I read on DCUM once that you shouldn't get divorced before the youngest child reaches 3. I think it's good advice. Children are definitely a stress on a marriage.

Do you have any family in the area?

Anonymous wrote:I guess I could have her stay after work. I feel guilty doing that when I should be enjoying my son though.

Don't feel guilt. I didn't enjoy my son until he was 7 month. Don't get me wrong, I loved him and felt obligated to take care of him, but taking care of him didn't become fun until then.

If you are breastfeeding, I would recommend stopping and switching to formula. I don't say this lightly, because breastfeeding is important, but right now keeping your family intact takes precedent.

How does your baby sleep at night?

The receptionist said they don't do evenings and weekends but I am hoping I can schedule future ones around lunchtime. I'm salaried so it's not like I'm needing to clock in and out but still can't really be away during the day, you know?

We've been married five years. Things were great before I was pregnant, and started going downhill during, but not much you can do about it at that point. I've posted here before about that stuff.

OP, can you go this appointment tomorrow and then schedule future appointments around your work schedule? Most therapists are very flexible. Mine have even had Saturday and Sunday openings. Sorry you are going through so much. Your husband definitely needs to be more supportive. Your medical issues right now trump his marital satisfaction. How long were you two together before you got pregnant?

I guess I could have her stay after work. I feel guilty doing that when I should be enjoying my son though.

I don't think a medical LOA would happen. I should say that my immediate supervisor is pretty supportive but HR is not. And my immediate supervisor is too scared of them to push back.

Honestly, I don't do much cooking or cleaning now. I run a vacuum so the baby doesn't get into anything but cooking has been difficult. My next door neighbor's daughter watches the baby while I'm working.

Can you take a medical leave of absence OP? Who watches your baby during the day? Can you take a break from cooking and cleaning and try to get a little more sleep?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Found a counselor with an opening for tomorrow. I guess it's a matter of calling the right person at the right time. Not sure she's the right person, but maybe it's a start. I don't know how to explain the time off to my boss though.

When did you return to work? I am in awe of women who return to work full-time before 5 months.
Do you have any leave left? If so, I would consider using it up. If your boss has children he/she will understand.

Just read your previous post. No wonder you're unraveling.

Anonymous wrote:Found a counselor with an opening for tomorrow. I guess it's a matter of calling the right person at the right time. Not sure she's the right person, but maybe it's a start. I don't know how to explain the time off to my boss though.

When did you return to work? I am in awe of women who return to work full-time before 5 months.
Do you have any leave left? If so, I would consider using it up. If your boss has children he/she will understand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Found a counselor with an opening for tomorrow. I guess it's a matter of calling the right person at the right time. Not sure she's the right person, but maybe it's a start. I don't know how to explain the time off to my boss though.

Stop making excuses or looking to find them.

You tell your boss you have a health matter to attend to.

Right, because losing my job when my husband is threatening divorce would make things better. I didn't even get FMLA and was back at work within 3 weeks after a c-section, so spare me your "excuses" talk. Losing my job for going to counseling is a very real risk for me.

Anonymous wrote:Found a counselor with an opening for tomorrow. I guess it's a matter of calling the right person at the right time. Not sure she's the right person, but maybe it's a start. I don't know how to explain the time off to my boss though.

Stop making excuses or looking to find them.

You tell your boss you have a health matter to attend to.

Both your OB AND your husband are idiots OP.

First of all, you need to see a psychiatrist ASAP + get on some medication for your depression. Just because your baby is already 3 months old does not mean you are not suffering from PPD. Also, if you can swing it, try to see if you can get someone to watch your baby so you can also get some therapy as well.

Until you get some professional help, you will continue to suffer and along w/you, your husband and eventually your child as well.

While I do think your husband is being unkind about your situation, perhaps he is just simply frustrated himself over how bad things are and feels helpless.

Hopefully when things improve for you mentally, they will also improve at home as well.

Please call a Dr. today. Do not put this off another minute...second...

This should be a top priority over anything else.

W/modern medicine today, no one should have to suffer the way you are every day of their lives.

Good luck to both you and your family.

(((( Hugs ))))

Anonymous wrote:

This is part of the problem. I've called a few counselors and it's a 3 week wait to see someone. Same with a family practice doctor - I don't have a PCP. I know, I know, if I'd just made an appointment, but when you're desperate and begging someone for help and are told it's 3-4 weeks for it, the easiest thing to do is hang up the phone and cry. Finding someone today just isn't going to happen.

I'm sorry, but having to wait for an appt is not a valid excuse not to get treatment and be a better person for yourself and for your family. What other choice do you have? Your PPD isn't likely to disappear in those three weeks. I understand, people suffering from depression often times need a push to get better. It's too difficult to do out of sheer will. Maybe the threat of divorce is what you need. I'm not advocating your DH's position btw. I think he should be more patient and empathetic with the situation. But he obviously isn't and if your wish is not to wake up one day divorced, a single mom, AND still depressed, I would make that appointment today.

Btw, I suffered from PPD for a long time after my first child and on an off with my next two. Parenting infants is HARD. I did what I had to do to help myself and I didn't always want to do what was required. It was a lot of work also. But I would have regretted not doing it. I am positive of that.

Anonymous wrote:


We never had a second child because of my depression.

I wonder if this is part of it. Maybe he realizes there won't be a second baby and is pissed about it.

Found a counselor with an opening for tomorrow. I guess it's a matter of calling the right person at the right time. Not sure she's the right person, but maybe it's a start. I don't know how to explain the time off to my boss though.