Anonymous wrote:How old is the baby? Or is she still pregnant?

I had a hard time mustering up sex drive during first trimester because I had read too many stories about sex causing miscarriage. I don't think that's accurate, but it was hard to stop thinking about it.

Post-birth, it took a good 4 months before it didn't hurt like hell to have sex.

Try being affectionate without making sex be a goal -- even tell her, I'm not looking for actual sex, just want to be physically affectionate.

We are in the first trimester. No morning sickness, and although she complains she is the heaviest she has ever been in her entire life, none of that can be baby weight at this point.

My wife is chubby bordering on plain old fat. She has been since I met her (though she is heavier now). I was attracted to her then and am now, but she really doesn't like herself or her weight and that creeps into everything. I realize the baby will mean more weight, and I'm understanding. I find sexual enthusiasm much more exciting than a perfect body. The enthusiasm is lacking...10000% lacking.

I'm hoping that a year down the road, after she recovers from the pregnancy and childbirth, that the enthusiasm returns. I still kind of hope the pregnancy hormones kick in and give her drive a goose.

Yes. 2-3x a week.

Anonymous wrote:No...nothing since we conceived. Wife's drive wasn't great before, and post-marital weight gain (and the body image issues) kind of made her even more inhibited. We were sliding into procreative only mode already...now nothing...4 weeks. I've stopped trying to initiate - I'll try touching and other affection that let her know I'm interested, but I'm not up for the rejection. I don't have ED at all, but I'm no longer able to get aroused with her because she just lays there...is not interested and has tense body language. We're in a tailspin and I fear we're gonna auger-in.

I give up...I'm destined to a life of masturbation. Nothing new since I was a teenager I guess.

How old is the baby? Or is she still pregnant?

I had a hard time mustering up sex drive during first trimester because I had read too many stories about sex causing miscarriage. I don't think that's accurate, but it was hard to stop thinking about it.

Post-birth, it took a good 4 months before it didn't hurt like hell to have sex.

Try being affectionate without making sex be a goal -- even tell her, I'm not looking for actual sex, just want to be physically affectionate.

Anonymous wrote:yes - it was a relatively quick romp at about 30 minutes but really intense (long build up that started while I was on a late conference call).

usually 3 or 4 nights per week (just depends who is kid free) and 2-3x per night.

~divorced dad

Quick for us is 5 minutes!
Was your sex life good with your ex or is this anew lease on life?

No! My DW has had ongoing medical issues this year! Before that we had sex about twice a week and crazy sex about once a month.

I remember the days, when we first met each other, and we would stay up all night having sex, get only a couple of hours of sleep, and be good to go. We would repeat that all week long. The weekends were for catching up on sleep and even more sex! I MISS THOSE DAYS!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No...nothing since we conceived. Wife's drive wasn't great before, and post-marital weight gain (and the body image issues) kind of made her even more inhibited. We were sliding into procreative only mode already...now nothing...4 weeks. I've stopped trying to initiate - I'll try touching and other affection that let her know I'm interested, but I'm not up for the rejection. I don't have ED at all, but I'm no longer able to get aroused with her because she just lays there...is not interested and has tense body language. We're in a tailspin and I fear we're gonna auger-in.

I give up...I'm destined to a life of masturbation. Nothing new since I was a teenager I guess.

This is a really tough time. Don't assume that you're doomed for the rest of your life.

I sure hope not. I'm older so I guess I'm fortunate my drive isn't what it used to be. If this turns permanent, I'm definitely going to have to find out about getting permission to get my needs met elsewhere. I'm really excited we are pregnant - it's early, so I hope it sticks - and I love her to death, but I'm not ready to have no more sex for the rest of my life. In the meantime, I'm back to masturbating regularly.

Anonymous wrote:yes - it was a relatively quick romp at about 30 minutes but really intense (long build up that started while I was on a late conference call).

usually 3 or 4 nights per week (just depends who is kid free) and 2-3x per night.

~divorced dad

30 min is quick? Wow I've never had a guy go longer then 10 minutes and in the last few years I'm lucky for 1 min. This comes from a single girl who hasn't had sex in 6 months.

Yes. 3 - 4X/week, married 15 years.

Yes.

Average 5 times a week. Over the weekend 4 times in a 24 hour period. We impressed ourselves. Married 12 years.

Anonymous wrote:No. We had been cuddling on the couch. Then I wanted to initiate. But I was mindful of all the DCUM women who say that you shouldn't make your wife think you're cuddling because you want sex. Which I wasn't. But I didn't want her to think I was. So I was too much in my head and, end result, I didn't initiate and we didn't have sex.

Of course, if we don't do something like cuddle first, then it'll be my fault when she turns me down because you can't just go 0 - to sex and expect her to be into it.

Normally we have sex about twice a month.

I think too much too. It's not a good thing in this instance. Go with your instincts.

Anonymous wrote:No. We had been cuddling on the couch. Then I wanted to initiate. But I was mindful of all the DCUM women who say that you shouldn't make your wife think you're cuddling because you want sex. Which I wasn't. But I didn't want her to think I was. So I was too much in my head and, end result, I didn't initiate and we didn't have sex.

Of course, if we don't do something like cuddle first, then it'll be my fault when she turns me down because you can't just go 0 - to sex and expect her to be into it.

Normally we have sex about twice a month.

I'm with you Brah.

Mid morning. Working from home has it's perks.
But I haven't been as interested in it lately. A lot of family stress so I haven't been in the mood. So 1-2 a week now. Once I'm not as stressed it will go back to 2-3 times.

Had it this morning. 3-5x a week.

I feel sorry for you 2x a month or less people. I'd be out of there because sex is more than "sex isn't everything."

Once you hear those words, you've got a bad one.

No. DW and I don't do it much anymore.

No. We had been cuddling on the couch. Then I wanted to initiate. But I was mindful of all the DCUM women who say that you shouldn't make your wife think you're cuddling because you want sex. Which I wasn't. But I didn't want her to think I was. So I was too much in my head and, end result, I didn't initiate and we didn't have sex.

Of course, if we don't do something like cuddle first, then it'll be my fault when she turns me down because you can't just go 0 - to sex and expect her to be into it.

Normally we have sex about twice a month.