Anonymous wrote:I think it depends in large part on whether the parents have the money and want to spend it this way. If they have it and the elite education is important to them, sure, go with #1 if you want. If they can pay for it only by saddling themselves and/or their child with huge debt, then the only responsible answer is #2.
That said, I think there can be great benefit to being a big fish in college, being tapped for research opportunities, noticed by professors, etc.
Also note that there is a #3: Non-elite private colleges that offer merit aid. Sometimes the COA at these schools can be close to in-state public. This is the route to consider if your child prefers a small school to large.
FWIW, OP's scenario describes my family situation. DC will be applying to a mix of in-state publics (we are in VA) and non-elite privates. We are not even considering privates that don't give merit aid.
+1
We are applying to a couple of SLAC reaches, but DD knows she ain't going to them. She just wants to see if she gets in.
OP, I'd choose #2. Saddling yourself and your kid with a lot of debt just so they can say they went to Prestige U is silly. They can go to Prestige Grad School. That's what counts anyway. Lots and lots of very successful people went to no-name state schools.