I have one very picky eater and one who is fairly adventurous (and becoming more so every day). My picky eater was breastfed; his sister was formula-fed. The picky one also has food allergies, which I suspect may play a small role, and also has sensory issues. We think that he really only likes soft foods, unfortunately. Neither DH nor I are picky eaters by any means.

Trust me, it's very frustrating.

I am picky, but not nearly as picky as I was as a kid.

I dont really think its that big a deal. In most of the world, people eat a limited menu and often the same thing daily. Yet, here in the US (and primarily in the wealthy DC area), we insist a child should like every vegetable, fruit, grain, protein, etc. Why? Why do I need to like quinoa when I can eat rice? I like rice. I dont complain about it, yet if I refuse to eat bulgar, quinoa, or farro, suddenly I am a "picky eater". Its really insane.

Anonymous wrote:Well as a former picky eater I generally think people stress way too much over it. I'm not picky at all as an adult.

This. I also have identical twins and they were exposed to the same foods at the same times. Each has their own preferences - what they like and what they refuse to eat. I choose not to sweat it.

If the child doesn't have texture/psychological issues, then honestly, I think it is the parents. I was, and still am to a point, a picky eater. I do have some texture issues (keep the mushrooms away) but my parents absolutely catered to us when we were little, cooking WAY too many options. I cook one meal for our family, and DD has zero food issues. If she doesn't eat dinner, she normally ends up eating a big breakfast (which doesn't happen often at this point). She's had a variety of textures from a young age and doesn't seem to share my texture issues.

On the flip side, DH's mother also made something for everyone, and DH doesn't have any texture issues, not picky at all (if he doesn't have to cook it he will eat it). So maybe DD just inherited her non-pickiness from him? Either way, we're very lucky to have a child that will eat virtually anything.

Anonymous wrote:60% lazy parenting
40% actual physical or psychological issues with the child.

wrong.

90% genetic makeup.
10% other factors.

-- Mom of two good eaters, but I know I didn't have much to do with it.

At least in our house, pickiness seems to be mostly about asserting toddler opinions. Our daughter was a great eater, until one day she wasn't. She's five now and has welcomed back many formerly unacceptable foods.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well as a former picky eater I generally think people stress way too much over it. I'm not picky at all as an adult.

+1 on all of this. I was catered to too much as a kid. There's no picky eating in poor families, underdeveloped countries, etc.

I'm not a short-order cook. Our kids eat everything as a result.

I was a picky eater as a kid, and my parents didn't cater to it. I sometimes was forced to spend three hours sitting at my dinner place until I finished my food. My mother was absolutely not a short-order cook for me. I'm a picky adult.

Me too. Now, when my husband pressures my kids to eat it makes me sick to my stomach. It took a lot of discussions for him to finally accept my POV and back off, but I know he still thinks I'm ridiculously lax because I don't force them to eat the meal served (they don't get an alternate meal and have to wait for the next meal if they don't like what's served).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well as a former picky eater I generally think people stress way too much over it. I'm not picky at all as an adult.

+1 on all of this. I was catered to too much as a kid. There's no picky eating in poor families, underdeveloped countries, etc.

I'm not a short-order cook. Our kids eat everything as a result.

First, this is false.

Second, I'm not sure that "You'd eat this if you were literally starving" is the goal I'm going for. There are things I wouldn't eat unless I were extremely hungry, and I'm not a picky eater.

There are picky eaters across the entire economic spectrum. I take my daughter to Kennedy Krieger Feeding Clinic. Plenty of inner city folks there. Plenty of West Africans. Plenty of Asians. Plenty of WHATEVER.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:60% lazy parenting
40% actual physical or psychological issues with the child.

Said the parent of a non-picky eater.

And the parent of a child who sleeps through the night.

And the parent of a quiet, compliant child.

And the parent of a child with good grades.

And as for your child: Have you considered it might be luck rather than your fabulous parenting???

I think you missed my point.

60% of the picky eaters are the result of lazy parents
40% of the picky eaters were born that way

Not 60%/40%!of each child

No, I got your point. You feel that 60% of the time, it's the parent's fault when a child is picky -- out of 100 picky kids, 60 of them are the product of poor parenting.

And you have not gotten my point, which is that you need to stop wearing your ass for a hat.

Anonymous wrote:Heightened/overly sensitive - notices fine gradations of change in things like texture/taste sound.

temperament that doesn't like novelty - fearful of things being different.

usually kids are born with these traits but they can also be affected (both positively and negatively) by experiences.

For example, a kid who inherently just prefers that same cereal day afte day after day, if lovingly encourgaed, could be drawn to try slightly different tastes and textures and after 80 tries, the kid will accept the food as familiar.

If the child is routinely threatened and force fed foods he doesn't like or spanked if he refuses to eat them... the kid may go a different way.

I think this is right.

My first two kids are great eaters (as are DH and I) but my third is beyond picky. It is just part of who she is and while it can be influenced at the margins with good parenting, there isn't anything we can do that will substantially change her approach to food in the short or medium run. I am hoping she will enventually grow out of it. Meanwhile I try not to worry about it or get too focused on it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:60% lazy parenting
40% actual physical or psychological issues with the child.

Said the parent of a non-picky eater.

And the parent of a child who sleeps through the night.

And the parent of a quiet, compliant child.

And the parent of a child with good grades.

And as for your child: Have you considered it might be luck rather than your fabulous parenting???

I think you missed my point.

60% of the picky eaters are the result of lazy parents
40% of the picky eaters were born that way

Not 60%/40%!of each child

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:60% lazy parenting
40% actual physical or psychological issues with the child.

Said the parent of a non-picky eater.

And the parent of a child who sleeps through the night.

And the parent of a quiet, compliant child.

And the parent of a child with good grades.

And as for your child: Have you considered it might be luck rather than your fabulous parenting???

+ a million to all of this!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well as a former picky eater I generally think people stress way too much over it. I'm not picky at all as an adult.

+1 on all of this. I was catered to too much as a kid. There's no picky eating in poor families, underdeveloped countries, etc.

I'm not a short-order cook. Our kids eat everything as a result.

First, this is false.

Second, I'm not sure that "You'd eat this if you were literally starving" is the goal I'm going for. There are things I wouldn't eat unless I were extremely hungry, and I'm not a picky eater.

Anonymous wrote:60% lazy parenting
40% actual physical or psychological issues with the child.

Said the parent of a non-picky eater.

And the parent of a child who sleeps through the night.

And the parent of a quiet, compliant child.

And the parent of a child with good grades.

And as for your child: Have you considered it might be luck rather than your fabulous parenting???

PP, My DH was treated similarly and he is so picky. He even gags involuntarily when he sees someone eating some of the foods he was forced to choke down.