Anonymous wrote:No, you can't do that. That is crazy.

This.

Ask her to keep it in the bedroom where she is sleeping because you are limiting your kid's screentime.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your DH say?

I bet he is not allowed to talk when not asked.

+1 Good guess. Unless he's actively engaging with the kids of course.

If I was your MiL and you told me this I would say sweetie I'm bringing the iPad end of discussion. You can't control an adult. Just wait until your children turn 18 oh the horror

Anonymous wrote:Even if someone could tell a grown woman she cannot bring her iPad to their house, that someone would need to be your husband, not you. It's his mother. If he shares your concerns perhaps he could talk to his mother about spending more time interacting with her grandchildren while she's present in your home. But you cannot tell your houseguest to leave her iPad at home and be within the bounds of good manners.

+1. If it's really that big an issue, just say your WiFi is broken and hope she doesn't have 3G on her iPad. If she does, I think you're just out of luck. I don't see how you can win this one. She does sound rude but there's no real way for you to control her to this extent. Let your DH handle it, and if he won't, just have an extra glass of mulled wine and complain to your friends.

You cant control her. You can control yourself. It would be terribly rude to ask that however, you can have certain rules in your home.
We dont allow electronics at the table.
We are opening gifts at 6 pm.
The girls are only allowed 30 min of screentime a day - including Facetime calls.
Set what standards work for you and your family and let your MIL choose her behaviors. She can sit in the guest room for the first 20 min of dinner if she wants to make that Facetime call. She can miss gift opening if she wants to take another. And if she wants to play solitaire she can miss out on quality time with her grandchildren. I would also plan activities that would limit ipad use if I wanted to try to encourage more quality time.
Recognize that its her choice not yours and although its upsetting to feel second class to her other family and her ipad, there is nothing you can do about it and its her loss.

I don't think you can do this, OP, b/c like others have said, you are the one who will come off looking crazy.

But I agree that what your MIL is doing is obnoxious and very strange. My MIL texts like a crazy teenager and it too completely annoys me. I don't know why she cannot be present in one place and not constantly have to be texting everything that is going on to her daughter, her sister, her niece. I feel like these other ladies are practically present with us and that MIL, in addition to her myriad other problems, has a screentime problem.

But I pick my battles and just silently and privately roll my eyes at her adolescent behavior.

Anonymous wrote:DH: "Mom, we're trying to limit the kids' screen time, so if you could limit your use of the iPad to the guest room, that would be great." Of course, that means the other adults have to comply and limit their time on electronics.

I think this is the only thing that could work. Maybe suggest that she bring it out at a certain time so your kids can skype with their cousins, but otherwise ask that she use it elsewhere. and it should be DH who suggests it.

If she is really facetiming the other kids as much as you say, I feel bad for them. Who wants to spend their whole day on facetime with Grandma?

My MIL does this with her laptop and it makes me crazy. She is constantly trying to Facetime her family all over the place to "show off" her granddaughter. DD usually has other stuff she wants to do though, and does not want to be the dog and pony show on Facetime every day. Or MIL needs to endlessly catch up on Facebook and read out her friends' posts to us (we don't even know these people!).

Luckily, MIL generally is trying to do this in the family room right off the kitchen, so we just go about our normal routine -- coffee grinder is going off, dog is tromping through, I'm washing up dishes and banging pots, DD is going in and out singing silly songs or doing gymnastics. Eventually, I think it's irritating enough that she moves to the guestroom or turns off the laptop. We also try to get out and about as much as we can (FIL has slowed down a lot, so that can be tough). Or I give her a job to do (she's always asking) -- can you get some parsley from the garden? Would you mind bringing up the towels from the laundry room? Etc.

Good luck. And, I agree, you can't tell her that she can't bring electronics along.

Anonymous wrote:Could the wifi in your house go down while she"s there?

If it has 3G enabled, that won't do anything. If it doesn't, she could still play the games/anything that doesn't require an internet connection, so I doubt this would be a really effective solution...

Anonymous wrote:DH: "Mom, we're trying to limit the kids' screen time, so if you could limit your use of the iPad to the guest room, that would be great." Of course, that means the other adults have to comply and limit their time on electronics.

Yup, this is what I would do. I'd also make a "no electronics at the table rule" if need be. And disable the wireless would be kind of funny too.

I get it. This kind of shit would piss me off too. My in-laws come visit and basically ignore my kids too. THen they bitch that they never see us.

You are the one stressing yourself out, OP.

Don't put yourself in the situation where you are the rude one. Accept that MIL is a flawed individual.

Let go of the dream grandparent-grandchild relationship too. It doesn't happen that way for most of us.

DH: "Mom, we're trying to limit the kids' screen time, so if you could limit your use of the iPad to the guest room, that would be great." Of course, that means the other adults have to comply and limit their time on electronics.

I really wouldn't go there, OP. This could be one of many reasons why she doesn't feel as close to your children as she does to the others. It's kind of strange that you even think of this. You have quite a lot of expectations for other people ... you may want to think about giving that up a bit. You cannot control people around you to create the perfect Christmas.

Controlling and obnoxious. Flip the wifi off when you don't want her on the iPad. You'll be like the Wizard of Oz behind the curtain, but you'll at least avoid everyone knowing what a jerk you can be.