex any other time.

It's not the sex. He just wants to be together in the same bed. I get it, but I'm not the snorer here.

There's more to intimacy than just sex. I know so many of you say that leaving the marital bed doesn't make a difference in your relationship but it most certainly would with me.

Well, that's why I'm asking the posters who've said this works out for them. My husband really feels strongly about this.

Sleep deprivation is torture. Your marriage vows do not include consenting to torture, no matter how strongly your husband feels about it! Let me tell you, our marital intimacy is not helped by a sleep deprived me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who sleep in separate rooms, is that okay with your husbands? Mine is opposed.

Why should anyone suffer for the sake of being close together while sleeping, or trying to sleep? You can still have sex any other time.

It's not the sex. He just wants to be together in the same bed. I get it, but I'm not the snorer here.

There's more to intimacy than just sex. I know so many of you say that leaving the marital bed doesn't make a difference in your relationship but it most certainly would with me.

Well, that's why I'm asking the posters who've said this works out for them. My husband really feels strongly about this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who sleep in separate rooms, is that okay with your husbands? Mine is opposed.

Why should anyone suffer for the sake of being close together while sleeping, or trying to sleep? You can still have sex any other time.

It's not the sex. He just wants to be together in the same bed. I get it, but I'm not the snorer here.

There's more to intimacy than just sex. I know so many of you say that leaving the marital bed doesn't make a difference in your relationship but it most certainly would with me.

Anonymous wrote:My DH pouts when I sleep in the other room, but I think it's a combination of him missing me and being on all night kid duty alone. Not sure which he likes least.

I can usually fall asleep before him or have him roll over so his snoring will stop. If not, I would rather deal with pouting than miss sleep because he is snoring. I have a hard time not being angry with him when he disturbs my sleep, even when it's not his fault, so I think sleeping in the other room is preferable to me being a grouch to DH.

Maybe you should switch off who sleeps in the other room, so you can share kid duty.

Anonymous



Sleep study and CPAP. My husband did not realize it and the doctor asked and I told the doc I can't take it anymore. He was borderline for a CPAP but they gave him one and I think it is one of the best inventions ever. I had to schedule the sleep study or my husband would not have gone.

This get a cpac.

Snoring wife here -

We've had increasing dfficulty with my snoring. Sometimes one of use will resort to sleeping in the guest room although it's not our preference. My dentist uses oral mouthpieces to correct snoring. He basically said that if the jaw is adjusted slightly forward, it creates a larger airway and corrects the snoring. He suggests using it instead of a CPAP machine. It was pricey, so we have not done it yet. I think the real solution for me is to lose weight.

Here's the link to information page about snoring and the dental mouthpiece. http://richfischer.wordpress.com/links/sleep-apnea/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who sleep in separate rooms, is that okay with your husbands? Mine is opposed.

Why should anyone suffer for the sake of being close together while sleeping, or trying to sleep? You can still have sex any other time.

It's not the sex. He just wants to be together in the same bed. I get it, but I'm not the snorer here.

I poke my husband and he turns over. Now I'm pregnant and apparently snoring and from what he says, giving him a dose of his own medicine.

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who sleep in separate rooms, is that okay with your husbands? Mine is opposed.

We always start out in bed together to chat, have sex, snuggle. Many nights I'll end up staying all night or until he wakes me up. Neither of us are big nighttime snugglers - both like our own side of the bed anyway. Whoever wakes up first will usually go and get in bed with the other. So it works out ok for us! We both were opposed to separate rooms for so long, but then once we had kids and were waking up with them it seemed like a requirement for either of us to get a good night's sleep (which we both seem to really need in order to be happy people).

Sleep study and CPAP. My husband did not realize it and the doctor asked and I told the doc I can't take it anymore. He was borderline for a CPAP but they gave him one and I think it is one of the best inventions ever. I had to schedule the sleep study or my husband would not have gone.