Anonymous
11/05/2014 14:06
Subject: Food problem with a picky adult moving in with us
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Picky eating is not a mental illness.
When it's taken to this extent it is. Leaving aside that what the Olive Garden and Red Lobster serve can barely be called food, stressing about changes to the menu at chain restaurants just isn't healthy.
Oh please. There are literally thousands of people who get freak out every year when the pumpkin spice latte comes and then goes at Starbucks, and none of them are going to be satisfied if I say to them "hey, no big deal, I can make you some coffee at home". I don't get the appeal, but I don't think they are mentally ill any more than this woman is for liking the particular scallops recipe that Red Lobster apparently uses.
Anonymous
11/05/2014 09:36
Subject: Re:Food problem with a picky adult moving in with us
Just have her make her own meals but sit down to eat with you. I doubt your kids will even notice, and any other approach is going to make your mom's life and your life miserable.
Anonymous
11/05/2014 09:27
Subject: Food problem with a picky adult moving in with us
Anonymous wrote:My mother lived with us and is also a picky eater. We made foods we knew she liked some nights, and some nights we just made whatever we wanted. She would eat what she liked, and if there was nothing in the meal she liked, she would make herself something else and eat on her own. She went to the grocery store on her own once week and we also purchased foods we knew she ate a lot. Honestly, it was much less of a big deal than I thought it would be-I find picky eating very annoying.
This. Sometimes you make something she likes, sometimes you don't. You ensure that the pantry contains foods she likes. You invite her to join you for dinner; if she doesn't want to eat what you're having, she can cook for herself.
Anonymous
11/04/2014 20:13
Subject: Food problem with a picky adult moving in with us
My mother lived with us and is also a picky eater. We made foods we knew she liked some nights, and some nights we just made whatever we wanted. She would eat what she liked, and if there was nothing in the meal she liked, she would make herself something else and eat on her own. She went to the grocery store on her own once week and we also purchased foods we knew she ate a lot. Honestly, it was much less of a big deal than I thought it would be-I find picky eating very annoying.
Anonymous
11/04/2014 20:05
Subject: Food problem with a picky adult moving in with us
How old/disabled is this woman?
I've lived with a 93 yr old who could take pretty good care of herself.
I've lived with a 93 yr old who could take pretty good care of herself.
Anonymous
11/04/2014 19:04
Subject: Food problem with a picky adult moving in with us
She is an adult, so she can purchase food for herself to eat at the house or she can join in. I would think it might build resentment if you have to cater to her.
Anonymous
11/04/2014 08:51
Subject: Re:Food problem with a picky adult moving in with us
My mother is an incredibly picky eater, and while she doesn't live with us, she comes for multiple multi-day visits each year. She cheerfully acknowledges her pickiness, and does her best not to let it rub on on DD. We eat dinner together, and she doesn't complain and will eat what she likes on the plate. I always will serve a simple green salad since she will eat that. Otherwise, she will quietly make herself something to eat after DD goes to bed. She agrees that it's important not to give DD the impression that I will be a short-order cook.
From my perspective, since she'll be living with you full-time, that's an element you need to address together.
From my perspective, since she'll be living with you full-time, that's an element you need to address together.
Anonymous
11/04/2014 07:54
Subject: Food problem with a picky adult moving in with us
She may have an eating disorder. They're surprisingly common among older women.
Anonymous
11/04/2014 07:50
Subject: Food problem with a picky adult moving in with us
This has a simple solution. Her meals can be prepared in bulk ahead of time. Freeze them in single meal portions and defrost at dinner time.
She can probably do this while you're at work.
She can probably do this while you're at work.
Anonymous
11/04/2014 01:33
Subject: Re:Food problem with a picky adult moving in with us
Anonymous wrote:She can't have been eating out every day for lunch and dinner at her two fave chains. She has to have things that she likes to eat at home.
If I were you, I'd have an honest, non-judgemental talk with her prior to her moving in. It sounds like she has very simple tastes, does not like to be "surprised" by any unexpected flavor, so my concern would be that even if you DO try to cook for her that she will not like what you prepare.
It sounds like from your description she has always been picky, sitting her down to a table of food she does not like, is going to be difficult and she is going through an enormous life change right now with the death of your father.
Make her separate food, she is not a picky three year old, she is your MOTHER, show some respect for what is an obvious lifelong trait. Honestly, she's been through enough right now, ease any initial tension that you can.
I agree with all of this except the last sentence. I think it's good to be understand about the issue, UP TO the point of actually cooking her one of the same four meals every night on top of what you're already making for your family. Who has the time? Obviously you can make her favorites sometimes, but for all the other nights, just explain to her that you understand she has her comfort food but since the rest of you can't limit yourselves like that, you've set her up with a great new rice cooker! And here's are the cod fillets in the freezer, just for her. One concession I'd probably make is that when I made potatoes, I made them her way. She sounds like a great mom and we all have our quirks, but hopefully she'll take it in stride that sometimes she'll be on the hook for her own food prep if she's that picky.
Anonymous
11/04/2014 00:24
Subject: Re:Food problem with a picky adult moving in with us
She can't have been eating out every day for lunch and dinner at her two fave chains. She has to have things that she likes to eat at home.
If I were you, I'd have an honest, non-judgemental talk with her prior to her moving in. It sounds like she has very simple tastes, does not like to be "surprised" by any unexpected flavor, so my concern would be that even if you DO try to cook for her that she will not like what you prepare.
It sounds like from your description she has always been picky, sitting her down to a table of food she does not like, is going to be difficult and she is going through an enormous life change right now with the death of your father.
Make her separate food, she is not a picky three year old, she is your MOTHER, show some respect for what is an obvious lifelong trait. Honestly, she's been through enough right now, ease any initial tension that you can.
If I were you, I'd have an honest, non-judgemental talk with her prior to her moving in. It sounds like she has very simple tastes, does not like to be "surprised" by any unexpected flavor, so my concern would be that even if you DO try to cook for her that she will not like what you prepare.
It sounds like from your description she has always been picky, sitting her down to a table of food she does not like, is going to be difficult and she is going through an enormous life change right now with the death of your father.
Make her separate food, she is not a picky three year old, she is your MOTHER, show some respect for what is an obvious lifelong trait. Honestly, she's been through enough right now, ease any initial tension that you can.
Anonymous
11/03/2014 21:59
Subject: Re:Food problem with a picky adult moving in with us
I agree. She can cook for herself if she's that picky. You don't want her pickiness rubbing off on your kids, so she shouldn't be allowed to nitpick what you cook.
Anonymous
11/03/2014 21:49
Subject: Food problem with a picky adult moving in with us
Anonymous wrote:Picky eating is not a mental illness.
When it's taken to this extent it is. Leaving aside that what the Olive Garden and Red Lobster serve can barely be called food, stressing about changes to the menu at chain restaurants just isn't healthy.
Anonymous
11/03/2014 21:23
Subject: Food problem with a picky adult moving in with us
She's an adult who can feed herself. Do you have experience with roommates, housemates? Take her shopping, she can have a shelf to herself in the frig. She can fix her own meals - or at least part of each meal. If she doesn't, she can eat what the family eats.
This is how adults co-habitate. Works with adult children who move back home. Don't know why it wouldn't work for your Mom.
This is how adults co-habitate. Works with adult children who move back home. Don't know why it wouldn't work for your Mom.