Omg, just shut up already. Fuck.

Anonymous wrote:She hates you, too. Quit nickel and dimeing three innocent kids. God, you terrible step moms on here have made me just terrified of divorce. Those poor babies.

Ummm I don't personally have any support obligations to her kids. I pay for tons of stuff for them. I personally (not DH) just flew everyone to Universal Studios and Disney so we could geek out to a family Harry Potter vacation. I spend my own money taking them on a back to school shopping trip at the end of each summer and then we do a girl's trip to the beauty salon. I took four weeks of my own personal leave this summer to be with them, take them for horseback riding lessons, basketball clinics, volleyball camps etc bc my husband was called away to the field (but he has "tax free shopping" so it's all good). I never speak badly of their mom, even when I am washing every linen in my home bc she didn't tell me about the lice infestation. What really upsets me is that the ex wife doesn't honor her obligations under the divorce decree, and she also leverages her influence with the kids to guilt DH into paying for stuff when she doesn't want to pay for it. So, when exactly was I "terrible?" Was it when I was at the minute clinic with DSD getting her fungal infection treated? Or when I was at the "lice treatment salon" (yes there is such a thing) with DSD who was in tears bc she is 13 and so embarrassed to have lice that her mom didn't take care of properly? The "salon" btw cost $125 but I paid for it bc DSD was devastated and in emotional and physical trauma. The ex bought a $12 shampoo from Walmart and then sent them to me for the summer hoping for the best. Just bc I really dislike the ex and her manipulative financial practices doesn't make me a "terrible" step mom. Being a step is a very hard role. You have a ton of responsibility and virtually no authority. You are on the hook to care for someone else's children. So maybe don't be so judgmental. And just because it's hard doesn't mean I want a divorce, to anyone who might be wondering.

She hates you, too. Quit nickel and dimeing three innocent kids. God, you terrible step moms on here have made me just terrified of divorce. Those poor babies.

Well, I really love him and the kids are pretty great. The lice thing was...not cool.

I totally understand. I don't why someone would even consider marrying a man in his situation. Except maybe mail order brides. You have to deal with lice at your house that weren't even brought by your own kids? Ewww

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Sorry I did not address the court order. The court order dictates the amount of the support. He covers their health insurance. Not sure how medical bill work, they probably split them bc he paid for half of glasses and braces. They split activities, except she never pays for when the activities are with us in the summer. They split travel, except she never pays him back for tix. The last thing she told DSD was that she couldn't get an updo for homecoming bc dad wouldn't pay half for it. Not "you're a freshman and we are not spending $120 on your hair." Not "if you want an updo you can do extra chores to pay for it."

Ok so you know exactly Jack about their agreement. Educate yourself first before you make yourself sound like an idiot.

No I just don't remember exactly what the arrangement is for medical. Just bc I don't have the thing memorized verbatim doesn't mean I know "Jack". Regarding the $500 per kid amount, curious what people think would be more appropriate. She is a GS13 in Houston so prob making a high 5 figures. He makes a bit less than her and lives in DC area.

And he's active duty with BAH etc... Tax free shopping? Oh dear you are a bitter one

Yeah he's active duty deployed three times to Iraq and Afghanistan in combat, injured, losing his hearing, lost friends, and all of that. So seriously STFU about BAH and tax free shopping. He gets perks as an active duty service member but his sacrifice is way more than a 10 percent military discount at Ref Robin.

Oh oh oh. Why don't you sue her for custody?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It is 1500 per month, 500 per kid. Their ages are 14,13, and 9.

PP here---my bad, my apologies! Still not out of line, but I do totally get what you're saying---she needs to budget that money to cover the kids needs while they're with her. While I'd love to agree 100% with the poster who suggested withholding what she owes you from that support, make sure you understand the decree fully before doing so. Is it spelled out that they are to split camp costs? Plane tickets? Healthcare needs? Document, document, document!!!

Ok, the only people hurt by withholding money are the kids. Again, if you don't have kids with this dude just divorce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Sorry I did not address the court order. The court order dictates the amount of the support. He covers their health insurance. Not sure how medical bill work, they probably split them bc he paid for half of glasses and braces. They split activities, except she never pays for when the activities are with us in the summer. They split travel, except she never pays him back for tix. The last thing she told DSD was that she couldn't get an updo for homecoming bc dad wouldn't pay half for it. Not "you're a freshman and we are not spending $120 on your hair." Not "if you want an updo you can do extra chores to pay for it."

Ok so you know exactly Jack about their agreement. Educate yourself first before you make yourself sound like an idiot.

No I just don't remember exactly what the arrangement is for medical. Just bc I don't have the thing memorized verbatim doesn't mean I know "Jack". Regarding the $500 per kid amount, curious what people think would be more appropriate. She is a GS13 in Houston so prob making a high 5 figures. He makes a bit less than her and lives in DC area.

And he's active duty with BAH etc... Tax free shopping? Oh dear you are a bitter one

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It is 1500 per month, 500 per kid. Their ages are 14,13, and 9.

PP here---my bad, my apologies! Still not out of line, but I do totally get what you're saying---she needs to budget that money to cover the kids needs while they're with her. While I'd love to agree 100% with the poster who suggested withholding what she owes you from that support, make sure you understand the decree fully before doing so. Is it spelled out that they are to split camp costs? Plane tickets? Healthcare needs? Document, document, document!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It is 1500 per month, 500 per kid. Their ages are 14,13, and 9.

That is very cheap.

I don't know how you could say that, since you have no idea what either parent's income is.

Lol! We know how much kids cost.

Anonymous wrote:Did he move away from his kids, or did the ex move them to Houston?

They were both living in Kansas with shared custody. Then she got a good job as a fed (she was a contractor before) in Houston and moved them. We got married and moved to DC. He's military so her move was not controversial. He knew he'd be moving away from the kids once the military moved him.

Did he move away from his kids, or did the ex move them to Houston?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Sorry I did not address the court order. The court order dictates the amount of the support. He covers their health insurance. Not sure how medical bill work, they probably split them bc he paid for half of glasses and braces. They split activities, except she never pays for when the activities are with us in the summer. They split travel, except she never pays him back for tix. The last thing she told DSD was that she couldn't get an updo for homecoming bc dad wouldn't pay half for it. Not "you're a freshman and we are not spending $120 on your hair." Not "if you want an updo you can do extra chores to pay for it."

Ok so you know exactly Jack about their agreement. Educate yourself first before you make yourself sound like an idiot.

No I just don't remember exactly what the arrangement is for medical. Just bc I don't have the thing memorized verbatim doesn't mean I know "Jack". Regarding the $500 per kid amount, curious what people think would be more appropriate. She is a GS13 in Houston so prob making a high 5 figures. He makes a bit less than her and lives in DC area.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It is 1500 per month, 500 per kid. Their ages are 14,13, and 9.

That is very cheap.

I don't know how you could say that, since you have no idea what either parent's income is.