Anonymous wrote:There's a school of fundraising that says you should always ask big and that people tend be flattered rather than put off if you ask them for an amount well outside their capacity (They think I'm rich, I must be doing something right!) As others have suggested, I would just say: "We love school x, but that just won't be possible for us. I would be happy to make a small donation of y."

I have kids in two well-regarded independent schools. When one invited us in and asked big I assumed they were either smoking crack or utterly incompetent. It made me lose faith in the school, their development office, and I didn't trust they were competent to handle my money. The other school was so much more competent, clearly had done their homework on what we could give, and we wound up giving them the exact amount they asked for. Having parents call is inherently problematic, mostly because many making the calls are clueless.

OP, those calls can be annoying, but bear in mind that calls like that are part of the reason you were able to receive financial aid from the school, so I would think of it in those more positive terms.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was this SSSAS and did they ask for at least $3500? Because they called me last night and did just that.

No, but similar amount!

Well, this is SSSAS PP here. The lady called my cell, asked to speak to my mom or dad, so I told her I'm sorry but they are dead. I didn't know who this person was, didn't recognize the number on the caller ID. So then there was this long awkward silence. And then the lady asked for me specifically, and I said, yes, this is she. And then she read her script about how she's another parent, in a different grade, and she's so happy we donated last year, but could we please at least meet the difference between tuition and what it costs to teach my child, which was around $3,500. It is a HUGE jump from our previous donation. I told her I would need to speak to my husband, who wasn't home at the time, and she said, oh you can just give me your credit card and we can just put it on there. That's when I felt it was really awkward. Like I just give some random person who claims to be calling from my kids' school all my CC info????? She probably was legit, but most times I give a pledge for a school, the school sends me something in writing and then I return it with a check. Or I can play it myself online. Also I had told her I couldn't commit, and she kept pushing. And why call me at 6pm, for the love of God, it's never ever a good time to talk.

My HS from my hometown recruits other women from my specific graduating class, and they either get a phone card from the school or they come over to the school and call their own classmates. I enjoy getting these calls to catch up with old friends,there is never any pressure. Wish it could always be like that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as soon as I hear that the school is taking donations for the Annual Fund, I whip out my check book (well, I do it online these days). If you donate early you don't get a phone call. We also get substantial financial aid so our donation is small, but as several PPs have pointed out, the school is looking for participation.

Same here. I write the check, a regrettably small one, the very first day that the annual fund is promoted. I would never want to get a call from my child's classmates' much wealthier parents!

I agree too and you don't have to call them back. Find the way to donate online or go into the office and submit a check in a sealed envelope. They are looking for the percentage and not the $$ amount. Your name will come off the call list.

That said, we too are on a good amount of FA and I have taught my middle schooler to save some of her own money (babysitting, birthday etc..) and make a contribution as well. Give back the the school that is giving you a great education. And like you already are - volunteer and get involved. It is not always the "money" moms that help. Lots of average moms are there too and want to get involved. Good Luck!

Anonymous wrote:I make the calls and they are awkward... But we have companies and families that will match funds and/or make donations if we get a certain percentage of families donating ... so $25 is a bigger deal than you think it is.

Just say, yes we plan to donate this year but don't know how much yet and will donate online. The callers get updated lists so they should stop calling if you donate something.

Yes, OP, this is the correct way to handle it. We ALWAYS just say, Yes, we will donate but do not give an amount. You do not have to tell them how much and HONESTLY, most folks dont. Over the MANY YEARS OUR KIDS HAVE BEEN IN PRIVATE we have never specified an amount but always give. My DH's job is largely commissioned based so our donations have varied from $250.00 to a couple thosnad depending on our situation at the end of the fiscal year. Dont worry, I know we are in the norm, in not committing to an amount. The only families who do that tend to be the ones who give in the ten-twenty thousands and up. And the ones who give millions dont get called.

Anonymous wrote:

No one is talking about FA families. There are plenty of non FA families, ike myself, who are in no position to give $3,500. A good development office will know who has the potential to give large dollars. Of course they call everyone but they are always aware of the large donors who can give $3,500 or more.

Well in any case it would be bad form (in my opinion) to give parents info on who the dev. office thinks can give big, or by omission, small. Easier just to ask everyone for big. And you can bet that the extra big asks are being weeded out and done individually. Schools don't consider the gap a big ask.

There's a school of fundraising that says you should always ask big and that people tend be flattered rather than put off if you ask them for an amount well outside their capacity (They think I'm rich, I must be doing something right!) As others have suggested, I would just say: "We love school x, but that just won't be possible for us. I would be happy to make a small donation of y."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like the development office did not do a good job of weeding out prospects for the person to call.

They know who has the potential to give high amounts and who doesn't, even those new to the school.

Sounds like the school needs ot do a better job of giving those making calls prospects for the higher levels.

This is a tough position because you don't want to "out" FA families. I have now had kids in private for 10 years and we too were shocked at first about these calls and the letters from classmate's parents that directly discussed our annual giving. We do as another suggested and donate right away to avoid the conversation. However, I think they call everyone and ask them if they can to cover the gap. You can just say next time, "thanks for reminding me. We are going to contribute to the annual fund." No need to mention amount or feel obligated to give the gap. Our income has grown a lot since our kids began school and we still give as we feel comfortable, whether it was $50 some years or $500 others.

No one is talking about FA families. There are plenty of non FA families, ike myself, who are in no position to give $3,500. A good development office will know who has the potential to give large dollars. Of course they call everyone but they are always aware of the large donors who can give $3,500 or more.

Anonymous wrote:I don't like the fact that parents make the calls. Whether you give a small or large amount, I feel like it's private. I was shocked that parents have access to that information. I would prefer that a school employee make those fundraising calls and keep everything confidential. Just my opinion.

At our school, the parent callers do not have access to any prior giving information. We simply call those who have not given to gently encourage giving and answer any questions about the process.

I don't like the fact that parents make the calls. Whether you give a small or large amount, I feel like it's private. I was shocked that parents have access to that information. I would prefer that a school employee make those fundraising calls and keep everything confidential. Just my opinion.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like the development office did not do a good job of weeding out prospects for the person to call.

They know who has the potential to give high amounts and who doesn't, even those new to the school.

Sounds like the school needs ot do a better job of giving those making calls prospects for the higher levels.

This is a tough position because you don't want to "out" FA families. I have now had kids in private for 10 years and we too were shocked at first about these calls and the letters from classmate's parents that directly discussed our annual giving. We do as another suggested and donate right away to avoid the conversation. However, I think they call everyone and ask them if they can to cover the gap. You can just say next time, "thanks for reminding me. We are going to contribute to the annual fund." No need to mention amount or feel obligated to give the gap. Our income has grown a lot since our kids began school and we still give as we feel comfortable, whether it was $50 some years or $500 others.

Anonymous wrote:OP, as soon as I hear that the school is taking donations for the Annual Fund, I whip out my check book (well, I do it online these days). If you donate early you don't get a phone call. We also get substantial financial aid so our donation is small, but as several PPs have pointed out, the school is looking for participation.

Same here. I write the check, a regrettably small one, the very first day that the annual fund is promoted. I would never want to get a call from my child's classmates' much wealthier parents!

This is how it is done. Just follow up with them first and let them know that you will be donating xx much without explanation.

Another parent caller here. Our school does not encourage a specific dollar amount during calls, but some of our talking points include the "gap" between tuition and the actual cost per student. For some donors, this can be a helpful number to understand, but for others it is a bit intimidating. We also send out an email before the phone calls to encourage parents to go online and donate so they can get off the call list. And as others have said, it is often about getting percentages up - foundations and other big donors want to see that the school's community is invested.

Anonymous wrote:DH did this for our school, although I don't think he ever suggested people donate huge amounts of money. I guess the schools ask parents to do this because their letter solicitations don't get a lot of responses. I agree, it's no fun for anyone.
They really care about the percent of families that participate. So you'll be helping with that measure by donating even a small amount.

I'd just say something like, "We have a tight budget right now but we're really eager to help because we know it goes to a good cause. So we're donating $XXX." The parent should accept that. If the parent tries to negotiate you up, that's really bad.

Exactly. I used to work as a fundraiser for a private school, and hated this practice though my head/volunteer committee/board insisted on it. OP, please know that the parent didn't pick a number out of a hat. They were given that number by the development office (which is often bumped up higher by the head, to be honest). I agree that PP's response is the right way to go. At a private school, you will always be asked for money. It's just the way that it is. Give a small amount to be counted for annual participation and move on.