Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you *you* like to do? What hobbies and interests do you have? I have personally found a good way to meet other "mom" friends is to engage in some things that you like and you will meet others there. I found women who were the most like me and who I most wanted to be friends with when I started playing daytime tennis. My kids are a little older than yours (the oldest is now 3) and I'm really interested in staying home full-time soon, partly because I relish the opportunity to do things I'm interested in for myself as well as for my kids. I can see how staying home would be boring and isolating if I didn't have anything I wanted to do other than take care of a baby. And if you're willing to get a part-time mother's helper you may have time for something that you are interested in.

It will get better as the kid gets older. The way you describe this does sound like staying at home is a good option for your family, and I completely concur with other posters who have suggested that going back to work is not necessarily the answer because then you will just be more exhausted doing it all.

OP here. Well, the problem is having the energy these days to spend on hobbies. My child wakes up for the day at 6 am, and I take care of her until spouse comes home at 6 pm. Once a week spouse travels for work, in which case I am taking care of my child for a few days at a time. She also does not sleep through the night. I wish I had more energy but I don't really have the energy for many hobbies at this time. I don't have the energy to go out on the weekdays. I can go out on the weekends, but my husband works some weekends, so I am taking care of my child then, and most of the moms I have met are not interested in getting together on the weekends because that is family time. So weekends would be my only time to do hobbies. I guess my main hobby-related interests are exercise and crafts/artistic things. I haven't really explored taking a class or going to a gym due to the lack of energy issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I returned to work after 2 years. In many ways working is logistically harder, but SAH was mind numbing and depressing. I returned to workat at a 60k salary and now 6 years later Im pushing 200. Though my DH does jot have a family friendly career my income covers a housekeeper/ nanny between the hours of 1pm-5pm. I do no laundry, no grocery shopping, no errand running, no Costco runs...housekeeper even gets dinner prepped and kids off the bus and started on homework. I get to come home at 5 and enjoy the kids. I feel like having a life outside the home makes me appreciate even more what I've got at home.

What job?

I started out as a "sales analyst" (a bunch of bullshit really) and am now in sales with a decent account, but no where near one of the higher performing accounts.

OP, what do you *you* like to do? What hobbies and interests do you have? I have personally found a good way to meet other "mom" friends is to engage in some things that you like and you will meet others there. I found women who were the most like me and who I most wanted to be friends with when I started playing daytime tennis. My kids are a little older than yours (the oldest is now 3) and I'm really interested in staying home full-time soon, partly because I relish the opportunity to do things I'm interested in for myself as well as for my kids. I can see how staying home would be boring and isolating if I didn't have anything I wanted to do other than take care of a baby. And if you're willing to get a part-time mother's helper you may have time for something that you are interested in.

It will get better as the kid gets older. The way you describe this does sound like staying at home is a good option for your family, and I completely concur with other posters who have suggested that going back to work is not necessarily the answer because then you will just be more exhausted doing it all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I returned to work after 2 years. In many ways working is logistically harder, but SAH was mind numbing and depressing. I returned to workat at a 60k salary and now 6 years later Im pushing 200. Though my DH does jot have a family friendly career my income covers a housekeeper/ nanny between the hours of 1pm-5pm. I do no laundry, no grocery shopping, no errand running, no Costco runs...housekeeper even gets dinner prepped and kids off the bus and started on homework. I get to come home at 5 and enjoy the kids. I feel like having a life outside the home makes me appreciate even more what I've got at home.

This sounds sad to me, for some reason.

Uh, ok. If by weird you mean awesome.

Anonymous wrote:I returned to work after 2 years. In many ways working is logistically harder, but SAH was mind numbing and depressing. I returned to workat at a 60k salary and now 6 years later Im pushing 200. Though my DH does jot have a family friendly career my income covers a housekeeper/ nanny between the hours of 1pm-5pm. I do no laundry, no grocery shopping, no errand running, no Costco runs...housekeeper even gets dinner prepped and kids off the bus and started on homework. I get to come home at 5 and enjoy the kids. I feel like having a life outside the home makes me appreciate even more what I've got at home.

What job?

Anonymous wrote:I returned to work after 2 years. In many ways working is logistically harder, but SAH was mind numbing and depressing. I returned to workat at a 60k salary and now 6 years later Im pushing 200. Though my DH does jot have a family friendly career my income covers a housekeeper/ nanny between the hours of 1pm-5pm. I do no laundry, no grocery shopping, no errand running, no Costco runs...housekeeper even gets dinner prepped and kids off the bus and started on homework. I get to come home at 5 and enjoy the kids. I feel like having a life outside the home makes me appreciate even more what I've got at home.

This sounds sad to me, for some reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What neighborhood are you in?

OP here. I'm in the far flung suburbs in NoVA--Chantilly.

Ok, thanks for answering. The neighborhood that you describe sounds much like mine. I thought maybe we could have been neighbors. I'm in Springfield and I feel the same way as you.

Getting?

^^^ DH does not have a family friendly career...hence the housekeeper.

I returned to work after 2 years. In many ways working is logistically harder, but SAH was mind numbing and depressing. I returned to workat at a 60k salary and now 6 years later Im pushing 200. Though my DH does jot have a family friendly career my income covers a housekeeper/ nanny between the hours of 1pm-5pm. I do no laundry, no grocery shopping, no errand running, no Costco runs...housekeeper even gets dinner prepped and kids off the bus and started on homework. I get to come home at 5 and enjoy the kids. I feel like having a life outside the home makes me appreciate even more what I've got at home.

Anonymous wrote:OP, does your DH expect you to go back to work when your child is in ES? Are you guys planning on having more?

OP here. My husband doesn't expect me to go back to work. My salary was so low that it doesn't really make a lot of sense, when I could be available for sick days, snow days, etc. My husband is in a very family un-friendly line of work, and taking sick days at all or having to leave work for childcare reasons is frowned upon. I would like to work part-time when my child is in school.

I don't know if I want to have any more kids. I feel completely overwhelmed with one. Having no family in the area/no support system/never getting a break makes it really hard to think about having more than one.

Anonymous wrote:What neighborhood are you in?

OP here. I'm in the far flung suburbs in NoVA--Chantilly.

OP, does your DH expect you to go back to work when your child is in ES? Are you guys planning on having more?

I am in a very similar situation with a DH that works long hours and from a low payin field I have no interest in returning to. I never seriously considered returning to work because it wouldn't have made practical sense for our family, but I felt the same way. I hope the mothers helper and volunteer work help. Find a babysitter and schedule nights out with your old friends for when your DH travels so you have something to look forward to and can take a day off from the dinner and bedtime routine. I also had a hard time meeting SAH parent friends when I lived in DC, most went back to work eventually. We moved to a suburb and I have made more friends here. I also made a couple of friends through music classes and that sort of thing, but it's hit or miss. I was in the class for 2 sessions and only made one friend, but that was worth it. You could also look into a moms day out type preschool program one morning a week, and eventually build up to more often. DS is in 2 mornings a week preschool and it is great for both of us.

I will say you are in what I found the be the most difficult stage. It was hard to go anywhere because DS wanted to crawl on dirty floors and hated to be confined to the stroller. Once he started walking things got much better. Playgrounds became more fun, we went to a lot of museums during the day and he could toddle around. Now he's 2.5 and it is so much better, he has interests and we can do a lot more fun things. There are still days that are long and lonely, but in balance I enjoy it much more now.

What neighborhood are you in?