Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to do two things.

You need to talk to your child about mean girl behavior in general. Imitating people isn't nice. It isn't a matter of this child having DS. We don't mimic people. We don't talk about their behavior. We don't laugh at their conduct.

And you need to have a word with the teacher about how this child is being treated.

If you want to talk to your child about disability, I recommend saying something like "Your body is strong. Not everyone has a strong body like you. Some people use wheelchairs. Some people like Teddy have Down Syndrome. Some people are weak and need your help. What are some ways that you can be helpful to people who need your help?"

It's great that you're thinking of this, but please don't use "weak" in relation to people with disabilities and don't imply that people without visible disabilities are "strong." I would much rather take an "everyone is different" approach, without introducing terms of value and judgment.

I think that your point about weak is valid. But you are missing the point. The point is not that people with disabilities are weak and people without are strong. The point is to say that this kindergartner has a strong body. That kid. And to empower her to care for others and watch over them, not be mean. Also, I find the "everyone is different" approach to be confusing and demeaning to young children. They know that people with disabilities are not just "different" like blue eyed and brown eyed people. It's silly to pretend.

Okay. I'd just like to let you know that I have been a professional in this area for many years, including as a professor and a board member for disability rights organizations, and what you've written here is a good example of the kind of ignorance prejudice that the disability rights community finds troubling.

Thank you for this comment. I am floored by The discrimination and stigma that seems to underpin this advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to do two things.

You need to talk to your child about mean girl behavior in general. Imitating people isn't nice. It isn't a matter of this child having DS. We don't mimic people. We don't talk about their behavior. We don't laugh at their conduct.

And you need to have a word with the teacher about how this child is being treated.

If you want to talk to your child about disability, I recommend saying something like "Your body is strong. Not everyone has a strong body like you. Some people use wheelchairs. Some people like Teddy have Down Syndrome. Some people are weak and need your help. What are some ways that you can be helpful to people who need your help?"

It's great that you're thinking of this, but please don't use "weak" in relation to people with disabilities and don't imply that people without visible disabilities are "strong." I would much rather take an "everyone is different" approach, without introducing terms of value and judgment.

I think that your point about weak is valid. But you are missing the point. The point is not that people with disabilities are weak and people without are strong. The point is to say that this kindergartner has a strong body. That kid. And to empower her to care for others and watch over them, not be mean. Also, I find the "everyone is different" approach to be confusing and demeaning to young children. They know that people with disabilities are not just "different" like blue eyed and brown eyed people. It's silly to pretend.

Okay. I'd just like to let you know that I have been a professional in this area for many years, including as a professor and a board member for disability rights organizations, and what you've written here is a good example of the kind of ignorance prejudice that the disability rights community finds troubling.

Thank you for this comment. I am floored by The discrimination and stigma that seems to underpin this advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to do two things.

You need to talk to your child about mean girl behavior in general. Imitating people isn't nice. It isn't a matter of this child having DS. We don't mimic people. We don't talk about their behavior. We don't laugh at their conduct.

And you need to have a word with the teacher about how this child is being treated.

If you want to talk to your child about disability, I recommend saying something like "Your body is strong. Not everyone has a strong body like you. Some people use wheelchairs. Some people like Teddy have Down Syndrome. Some people are weak and need your help. What are some ways that you can be helpful to people who need your help?"

It's great that you're thinking of this, but please don't use "weak" in relation to people with disabilities and don't imply that people without visible disabilities are "strong." I would much rather take an "everyone is different" approach, without introducing terms of value and judgment.

I think that your point about weak is valid. But you are missing the point. The point is not that people with disabilities are weak and people without are strong. The point is to say that this kindergartner has a strong body. That kid. And to empower her to care for others and watch over them, not be mean. Also, I find the "everyone is different" approach to be confusing and demeaning to young children. They know that people with disabilities are not just "different" like blue eyed and brown eyed people. It's silly to pretend.

Okay. I'd just like to let you know that I have been a professional in this area for many years, including as a professor and a board member for disability rights organizations, and what you've written here is a good example of the kind of ignorance prejudice that the disability rights community finds troubling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to do two things.

You need to talk to your child about mean girl behavior in general. Imitating people isn't nice. It isn't a matter of this child having DS. We don't mimic people. We don't talk about their behavior. We don't laugh at their conduct.

And you need to have a word with the teacher about how this child is being treated.

If you want to talk to your child about disability, I recommend saying something like "Your body is strong. Not everyone has a strong body like you. Some people use wheelchairs. Some people like Teddy have Down Syndrome. Some people are weak and need your help. What are some ways that you can be helpful to people who need your help?"

It's great that you're thinking of this, but please don't use "weak" in relation to people with disabilities and don't imply that people without visible disabilities are "strong." I would much rather take an "everyone is different" approach, without introducing terms of value and judgment.

I think that your point about weak is valid. But you are missing the point. The point is not that people with disabilities are weak and people without are strong. The point is to say that this kindergartner has a strong body. That kid. And to empower her to care for others and watch over them, not be mean. Also, I find the "everyone is different" approach to be confusing and demeaning to young children. They know that people with disabilities are not just "different" like blue eyed and brown eyed people. It's silly to pretend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to do two things.

You need to talk to your child about mean girl behavior in general. Imitating people isn't nice. It isn't a matter of this child having DS. We don't mimic people. We don't talk about their behavior. We don't laugh at their conduct.

And you need to have a word with the teacher about how this child is being treated.

If you want to talk to your child about disability, I recommend saying something like "Your body is strong. Not everyone has a strong body like you. Some people use wheelchairs. Some people like Teddy have Down Syndrome. Some people are weak and need your help. What are some ways that you can be helpful to people who need your help?"

It's great that you're thinking of this, but please don't use "weak" in relation to people with disabilities and don't imply that people without visible disabilities are "strong." I would much rather take an "everyone is different" approach, without introducing terms of value and judgment.

I think that your point about weak is valid. But you are missing the point. The point is not that people with disabilities are weak and people without are strong. The point is to say that this kindergartner has a strong body. That kid. And to empower her to care for others and watch over them, not be mean. Also, I find the "everyone is different" approach to be confusing and demeaning to young children. They know that people with disabilities are not just "different" like blue eyed and brown eyed people. It's silly to pretend.

But if you're saying that this language is okay because it's specific to this case, that's no good either. DS isn't a physical disability, necessarily. The kid with DS doesn't necessarily have a "weak" body -- he just has a mind that learns things differently.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP - I do think that if this child with DS is the only child with a disability in the pre-K class that the teacher should have taken the lead in introducing through social stories and even appropriate level books which one can find in the local library about learning difference or "differing abilities" as is sometimes used with a wide variety of disabilities. Nowadays, one is apt to see students with mobility devices, visual impairments, hearing systems in the classroom. DS is different and children become aware earlier because the child with DS has different physical features as well as perhaps functioning as your child has aptly described 'like a 2 year old" in perhaps a class of 4 year olds. It is is about explaining differences in learning rates, but also that one with a disability is not so different from other children. Being kind to any person if not always understanding the differences is key.

OP here again, thanks for this. It's 'interesting' that DD herself has a noticeable unusual walking/running gait --- she's supposed to 'grow out of' but it likely to be noticeable for a couple more years but none of the kids seem to have noticed or commented on it at this point... (and DD doesn't seem aware of any issue) but I assume that will be coming soon.

I don't think the teacher has addressed it & I was surprised by that.

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to do two things.

You need to talk to your child about mean girl behavior in general. Imitating people isn't nice. It isn't a matter of this child having DS. We don't mimic people. We don't talk about their behavior. We don't laugh at their conduct.

And you need to have a word with the teacher about how this child is being treated.

If you want to talk to your child about disability, I recommend saying something like "Your body is strong. Not everyone has a strong body like you. Some people use wheelchairs. Some people like Teddy have Down Syndrome. Some people are weak and need your help. What are some ways that you can be helpful to people who need your help?"

Anonymous wrote:

OP - I do think that if this child with DS is the only child with a disability in the pre-K class that the teacher should have taken the lead in introducing through social stories and even appropriate level books which one can find in the local library about learning difference or "differing abilities" as is sometimes used with a wide variety of disabilities. Nowadays, one is apt to see students with mobility devices, visual impairments, hearing systems in the classroom. DS is different and children become aware earlier because the child with DS has different physical features as well as perhaps functioning as your child has aptly described 'like a 2 year old" in perhaps a class of 4 year olds. It is is about explaining differences in learning rates, but also that one with a disability is not so different from other children. Being kind to any person if not always understanding the differences is key.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I think it's more her being clueless and trying to understand differences and she is trying to process it. Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it and obviously want to raise a kind daughter. I talked with her about how people's bodies work different and how it can take classmate a little longer to learn things and to be respectful - and using the teachable moment that it's not nice to copy how other people act and how it would make her sad if people did that to her. I love the 'being a good friend' language & will reinforce that and the copying - and am going to raise it at teacher conference next week that it sounded like it was becoming a wider class issue.