Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 09:07     Subject: Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, part of the dining experience is richness of the conversation that comes from diners of all backgrounds and experiences. It's not just about the food that the waiters serve you, but about the way the tables are arranged so as to mix up the diners and promote enlightening conversations. The owners of the restaurant recognize that not all diners can afford their restaurant, but they want that richness that diversity brings to their table conversations, and so they offer their meals at a discounted or even free rate to some.

All diners know this going in. Some have more money than they know what to do with, and some save and scrimp to eat there. But they feel it's worth it because the food and the service AND the rich conversation from the many and varied diners makes it a completely wonderful dining experience. There is no resentment on their part that others do not pay because they recognize the value those others bring AND they're not petty morons.


NP here. But the problem is, the "diversity" that these diners eating free bring is fake diversity. They are people who are basically just like me, but for whatever reason, they cannot afford the meal. They all went to college themselves and have good jobs, but maybe they are working in non-profits, say, or they have chosen to become teachers instead of law firm partners, or whatever. They have the same basic manners, the same basic interest in eating in a good restaurant, the same conversation skills, etc. "Rich and varied" diversity means bringing in people that most people dining in the restaurant would not want there in the first place, thus breeding the resentment that OP describes.


This is true in many restaurants to be sure, but where my family dines, there is some "rich and varied" diversity (and plenty of the fake diversity too) and I've never sensed resentment among the full paying customers.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 09:04     Subject: Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
There is a disconnect here. Private schools remove themselves and their students from the larger community intentionally, for any number of philosophical or political reasons. As is their right. I have no doubt that there is a sense of community and generosity amongst some of you in the private school environment, but the entire reason you exist is to separate yourself from the greater community. Don't then turn around and use inclusive verbiage, if you truly believed in inclusive, community spirited education, you wouldn't have pulled your kid out of the local public to search for greener pastures.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 09:03     Subject: Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
Anonymous wrote:Judging by your taste in restaurants OP all of the excellent arguments and suggestions offered by PPs will be lost on you. Maybe you should cook at home.



+1
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 09:03     Subject: Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
Anonymous wrote:

NP here. But the problem is, the "diversity" that these diners eating free bring is fake diversity. They are people who are basically just like me, but for whatever reason, they cannot afford the meal. They all went to college themselves and have good jobs, but maybe they are working in non-profits, say, or they have chosen to become teachers instead of law firm partners, or whatever. They have the same basic manners, the same basic interest in eating in a good restaurant, the same conversation skills, etc. "Rich and varied" diversity means bringing in people that most people dining in the restaurant would not want there in the first place, thus breeding the resentment that OP describes.


But OP already resents the fake diversity.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 08:58     Subject: Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
Anonymous wrote:OP, part of the dining experience is richness of the conversation that comes from diners of all backgrounds and experiences. It's not just about the food that the waiters serve you, but about the way the tables are arranged so as to mix up the diners and promote enlightening conversations. The owners of the restaurant recognize that not all diners can afford their restaurant, but they want that richness that diversity brings to their table conversations, and so they offer their meals at a discounted or even free rate to some.

All diners know this going in. Some have more money than they know what to do with, and some save and scrimp to eat there. But they feel it's worth it because the food and the service AND the rich conversation from the many and varied diners makes it a completely wonderful dining experience. There is no resentment on their part that others do not pay because they recognize the value those others bring AND they're not petty morons.


NP here. But the problem is, the "diversity" that these diners eating free bring is fake diversity. They are people who are basically just like me, but for whatever reason, they cannot afford the meal. They all went to college themselves and have good jobs, but maybe they are working in non-profits, say, or they have chosen to become teachers instead of law firm partners, or whatever. They have the same basic manners, the same basic interest in eating in a good restaurant, the same conversation skills, etc. "Rich and varied" diversity means bringing in people that most people dining in the restaurant would not want there in the first place, thus breeding the resentment that OP describes.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 08:48     Subject: Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
^^resentMENT. Typing too fast.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 08:47     Subject: Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
Anonymous wrote:There is ENVY in this thread. Don't worry about the other person - you'll be happy. Decide for yourself if the experience is worth the cost.


Maybe it's envy. I read it as resent - of others who have less and get help. I'm not sure which is uglier, frankly.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 08:46     Subject: Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
There is ENVY in this thread. Don't worry about the other person - you'll be happy. Decide for yourself if the experience is worth the cost.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 08:46     Subject: Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
Some like less expensive Italian restaurants, but those come with a side of religion that might give you indigestion.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 08:28     Subject: Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
Judging by your taste in restaurants OP all of the excellent arguments and suggestions offered by PPs will be lost on you. Maybe you should cook at home.

Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 08:26     Subject: Re:Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
Anonymous wrote:So you don't go to restaurants that offer a senior citizen discount?


Also, when OP flies on an airplane, OP asks the people in the adjacent seats how much they paid for their tickets, and if OP paid more, then OP gets off the plane.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 08:22     Subject: Re:Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree with you. FA should be covered by annual giving and the auction. We shouldn't be required to cover it with our increased tuition. What that does is drive out the middle & upper middle classes bc tuition has now reached the point of being unaffordable for all most but the wealthy in order to subsidize those with low HHI.


Tuition increases are not necessarily tied to FA. I used to work for a private and guess what? Like any other business, they have to keep pace with inflation in terms of costs - energy, supplies, maintenance, wages, health care, etc. I assume you want your child attending a school that has nice facilities, extracurriculars, field trips, enrichment and happy, well-trained and educated teachers, right? Well, that costs money.

If you don't like it, as one PP suggested you can always take the money you are spending on tuition and shift it to your mortgage by moving to a fancier suburb with top of the line public schools. Either you're paying for the best through increased taxes and a higher mortgage or through tuition. Your choice.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 08:17     Subject: Re:Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
So you don't go to restaurants that offer a senior citizen discount?
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 08:14     Subject: Re:Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
OP, I agree with you. FA should be covered by annual giving and the auction. We shouldn't be required to cover it with our increased tuition. What that does is drive out the middle & upper middle classes bc tuition has now reached the point of being unaffordable for all most but the wealthy in order to subsidize those with low HHI.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2014 08:08     Subject: Lets suppose I want to take my family to a fancy dinner
^^AREN'T funded equally