Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are usually annoyed by qualities in others that we have but do not acknowledge.

Well yes sometimes. But sometimes it really is actual differences that annoy us so much!

So you are acknowledging you are intolerant. Thus, you are the problem not your mil.

Um, no. I'm not OP. And I'm fortunate to have a super cool MIL. But thanks for demonstrating (which is far more effective than "admitting") that you are so interested in proving your point you're willing to jump to all sorts of conclusions for no apparent good reason. Or didn't you know that other people can also respond to posts on DCUM and we're not all OP?

Anonymous wrote:Deflecting is a desperate measure.

There isn't any deflecting here but there are some ugly reflections.

Deflecting is a desperate measure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are usually annoyed by qualities in others that we have but do not acknowledge.

Well yes sometimes. But sometimes it really is actual differences that annoy us so much!

So you are acknowledging you are intolerant. Thus, you are the problem not your mil.

NP here. Lordy, spare us. You are tiresome. Your spin is so predictable. You need a new approach. Time to start your own thread, dear, dear MIL.

Lordy, you are predictable. Not a mil and not even close. You are once again demonstrating your intolerance by suggesting someone who disagrees with you should post elsewhere. Look in the mirror for the problem, honey.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are usually annoyed by qualities in others that we have but do not acknowledge.

Well yes sometimes. But sometimes it really is actual differences that annoy us so much!

"Actual differences?" Surely you jest! (sarcasm).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are usually annoyed by qualities in others that we have but do not acknowledge.

Well yes sometimes. But sometimes it really is actual differences that annoy us so much!

So you are acknowledging you are intolerant. Thus, you are the problem not your mil.

NP here. Lordy, spare us. You are tiresome. Your spin is so predictable. You need a new approach. Time to start your own thread, dear, dear MIL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are usually annoyed by qualities in others that we have but do not acknowledge.

Well yes sometimes. But sometimes it really is actual differences that annoy us so much!

So you are acknowledging you are intolerant. Thus, you are the problem not your mil.

Anonymous wrote:We are usually annoyed by qualities in others that we have but do not acknowledge.

Well yes sometimes. But sometimes it really is actual differences that annoy us so much!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could not be more opposite than MIL. That REALLY sets her off!

Do you think in some subconscious way she sees it as her son rejecting her? Not suggesting this is a big deal, but that's an interesting observation you made and this just occurred to me as a possibility...

You are extremely wise. That is exactly what it is. This is the smartest, most insightful thing I have read here in a long time! Are you a professional? Because my MIL needs one

Seriously.

My mere presence annoys her. I can not be sullen, downtrodden, and dwelling on the negative like her, and she has a problem with that. Her favorite topics are people's ailments. After my sitting bedside for months by different dying relatives, its not really my favorite subject. I have lived it. It would ever occur to her to do that for anyone. Ever. This is just one example. She's just ungrateful, and tries to deflect all the time. It's tiresome. She's the "maybe its you" type that we all know. I'm thinking if she knew anything about me, she would know better. We don't talk much, she wants to control every situation, and we have nothing in common. I've given up on her, which is not my norm.

I'm a pseudo-professional, so it's probably best I just remain an "armchair psychologist" for now . But I'm glad I hit the nail on the head about your MIL!

We are usually annoyed by qualities in others that we have but do not acknowledge.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could not be more opposite than MIL. That REALLY sets her off!

Do you think in some subconscious way she sees it as her son rejecting her? Not suggesting this is a big deal, but that's an interesting observation you made and this just occurred to me as a possibility...

You are extremely wise. That is exactly what it is. This is the smartest, most insightful thing I have read here in a long time! Are you a professional? Because my MIL needs one

Seriously.

My mere presence annoys her. I can not be sullen, downtrodden, and dwelling on the negative like her, and she has a problem with that. Her favorite topics are people's ailments. After my sitting bedside for months by different dying relatives, its not really my favorite subject. I have lived it. It would ever occur to her to do that for anyone. Ever. This is just one example. She's just ungrateful, and tries to deflect all the time. It's tiresome. She's the "maybe its you" type that we all know. I'm thinking if she knew anything about me, she would know better. We don't talk much, she wants to control every situation, and we have nothing in common. I've given up on her, which is not my norm.

Anonymous wrote:I could not be more opposite than MIL. That REALLY sets her off!

Do you think in some subconscious way she sees it as her son rejecting her? Not suggesting this is a big deal, but that's an interesting observation you made and this just occurred to me as a possibility...

I could not be more opposite than MIL. That REALLY sets her off!

Complaining about certain habits = petty.

Trying to fit a square peg into a round hole = not so petty.

I have every intention of being (not just saying I am) warm and welcoming when I am a MIL. I imagine that could only be "money in the bank" for me! Is that using too much common sense?

Anonymous wrote:My favorite are the posters who complain about their in-laws including them on a beach vacation.

I know, if I have only one week vacation (every 18 months), I want it to be in a prefab house overflowing with people who don't even talk to each other. Situated on a main highway. And I definitely want us all to have to sleep in one bed. That is MY ideal vacation, after all. I especially love it when I come home from that vacation sick every year, because Lord knows MIL would rather stay in her house and rot than help out her generous son and his family, when his wife is bedridden by no fault of her own.

Because we don't "deserve" a nice, clean, quiet vacation in a nice place of our choice. Because you didn't get any say in your "marriage", or any of your life. Right, bitter MIL? Is that more like it? We should all be as bitter as you? No thanks. Life is too short. If I have one week of vacation every 18 months, it's not going to be with you. It's fairly obvious you hated me before you even set eyes on me.