If this were literally the first exhibition of violence or anger and it came out of the blue without warning, that would be cause to possibly give him another chance and to treat it as uncharacteristic.

In this case, this is a markedly escalating situation. You say that it was already an emotionally abusive relationship, which means that there have been issues of emotional abuse, insults or character degradation, and it has finally escalated to physical violence. In this case, it is characteristic of the abuser and is cause to leave and protect yourself and your children. THere is a pattern that has developed and as many, many victims can tell you, it will continue to escalate. There are very few (possibly none or next-to-none) cases of escalating behavior that either stops or recedes on its own without some intervention or professional help. Unless you can see some outside force or agency setting up that intervention or enlisting professional help, you can assume that the escalation will continue and sooner or later, there will be another physical incident, possible more severe. Yes, he may be contrite, but he'll still do it. Don't let him.

If there is ever any question about whether it is an unexpected, isolated example or an escalating situation, you should trust your instincts. If your instincts tell you to get away, produce fear, produce anxiety, then you need to trust your instincts and get away first. You can always reevaluate later (I recommend only doing so with professional help that tells you that there is reason to reconsider), but leave first and protect yourself and children first.

Anonymous wrote:I recently left an emotionally abusive relationship after my H punched me in the leg (because he was sitting and I was standing when it happened my leg was directly aligned with his eyes/fist.) I have been asked from several people, most recently my SIL, "just in the leg?" As if being punched in this part of my body were less serious than other parts. I too sometimes wonder if it's abuse LIGHT, but then remind myself that a punch is a punch and abuse light is still abuse.
But I'd really like to know what people think.

You were a smart woman to get out right away. It may have been "abuse light" at that stage but it would have turned "abuse-with-you-in-a-coffin" in time if you had stayed. Kudos to you. Screw whatever the naysayer say.

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who thinks this is ridiculous. If you left me over a punch to your leg I would find you and make you pay.

You can't be a) serious and b) emotionally healthy. If a then not b; if b then not a.

Are you the same woman who got mad at her husband bc he slapped her leg when she used her leg to push him out of the way of putting their child to bed?

Abuse escalates. It would have gotten worse and you did the right thing. Your SIL is misguided. Best of luck to you.

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who thinks this is ridiculous. If you left me over a punch to your leg I would find you and make you pay.

Make you "pay" for leaving? Because she's your property?

Anonymous wrote:A person forms a fist with their hand, pulls back and thrust forward strongly with that fist in order to cause harm to another. The fist makes contact with another person's body - inflicting pain.

That's assault.

Assault by your husband is abuse.

Good for you for leaving before any more fists flew, anywhere near you.

+1