my parents were not frugal, even though they made a decent middle (and at times upper middle) income for most of their professional lives, and now have very little of an accumulated nest egg to show for it. I am an only child and feel a sense of responsibility to help them in their old age now that they are retired (luckily my mom has a good pension with cost of living adjustments).


We also went through a period when my father lost his job (after the 1987 Black Monday stock market crash) and had to cut our living standard essentially to 1/3 what it originally was. He was eventually able to find work again, but at a completely different level of compensation. Luckily, my mom's job kept us going, but we had to sell the house in the suburbs, and move to a 2 BR apt. That had a big impact on me.

So I guess my frugality is a reaction to both of those things. Having a large savings cushion is a security thing for me. Also, will always live below our means, in case one of us loses our jobs. We purchased a house affordable on one spouses income only. And even though we could afford for me to stay home with the kids, I can't see myself ever doing that, because I want to maintain the ability to support the family/myself in case of divorce/husband job loss, etc. We clip coupons, drive a ten year old car, brown bag lunch 90% of the time, don't shop high end fashions/beauty maintenance, cook at home, don't outsource housecleaning, garden services, etc. We are saving and investing 50% of our take home pay, which makes me happier than a Prada bag could ever do. But we spend on private school for the kids, and lots of kid activities and good, but not lavish vacations. Since my husband and I both didn't grow up with a lot of money (just middle class, not dcurbanmom "middle class", we already feel like we're doing better than our parents and feel quite satisfied with our quality of life. It doesn't bother me that we don't have fancy house or cars that other people in our peer group expect us to have, based on our income/professional status. HHI: 750K, equally split.

Being frugal does not come naturally to me and for the most part I hate it, but I am motivated by wanting to work less and have more time for my family. One nice side effect is that I'm also trying to declutter and not having an Amazon box show up every couple of days is helpful.

Anonymous wrote:Fear of having to eat cat food in old age? I would never spend 120 on a hamper. That is crazy.

I'm one of the frugal PPs. I'm very frugal, but on this I agree with the OP of that thread. I'd buy the $120 hamper. The cheap one I got is falling apart. Once upon a time I splurged on a simplehuman trash can for the kitchen (oddly shaped space, was the only one that would fit). It makes me happy every day. I wish I could splurge like that more often, but it's very hard for me to do from a psychological standpoint even if I have the money to spend.

I go in cycles. I spend freely for a while and then think to myself that I need to reign it in. Or I know that an expensive time is coming up. Back to school, new tires.. whatever.

I've been poor. Living on assistance, do I pay the power bill or buy food? poor. So most of the time I'm still watchful of my spending. Other times I think to hell with it, I'll spend. I DO overspend on food. But after a few years of shopping with a calculator in hand, leaving stuff behind I would rather spend on food. Once a month I have a "clean it up" week where I meal plan around what we have.

I guess for me it's part habit. I spend for a while and then almost panic, going over and over the budget with a "what if" frame of mind.

I don't want to worry about having money. My car needs new tires, and I wouldn't want to be in a place where that is a financial issue.

My parents were also frugal, although not to the extent of some of the PP. We were always taught, don't spend money you don't have, never carry a balance on cards, and always have money on reserve for a rainy day. Save lots for retirement.

There's nothing really that I want or need when it comes to things. I don't mind buying used things or even from dollar store. Wrapping paper shouldn't cost $4 for example.
I'm already semi-retired because I cut my spending and invested it instead.
I stopped wanting stuff along ago, but I'll still buy something I like but these things are hard to come by.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fear of having to eat cat food in old age? I would never spend 120 on a hamper. That is crazy.

How much would you spend ?

not PP but this will do just fine:

http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/hip-laundry-basket/1014597638?categoryId=10559

Not the PP but thanks for the laugh.

Sometimes it's the thrill of the bargain. I love shopping at my favorite thrift store and finding some designer piece of clothing that will go great with other items in my closet. The fact that I spent $5 on it gives me a rush. I have no desire to spend a lot of money on some things. But that doesn't mean I won't spend money. when it comes to getting my haircut, I drop $100 and have no qualms about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fear of having to eat cat food in old age? I would never spend 120 on a hamper. That is crazy.

How much would you spend ?

not PP but this will do just fine:

http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/hip-laundry-basket/1014597638?categoryId=10559

Anonymous wrote:Fear of having to eat cat food in old age? I would never spend 120 on a hamper. That is crazy.

How much would you spend ?

It is how I am - but also we have a very tight budget so part of it is necessity.

We were poor growing up and our parents still struggle. There is nothing that encourages saving like watching someone you love, in their 80s and without savings, as they choose between medicine and food... or having to work long past when they could comfortably do so. We help our parents out so it's not that dire for them now. But we never, EVER want to end up that way or to burden our kids with our care, if we can at all help it.

If you need motivation to save, just go to the nearest medicare facility or homeless shelter and see what happens to older Americans with no money.

Fear of having to eat cat food in old age? I would never spend 120 on a hamper. That is crazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with depression era parents.

My parents were very frugal. It made me the opposite. I didn't want to have to worry about every dollar.
My parents were not poor but they never used money for anything fun. We had one family vacation in our entire lives, when I was 4.
I never wanted money to rule me like that. So, I went opposite.

PP here. I definitely struggle with balance. I am lucky in that I am in a better place financially than my parents ever were. So I get to travel and have some nice things. Though often it is hard for me to spend the money to do so. And I am afraid of borrowing money so I won't get a new car. And we all wear inexpensive clothes. I have to keep reminding myself about balance.

My parents were frugal and it rubbed off. We still enjoy nice things (nice house, eat good quality food) but I'll also try to buy things on sale, use coupons, buy in bulk, etc.

Our HHI is $600k+ and the time I spent clipping coupons was worth 10x more than the coupon itself, so I've cut back on that though.