Anonymous
Post 10/19/2014 15:51     Subject: Depressed about dating
I am late 40's woman with a 12 year old. Strangely enough, my last two boyfriends are single guys (no kids) that are 10-15 years younger than me. As the PP said, you'd think we'd be on different planets -- but it seems to work. They approached me online. Once I got over the shock, I gave it a try. It does appear that 50 year guys are interested in the younger women -- not someone their own age. I'd suggest being open to trying something "outside the box."

I am upfront with them -- if they want to have kids, that is NOT going to happen with me. I have no interest in adopting/raising another child.
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2014 11:57     Subject: Re:Depressed about dating
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Single guy here, early 30s and same 'problem.' Or it isn't a problem depending on how you look at it.

The truth is, there are many people who are in relationships who do not "click" with each other, but they remain with each other for different reasons. Lesson: only real friends "click" with each other, for everything else, just enjoy the companionship until you either fall in love or decide that things have run their course.

...and try social activities like a weekly/monthly Latin dance class, a book club, sports, etc. Doing something you love frequently, increases the odds of finding like-minded friends to "click" with....


Sweets, I know you're trying to help, but you as a single guy in his early 30s, and OP as a single woman in her late 40s WITH A CHILD, are living on two different planets.

OP is most likely chuckling at the suggestion of weekly Latin dance classes. I know I would be.




How old is your child. Assuming you had them in mid 30s they would be 8 or 10, so babysitter easy or ask a friend to have them over and spring for pizza


Any responsible single parent knows that the last thing they should be doing is leaving an 8 or 10 year old with a sitter or a friend once a week, while they pursue their own social life.
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2014 11:53     Subject: Depressed about dating
Dating, like almost anything else in life is a work in progress.

Nothing good ever comes easy.

When you meet the right person, he will definitely be worth the wait. You'll see.
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2014 07:37     Subject: Re:Depressed about dating
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So while the magazines may sell this or that stereotype, a man in his fifties is rarely a prize for a 30-year old.


Yeah, says all the 30 y/o women who date, fuck and marry all those rich, successful and attractive 50 y/o men.


On the contrary, that 50 yo single rich man is a unicorn. I run in those circles and all the rich 50 yos are married. Even if they are unhappy and cruising for a mistress they wouldn't risk losing their a$$ in divorce.

Agree with PP on "market value" being gross. That's DC I guess. Too many want to climb the social ladder rather than find a good partner.

Keep your eyes on the prize OP. You may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your frog prince.
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2014 07:29     Subject: Re:Depressed about dating
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Met get better with age, women don't. Notice who is usually listed as the "sexiest man alive" vs sexiest women in various magazines. The guys are always 40+, but not so for the women.

For better or worse, women are valued in society more on their looks vs men. Biologically, a 20-y-o woman is going to look better then a 40-y-o woman. On top of that, it's a lot easier for a 50-y-o man to date a 30-y-o woman than vice versa.



I'm the younger single Mom from above. While I don't disagree with your premise, the dating scene is hard at any age and with any situation.


Few 20-year-old women will have trouble getting dates. If anything, they get too much attention.


But we're not talking about getting dates - OP is getting dates but not quality men. In my 20s I had tons of dates with or quality men. Same problem.


Or = no quality men
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2014 07:27     Subject: Re:Depressed about dating
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Single guy here, early 30s and same 'problem.' Or it isn't a problem depending on how you look at it.

The truth is, there are many people who are in relationships who do not "click" with each other, but they remain with each other for different reasons. Lesson: only real friends "click" with each other, for everything else, just enjoy the companionship until you either fall in love or decide that things have run their course.

...and try social activities like a weekly/monthly Latin dance class, a book club, sports, etc. Doing something you love frequently, increases the odds of finding like-minded friends to "click" with....


Sweets, I know you're trying to help, but you as a single guy in his early 30s, and OP as a single woman in her late 40s WITH A CHILD, are living on two different planets.

OP is most likely chuckling at the suggestion of weekly Latin dance classes. I know I would be.


How old is your child. Assuming you had them in mid 30s they would be 8 or 10, so babysitter easy or ask a friend to have them over and spring for pizza
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2014 07:26     Subject: Re:Depressed about dating
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Met get better with age, women don't. Notice who is usually listed as the "sexiest man alive" vs sexiest women in various magazines. The guys are always 40+, but not so for the women.

For better or worse, women are valued in society more on their looks vs men. Biologically, a 20-y-o woman is going to look better then a 40-y-o woman. On top of that, it's a lot easier for a 50-y-o man to date a 30-y-o woman than vice versa.



I'm the younger single Mom from above. While I don't disagree with your premise, the dating scene is hard at any age and with any situation.


Few 20-year-old women will have trouble getting dates. If anything, they get too much attention.


But we're not talking about getting dates - OP is getting dates but not quality men. In my 20s I had tons of dates with or quality men. Same problem.
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2014 07:15     Subject: Depressed about dating
Can't anyone on this site ever look at dating as something other than people's worth in a market?
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2014 02:11     Subject: Re:Depressed about dating
Anonymous wrote:So while the magazines may sell this or that stereotype, a man in his fifties is rarely a prize for a 30-year old.


Yeah, says all the 30 y/o women who date, fuck and marry all those rich, successful and attractive 50 y/o men.
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2014 02:09     Subject: Re:Depressed about dating
Anonymous wrote:
The problem with men is they peak at about 18, and it's all downhill after that. So while the magazines may sell this or that stereotype, a man in his fifties is rarely a prize for a 30-year old.


LOL, keep dreaming, babe.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2014 22:03     Subject: Depressed about dating
Well, I'm a dad now but I was single going into my 40's and never thought I'd meet Mrs. Right. I tried for years and years. When I quite trying, it happened. All I did was just try to get out there, in work and in my personal life. Just do what I like. I didn't have a child as do you, but I believe the same principles apply. Do what you both like. When you're enthusiastic, guys notice kid or no kid.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2014 21:57     Subject: Re:Depressed about dating
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Met get better with age, women don't. Notice who is usually listed as the "sexiest man alive" vs sexiest women in various magazines. The guys are always 40+, but not so for the women.

The problem with men is they peak at about 18, and it's all downhill after that. So while the magazines may sell this or that stereotype, a man in his fifties is rarely a prize for a 30-year old.


Men do have their sexual peak at 18 (vs about 30 for women), but men's general level is so high that even a drop from the peak isn't that low anyway.

Also it's not just magazines -- look at marriage data and it's much, much more common for the man to be older than the woman and not the other way around.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2014 21:56     Subject: Re:Depressed about dating
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Met get better with age, women don't. Notice who is usually listed as the "sexiest man alive" vs sexiest women in various magazines. The guys are always 40+, but not so for the women.

For better or worse, women are valued in society more on their looks vs men. Biologically, a 20-y-o woman is going to look better then a 40-y-o woman. On top of that, it's a lot easier for a 50-y-o man to date a 30-y-o woman than vice versa.



I'm the younger single Mom from above. While I don't disagree with your premise, the dating scene is hard at any age and with any situation.


Few 20-year-old women will have trouble getting dates. If anything, they get too much attention.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2014 21:54     Subject: Re:Depressed about dating
Anonymous wrote:Met get better with age, women don't. Notice who is usually listed as the "sexiest man alive" vs sexiest women in various magazines. The guys are always 40+, but not so for the women.

For better or worse, women are valued in society more on their looks vs men. Biologically, a 20-y-o woman is going to look better then a 40-y-o woman. On top of that, it's a lot easier for a 50-y-o man to date a 30-y-o woman than vice versa.



OP: is this suppose to be helpful?
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2014 21:51     Subject: Re:Depressed about dating
Anonymous wrote:Met get better with age, women don't. Notice who is usually listed as the "sexiest man alive" vs sexiest women in various magazines. The guys are always 40+, but not so for the women.

The problem with men is they peak at about 18, and it's all downhill after that. So while the magazines may sell this or that stereotype, a man in his fifties is rarely a prize for a 30-year old.