Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course there are group homes in Maryland. Go to the DDA website and look at the lists of service providers. If the individual is in a wheelchair and has mobility impairment, there are specialized group homes that are handicap accessible. Staffed 24-7. With people trained in medication administration.
The days of institutions are over. Community based housing is the rule now. Look around. There are probably group homes in your neighborhood. There is still time for aunt to make arrangements for her sons care while she is able to make the choices.

You are extremely naive. No one is denying that group homes exist. Do you have any idea that the waiting lists to enter them is YEARS -- DECADES -- long? Teenagers are on the waiting list for placement in later life. The group homes pick and choose who can live there.

By the way, my child is on the waiting list JUST for DDA services now in her 5th year. So it's really not a matter of just dialing the DDA and telling them what you need just like ordering a pizza. DDA has also recently in the past two years fired every single one of their county employees and hired contractors. The contractors are learning the system. Which means mass confusion. We just two months ago had an intake interview for DDA services after being in their system and receiving letters every six months letting us know we were "high priority."

To the person who thinks having an eighty year old caretaker somehow magically makes you an emergency for them, dream on.

Why do people believe there is some sort of magical safety net here? And then when the moms of autistic kids or disabled kids kill themselves or their children, everyone screams for them to be jailed or waterboarded or tortured. Unreal.

I wholeheartedly agree. My DS isn't impaired to the extend this woman's was but I understand the toll of taking care of a SN kid. http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/05/justice/oregon-mother-autism-son-death/index.html People are so very naive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she won't accept "extra" help, you can tell her the helpers are in a training program and you aunt and your cousin are needed to help someone get trained. We have done this on numerous occasions and it usually works.

What helpers?

The ones you hire and then tell your Aunt that they are in a training program and need to go to homes like hers to "practice" so they can get the "certificate".

That works if Op has resources to hire and if family has resources. Help is expensive. Really expensive. And the aunt may or may not have lots of assets. Caring for a severely disabled for many years can tap out even a really wealthy person. This is a really tough situation. JSSA may have resources that can direct you to where to start looking for help. Btw, I am the pp who said that I don't want to burden my dd. I know and she knows that she will have to help her brother. My ds is not "severely disabled" and will be able to live on his own, thankfully.

The Op has already indicated her willingness to contribute $3000 per month to the care of her Aunt.

Where did she say that?

Sorry, I got this thread mixed up with the other 'Aunt needs help' thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she won't accept "extra" help, you can tell her the helpers are in a training program and you aunt and your cousin are needed to help someone get trained. We have done this on numerous occasions and it usually works.

What helpers?

The ones you hire and then tell your Aunt that they are in a training program and need to go to homes like hers to "practice" so they can get the "certificate".

That works if Op has resources to hire and if family has resources. Help is expensive. Really expensive. And the aunt may or may not have lots of assets. Caring for a severely disabled for many years can tap out even a really wealthy person. This is a really tough situation. JSSA may have resources that can direct you to where to start looking for help. Btw, I am the pp who said that I don't want to burden my dd. I know and she knows that she will have to help her brother. My ds is not "severely disabled" and will be able to live on his own, thankfully.

The Op has already indicated her willingness to contribute $3000 per month to the care of her Aunt.

You're in the wrong thread. Different aunt.

Anonymous wrote:Of course there are group homes in Maryland. Go to the DDA website and look at the lists of service providers. If the individual is in a wheelchair and has mobility impairment, there are specialized group homes that are handicap accessible. Staffed 24-7. With people trained in medication administration.
The days of institutions are over. Community based housing is the rule now. Look around. There are probably group homes in your neighborhood. There is still time for aunt to make arrangements for her sons care while she is able to make the choices.

You are extremely naive. No one is denying that group homes exist. Do you have any idea that the waiting lists to enter them is YEARS -- DECADES -- long? Teenagers are on the waiting list for placement in later life. The group homes pick and choose who can live there.

By the way, my child is on the waiting list JUST for DDA services now in her 5th year. So it's really not a matter of just dialing the DDA and telling them what you need just like ordering a pizza. DDA has also recently in the past two years fired every single one of their county employees and hired contractors. The contractors are learning the system. Which means mass confusion. We just two months ago had an intake interview for DDA services after being in their system and receiving letters every six months letting us know we were "high priority."

To the person who thinks having an eighty year old caretaker somehow magically makes you an emergency for them, dream on.

Why do people believe there is some sort of magical safety net here? And then when the moms of autistic kids or disabled kids kill themselves or their children, everyone screams for them to be jailed or waterboarded or tortured. Unreal.

Of course there are group homes in Maryland. Go to the DDA website and look at the lists of service providers. If the individual is in a wheelchair and has mobility impairment, there are specialized group homes that are handicap accessible. Staffed 24-7. With people trained in medication administration.
The days of institutions are over. Community based housing is the rule now. Look around. There are probably group homes in your neighborhood. There is still time for aunt to make arrangements for her sons care while she is able to make the choices.

Anonymous wrote:News flash: if aunt is in Maryland, there will be services available for her son, up to and including residential services. The local HHS department can connect her, or the niece, to apply to DDA and start the process now.
The state of Maryland in conjunction with the federal government via a Medicaid waiver, will pay for care for the son. Including a group home.
A situation involving an 80 year old caregiver will be viewed by DDA as urgent. If niece wants guidance, contact the local HHS department or the Arc for assistance.

They may pay for a group home, but IS there a group home????

News flash: if aunt is in Maryland, there will be services available for her son, up to and including residential services. The local HHS department can connect her, or the niece, to apply to DDA and start the process now.
The state of Maryland in conjunction with the federal government via a Medicaid waiver, will pay for care for the son. Including a group home.
A situation involving an 80 year old caregiver will be viewed by DDA as urgent. If niece wants guidance, contact the local HHS department or the Arc for assistance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she won't accept "extra" help, you can tell her the helpers are in a training program and you aunt and your cousin are needed to help someone get trained. We have done this on numerous occasions and it usually works.

What helpers?

The ones you hire and then tell your Aunt that they are in a training program and need to go to homes like hers to "practice" so they can get the "certificate".

That works if Op has resources to hire and if family has resources. Help is expensive. Really expensive. And the aunt may or may not have lots of assets. Caring for a severely disabled for many years can tap out even a really wealthy person. This is a really tough situation. JSSA may have resources that can direct you to where to start looking for help. Btw, I am the pp who said that I don't want to burden my dd. I know and she knows that she will have to help her brother. My ds is not "severely disabled" and will be able to live on his own, thankfully.

The Op has already indicated her willingness to contribute $3000 per month to the care of her Aunt.

Where did she say that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she won't accept "extra" help, you can tell her the helpers are in a training program and you aunt and your cousin are needed to help someone get trained. We have done this on numerous occasions and it usually works.

What helpers?

The ones you hire and then tell your Aunt that they are in a training program and need to go to homes like hers to "practice" so they can get the "certificate".

That works if Op has resources to hire and if family has resources. Help is expensive. Really expensive. And the aunt may or may not have lots of assets. Caring for a severely disabled for many years can tap out even a really wealthy person. This is a really tough situation. JSSA may have resources that can direct you to where to start looking for help. Btw, I am the pp who said that I don't want to burden my dd. I know and she knows that she will have to help her brother. My ds is not "severely disabled" and will be able to live on his own, thankfully.

The Op has already indicated her willingness to contribute $3000 per month to the care of her Aunt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she won't accept "extra" help, you can tell her the helpers are in a training program and you aunt and your cousin are needed to help someone get trained. We have done this on numerous occasions and it usually works.

What helpers?

The ones you hire and then tell your Aunt that they are in a training program and need to go to homes like hers to "practice" so they can get the "certificate".

That works if Op has resources to hire and if family has resources. Help is expensive. Really expensive. And the aunt may or may not have lots of assets. Caring for a severely disabled for many years can tap out even a really wealthy person. This is a really tough situation. JSSA may have resources that can direct you to where to start looking for help. Btw, I am the pp who said that I don't want to burden my dd. I know and she knows that she will have to help her brother. My ds is not "severely disabled" and will be able to live on his own, thankfully.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she won't accept "extra" help, you can tell her the helpers are in a training program and you aunt and your cousin are needed to help someone get trained. We have done this on numerous occasions and it usually works.

What helpers?

The ones you hire and then tell your Aunt that they are in a training program and need to go to homes like hers to "practice" so they can get the "certificate".

What a sobering, moving post. Agree with all the commenters. Where is the help supposed to come from, and have you helped your aunt find these?

Anonymous wrote:If she won't accept "extra" help, you can tell her the helpers are in a training program and you aunt and your cousin are needed to help someone get trained. We have done this on numerous occasions and it usually works.

What helpers?

We see stories on the news of mothers of disabled children who kill themselves or their kids and -- we blame the mother. We don't question the conditions that led to these tragedies. We say things like "Aunt in Denial."

If she won't accept "extra" help, you can tell her the helpers are in a training program and you aunt and your cousin are needed to help someone get trained. We have done this on numerous occasions and it usually works.