Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 21:25     Subject: Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
Anonymous wrote:Agree with the above -- you are allowed to give them a gift that is neither cash nor on the registry, thereby saving yourself some money. If you go with something simple and tasteful -- and assuming they aren't jerks -- they won't care; for example a nice simple vase or other glassware. Unless they are glass experts, they won't know or be able to track back how much it costs.

If that seems to "obvious" for you, you can likely do an "experience" gift for less than $200. What are they into? If they went to the same college or have a local sports team they like, a fun present would be 2 tix to a game. It's such an "unexpected" wedding present that they won't even care that they aren't luxury seats, esp if they come with a thoughtful card along the lines of "hope you enjoy a night out after the wedding hecticness."


Aww, I like this! There's no way that every day of their married lives is going to spent amongst Waterford crystal and limoge china, a low key fun day at the ball field or an amusement park sound fun!
And I am totally on board with borrowing a dress or checking out consignment!
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 21:17     Subject: Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
Maybe try a consignment shop for you?
I bought a floor length, black dress a Auntie Te's consignment store in Annandale last spring for $12 and wore it to a black for wedding.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 21:15     Subject: Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
Anonymous wrote:I would give $500. Get a cheaper dress that looks expensive. You got good advice on the suits. Find a way to afford it. A few hundred isn't a big deal.


Dear clueless. She can't afford $200. Are you going to kick in the extra $300.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 21:14     Subject: Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
Anonymous wrote:Agree with the above -- you are allowed to give them a gift that is neither cash nor on the registry, thereby saving yourself some money. If you go with something simple and tasteful -- and assuming they aren't jerks -- they won't care; for example a nice simple vase or other glassware. Unless they are glass experts, they won't know or be able to track back how much it costs.

If that seems to "obvious" for you, you can likely do an "experience" gift for less than $200. What are they into? If they went to the same college or have a local sports team they like, a fun present would be 2 tix to a game. It's such an "unexpected" wedding present that they won't even care that they aren't luxury seats, esp if they come with a thoughtful card along the lines of "hope you enjoy a night out after the wedding hecticness."


This is what I would recommend. Just get them something nice that needn't be expensive and they will never know. Cash as a gift is super tacky anyway.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 21:12     Subject: Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
eBay! Seriously. Get a long dress for $25 and keep it. Black suit white shirt for husband. Also I have been to many black tie wedding and you can get away with a nice cocktail dress
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 20:51     Subject: Re:Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
This dress would be perfect for a black tie event and only $35 to rent!

https://m.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/badgleymischka_dresses/fifthavenueshowstopperdress
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 20:43     Subject: Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
Rent the runway is incredible! $50 for my dress last week instead of $500.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 20:38     Subject: Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
I've gotten some great deals on the Nordstrom website for dresses...you can search for just clearance gowns. Also gotten some good deals at the Rack but it's more hit or miss. I once wore a Chinese style silk dress that was super pretty but not expensive.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 20:07     Subject: Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
Anonymous wrote:We are invited to a relative's black-tie wedding. He makes a lot of money - the bride comes from an extremely well off family. The bride just had her shower where everyting on her registry was well over $100. I ended up getting a $50 gift card and was embarrassed when she opened it after opening lavish gifts. Everyone there was dressed to the nines - I looked like grandma by comparison - except her grandma looked like a queen.

We typically give $200 cash for family weddings and were planning on doing the same for this wedding. Except now my husband has to rent a tux ($150) and i will need to buy a gown ($150). So now we are over our wedding budget by $100 already just for clothing! I don't buy a new dress for events and just rotate through the few I already own.

Anyway - other family members are not happy about the black tie requirement. I get that it is their wedding and they can make this requirement - but we feel a little trapped. We want to go to the wedding, but we don't want to break their rules and ruin the pictures or the formality of the event.

A couple people told us that my husband can wear a black suit with a white shirt (which he has) and I can probably find something long, yet tacky at the juniros section at Macy's - but I really want to feel good about myself when I am there - not ashamed like Iwas at the shower. I guess I could decline, but like I said, it is a cousin and would like to attend. Advice? Ideas for cheap tuxes and formal gowns?


Use renttherunway.com. Specifically https://m.renttherunway.com/dress/search/lengths-floor_length You can get a stunning gown for $100 and under and you get $25 off your first order.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 20:03     Subject: Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
Black suit, black dress, $200 gift and done.

Or don't go.

I actually like black tie because you don't have to buy anything new. My little black dress (have had for years) is perfect for a black tie wedding or funeral!
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 19:59     Subject: Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
Anonymous wrote:I would give $500. Get a cheaper dress that looks expensive. You got good advice on the suits. Find a way to afford it. A few hundred isn't a big deal.

Da Fuq???!
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 19:57     Subject: Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
Girl I just went to black tie event last week.
Two Words: Nordstrom Rack
Dress was $39.99
And I kid you not I received a million compliments.
Your DH can wear a black suit or a dark grey with nice white shirt and tie. Top and tails not necessary.
Don't stress and don't go if it is still out of your budget. It is a wedding, not the second coming.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 19:54     Subject: Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
Anonymous wrote:I would give $500. Get a cheaper dress that looks expensive. You got good advice on the suits. Find a way to afford it. A few hundred isn't a big deal.


Snort.

My advice:

1. Husband wears a black suit.
2. You borrow a dress or buy a dress at Value Village or at a consignment store.
3. You get them a nice present you can afford.
4. You go and have fun.

They're not better than you. They just have a lot more money.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 19:47     Subject: Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
Anonymous wrote:I would give $500. Get a cheaper dress that looks expensive. You got good advice on the suits. Find a way to afford it. A few hundred isn't a big deal.


I would never give $500, that is insane!
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 19:36     Subject: Black-tie wedding - how to afford?
Anonymous wrote:I would give $500. Get a cheaper dress that looks expensive. You got good advice on the suits. Find a way to afford it. A few hundred isn't a big deal.


I would never give $500, that is insane!