Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks its crazy for parents to give grown financially independent children (bio or inlaws) money for birthdays? Seems so weird to me!

Why?
You would rather someone buy you something you don't want when you could have just used the cash to buy/do/see what you really want?
People kill me with all of these asinine, made up rules about s*** that really doesn't matter.

Not pp, but I also agree it's weird. A card in the mail is nice, or phonecall. But more than that for a grownup, is weird.

Yes. And they sent her a bunch of underwear?

MIL and I have the same birthday so we always at least say or text Happy BD.

Yes.

Yes. Something small but thoughtfully picked out. Usually around $50. My parents do the same for DH

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks its crazy for parents to give grown financially independent children (bio or inlaws) money for birthdays? Seems so weird to me!

Why?
You would rather someone buy you something you don't want when you could have just used the cash to buy/do/see what you really want?
People kill me with all of these asinine, made up rules about s*** that really doesn't matter.

Am I the only one who thinks its crazy for parents to give grown financially independent children (bio or inlaws) money for birthdays? Seems so weird to me!

Always. It's generally an email or text, a card in the mail, and a gift the next time they see me. which is totally not awkward, but makes me feel kinda guilty b/c I ALWAYS forget their birthdays.
my parents, OTOH, will send DH a card and check, but don't call, text, etc.

MIL usually acknowledges my bday one month later, when her other son's bday comes up. so i get to share a cake with him! is it ungrateful of me to say i'd rather she forgets mine?!

FWIW, my parents don't acknowledge DH's, but he's fine with that.

Yes and I usually find it awkward and forced. Lots of lead up with phone calls to my DH asking for "what I want for my bday". Lots of pressure to dream up a meaningful enough gift that is in the perfect price range. MIL got annoyed the year I suggested gift cards to clothing stores I like. It's annoying all around. I'd prefer a card, text or simple email with no gifts. Or nothing, that's fine too.

My own mother sends my DH a card with a check. Much simpler and always appreciated.

Nope. As with some of the other PPs, ILs also don't acknowledge DH or our kids on their birthdays. In fact, we don't hear from them even on major holidays. None of DH's brothers send anything on holidays or birthdays either, though they do usually call him on his b-day. They sometimes post nice things to us on FB on celebration days, but that's basically it.

FWIW - DH does not acknowledge the birthdays of any of my relatives and he only remembers them at Christmas because I sign his name on the card.

Yes.

I'd prefer if we just called and said happy birthday though. The whole gift giving thing is really contrived because they apparently still don't know me after 15 years and so while they acknowledge my birthday it's usually with a gift so ridiculous that it seems to me as if they went out of their way to get something they know I would hate/can't use. Same thing at Christmas.

Yes, just as if I'm their own child. They're pretty great, and not just in that way.

Yes always. I would be extremely upset if they didn't remember my birthday. The $$ amount doesn't matter to me. Some years they spend $50 and this last birthday they spent $250.

We aren't big on calling each other mainly because it's just awkward, but we always acknowledge and have cake next time we see each other.

Usually no. Once or twice MIL has sent a card. I don't think they know my birthday (there were just a couple times my DH mentioned it was coming up).

I try to send my MIL a text on hers but it's my DH who really takes charge on calling her.

My parents give my DH gifts when they remember and when its a bigger bday (30th etc.) but they have forgotten too.

None of us care. Being remembered is nice. But we aren't big birthday people so don't think twice when it doesn't happen.