Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, this was me. I was busy with college, work, hobbies. Didn't want a "boyfriend". I wanted someone who would occasionally take me out to dinner, have hot sex, and let me go on about my life. A friend with benefits.

In my experience, single men always said they were fine with that at first, but always ended up wanting more. I stopped seeing several guys my age when they started getting clingy and boyfriend-y - even if they were decent guys, that just wasn't what I wanted.

I started seeing a married guy (not really on purpose, I didn't know he was married at first, but I didn't dump him when I found out). I found that our expectations were much more on the same page. He didn't want anything more from me than I wanted from him. I never felt any personal guilt about his wife, that was between them - if I dumped him, he'd cheat with someone else. Never thought of it as my fault that he cheated.

When I finished college and was ready to settle down, I did leave him and started dating a very nice guy my age. Married him.

So, contrary to the opinions of some PPs, I did not ever want or expect the married guy to leave his wife for me. In fact, that was the exact LAST thing I would have wanted. I liked him because he was hot, confident, fun to hang out with, and happened to have a personal situation that meant he wanted a casual relationship just like I did.

I must have been in the wrong dating pool then. Seriously. Most guys I dated were all about casual sex in college.

Anonymous wrote:Well, this was me. I was busy with college, work, hobbies. Didn't want a "boyfriend". I wanted someone who would occasionally take me out to dinner, have hot sex, and let me go on about my life. A friend with benefits.

In my experience, single men always said they were fine with that at first, but always ended up wanting more. I stopped seeing several guys my age when they started getting clingy and boyfriend-y - even if they were decent guys, that just wasn't what I wanted.

I started seeing a married guy (not really on purpose, I didn't know he was married at first, but I didn't dump him when I found out). I found that our expectations were much more on the same page. He didn't want anything more from me than I wanted from him. I never felt any personal guilt about his wife, that was between them - if I dumped him, he'd cheat with someone else. Never thought of it as my fault that he cheated.

When I finished college and was ready to settle down, I did leave him and started dating a very nice guy my age. Married him.

So, contrary to the opinions of some PPs, I did not ever want or expect the married guy to leave his wife for me. In fact, that was the exact LAST thing I would have wanted. I liked him because he was hot, confident, fun to hang out with, and happened to have a personal situation that meant he wanted a casual relationship just like I did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
When you're young and receive the attention of an older man, you think it's because there is something profoundly special about the connection. He can't resist it. It's so real.

As you get older, you see the man as damaged and immature.

That's pretty convenient. When you're young and pretty, middle-aged guys can pay attention to you. When you're no longer so young and pretty, middle-aged guys shouldn't pay attention to others who are young and pretty.

Anonymous wrote:
When you're young and receive the attention of an older man, you think it's because there is something profoundly special about the connection. He can't resist it. It's so real.

As you get older, you see the man as damaged and immature.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Better question:

Why can't a 30+ father of two keep it in his pants every time a young, attractive, educated, self-sufficient woman walks by?

Not a better question. He can. He doesn't want to. His incentive is obvious - young, attractive woman wants to have sex with him. The costs outweigh the benefits, but the benefits are obvious for him; the costs are less immediate. Furthermore, his options are limited - the wife (whose qualities we don't know at this point) or the young hottie.

Now, back to the young, attractive, educated, self-sufficient woman - what's the upside for her? Her options are wide open.

spoken like a true businessman or businesswoman. In stocks or options?

Anonymous wrote: OM wishes he could "hit that" but she's taking up some other dude, who happens to be married with bambinos. Amirite?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
When you're young and receive the attention of an older man, you think it's because there is something profoundly special about the connection. He can't resist it. It's so real.

As you get older, you see the man as damaged and immature.

A million times, yes.

Anonymous wrote:
When you're young and receive the attention of an older man, you think it's because there is something profoundly special about the connection. He can't resist it. It's so real.

As you get older, you see the man as damaged and immature.

Anonymous wrote:
When you're young and receive the attention of an older man, you think it's because there is something profoundly special about the connection. He can't resist it. It's so real.

As you get older, you see the man as damaged and immature.

Anonymous wrote:People always want what they can't have. It's the thrill of the chase!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why in the hell are you taking up with this 30+ married father of 2? You can have anything you want! Why oh why are you making such terrible decisions? There are so many of you that do this. So soo stupid.

Why in the hell do you care?