Anonymous wrote:I must be in a minority. Mine is punctual, often early to everything. Frequently says "if you are on time, you are late! If you are early, you are on time!" I think it's a military thing.

I'm the first PP on page 2, and DH is former military. :/

*might, not make

Sorry PP, but your post made me laugh b/c I'm the 00:10 poster with the DH who finally got on meds at age 50 to our utter relief. I can empathize!

The youngest of our four children, a HS junior, also has attention issues, though she's not on any medication. Her time management "skills" (HA) are unbelievably poor. She spends 5 hours a night on HW for assignments that make take another child 2 hours. She can't make any estimates whatsoever and can spend an hour staring at a piece of paper.

Yes, yes, yes, my husband is the same. Sometimes I don't understand if he's just too stubborn to admit he's late, or if he truly doesn't comprehend. We'll be in the car 30 minutes away from his parent's house, running late as usual, and if his parents call to ask for an ETA, he'll say "we'll be there in 10 minutes."

If we need to leave our house at 7pm, he'll hop in the shower at 6:45 believing he can be completely ready in 15 minutes. Well...at 7:30 he'll still be shoeless and saying "I'm ready, let's go! I just have to put on my shoes, find my wallet (which could be anywhere from the bathroom to the basement or maybe left in the car or seriously maybe on the front porch), brush my teeth, fill my water bottle, and check the engine oil. We're fine!" (just like an above poster mentioned!).

The WORST was the day of my scheduled C-section. OMG. He was running late, and every step of the way I was saying "no, you do NOT have time for a shower, come on!" . . . "You're shaving??? Please, we have to get going in like 5 minutes!" . . . "You don't have time to make toast, just eat a muffin at the hospital!!!" . . . "NO WE DO NOT NEED TO STOP FOR GAS!!" All the while, he was so nonchalantly frittering away the morning. I was pissed, but it was the day of our child's birth so I held back.

I hate it that he never apologizes to anybody for being late either. I'm always the one who has to tell people "sorry we're late," but he just does not see it as necessary whatsoever.

Many many times when he is to meet us somewhere, and is running late, I'll call him (he would never think to call to say he's running late) him, and he'll say "I'll be there in like 10 minutes." So I tell the others "he says 10 minutes, so you know that means he'll be here in about 30 minutes."

Anonymous wrote:My best guy friend is like this. He is the polar opposite of ADD. Instead, he focuses so deeply on a project that hours are minutes to him - I've never seen anything like it. Extremely high IQ and self-directed, so he just gets absorbed and loses any sense of time. Crazy smart people always have quirks!

Re: the above quote, hyperfocus is actually a sign of ADD. My husband has ADD and takes medication for it, and he has a combination of hyperfocus and more typical symptoms.

From http://add.about.com/od/adhdthebasics/a/Hyperfocus.htm (emphasis mine):

Kathleen Nadeau explains this phenomenon in her book, Adventures in Fast Forward. “In actuality, ADD is not a ‘deficit’ of attention, but a disorder in which individuals have much less control over their responses to stimuli,” writes Nadeau. They are unable to regulate their attention. Though they may have extreme difficulty focusing, organizing, and completing certain mundane tasks, they are often able to focus intently on other activities that interest them. This tendency to become absorbed in tasks that are stimulating and rewarding is called hyperfocus.

It is not unusual for these individuals to become so immersed in a task that they are oblivious to everything else going on around them. You may have experienced this when your child is playing a video game and you try to get his attention. You call to him. No answer. You call louder. No answer. Finally, raising your voice to a shout, you may get a quick, annoyed look!

Since my husband has taken medication, he has had much greater control over his behavior and time management. There's been an amazing improvement. It only took him 50 years to get diagnosed.

This is me, and my DH is more like you. I have trouble estimating time and distances and I am easily distracted. I don't have trouble functioning, so I'd hesitate to say I have ADD, but if there is an ADD "spectrum", I'm definitely on it, lol.

But some of it is definitely attitude. It really bothers DH to be late, for anything. I don't like to keep people waiting, but if no one is specifically waiting for me, I don't care if I am late. (Eg, when we are going to a party.)

Anonymous wrote:My husband is the exact opposite: wants to be everywhere early and/or on time. Causes all sorts of stress for me, and I am just angry the whole time we are there and "waiting for things to start." When I go to parties here I notice that most of the guests are "on time," which I consider very strange... I usually want to be there at least 15 minutes "late" to give the host time for last minute preparations. Yes, I am from the South....

You notice most people here are on time because...that is what time you are supposed to be there. Don't blame the south. I grew up there too. We were always on time.

My husband is the exact opposite: wants to be everywhere early and/or on time. Causes all sorts of stress for me, and I am just angry the whole time we are there and "waiting for things to start." When I go to parties here I notice that most of the guests are "on time," which I consider very strange... I usually want to be there at least 15 minutes "late" to give the host time for last minute preparations. Yes, I am from the South....

Anonymous wrote:My best guy friend is like this. He is the polar opposite of ADD. Instead, he focuses so deeply on a project that hours are minutes to him - I've never seen anything like it. Extremely high IQ and self-directed, so he just gets absorbed and loses any sense of time. Crazy smart people always have quirks!

This is my husband - exactly. Do I know you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best guy friend is like this. He is the polar opposite of ADD. Instead, he focuses so deeply on a project that hours are minutes to him - I've never seen anything like it. Extremely high IQ and self-directed, so he just gets absorbed and loses any sense of time. Crazy smart people always have quirks!

You should tell your "friend" that an inability to function because you are too engrossed in a task is a sign of an autism spectrum disorder, not of high IQ.

I shouldn't even bother replying to a post this rude or nasty, but he is actually my friend, and he is not autistic, and you are a jackass. If this is sort of thing YOU tell your "friends" (though I doubt you have any if this is your personality), you are the one with the personality disorder.

Anonymous wrote:My best guy friend is like this. He is the polar opposite of ADD. Instead, he focuses so deeply on a project that hours are minutes to him - I've never seen anything like it. Extremely high IQ and self-directed, so he just gets absorbed and loses any sense of time. Crazy smart people always have quirks!

You should tell your "friend" that an inability to function because you are too engrossed in a task is a sign of an autism spectrum disorder, not of high IQ.

I must be in a minority. Mine is punctual, often early to everything. Frequently says "if you are on time, you are late! If you are early, you are on time!" I think it's a military thing.

My best guy friend is like this. He is the polar opposite of ADD. Instead, he focuses so deeply on a project that hours are minutes to him - I've never seen anything like it. Extremely high IQ and self-directed, so he just gets absorbed and loses any sense of time. Crazy smart people always have quirks!

Are ALL husbands like mine????!!!!

I now manage him just like the kids. I set a timer for ten min before we have to leave, and when it goes off, I tell the kids to go use the restroom and put on their shoes. And then I say, you too dear.

His idea of being "ready to go right now" is only having to use the restroom, fix his hair, use mouthwash, make his coffee, look for his keys, phone, blah blah blah. Then 15 minutes later, we'll have the fight where I say "ready to go means ready to go out the door right this second," and he'll say "I am ready to go right this second. I only had to use the restroom"

I also have to lie to him about when we have to leave for something by about a half-hour. This gets us there on time most of the time.

What kills me is when he goes on and on about how his family is always late for stuff and we are always on time. Really, dear?