Don't worry too much about it. I think the honest answer is that daycare is not the ideal place for babies who are too young to be social or to move around independently. Depending on the time of year and their immune system, they may get sick A LOT (I think I made it to work about 60% of the time during my first child's first few months of daycare-- it was hell; the second child was more robust and I missed lest work). But by about 6 months, your child will be sitting up on his/her own and a couple months after that, mobile. At that point, daycare can become great. They no longer lie in their cribs crying because there are toys to play with and people to interact with. They are in a completely childproof room where practically anything is fair game to play with-- baby heaven! So think of the long term (which is actually rather short!). Also, if you can find a center near your work, you will find you can actually spend a decent percentage of your child's waking hours with him/her. The average infant probably sleeps about 3 hours of every day, right? Then take into account the two hours or so the baby is getting one on one attention being fed or changed, there are really only a few hours left and if you are able to be there for 30 mins or so, that can make a big difference. I often found I enjoyed my time with my kids in the daycare room more than time at home because there was nothing in the daycare room (eg, housework) to distract me, and we had tons of toys at our disposal! Hang in there. Just accept daycare isn't going to be the perfect place at the beginning, but if your child is safe and you feel like the teachers care about the children, it's good enough for the first few months until your baby is more independent. I now have a 5-year-old who still tells me his best friends are the ones he has known since he was a baby. The day care kids still get together every once in a while and the bond they have is almost like siblings. It is really wonderful to see.

Anonymous wrote:1) What age did you put your child in daycare? My twins started at 12 weeks
2) What time of year was it? Spring
3) How big was the class size? 4:1 infant:teacher ratio
4) How often did your children get sick in the infant class during that first year? Since late May they've gotten 4 colds. I've gotten 3 of those.
5) Do you feel that your child got enough 1-on-1 attention in the class group setting? Yes
6) How difficult was the separation for you as mom, how did you cope? It was hard at first, but got easier as my confidence in the daycare grew. I started them off one week with a few half days and then the next week with a few full days. In the third week I went back to work full time.

1) 3.5 mos
2) Fall but why does this matter?
3) In home with some part timers, so 5-8 kids, 2 adults
4) A few colds, most of which I got, too 1 instance of HFM at about 12 mos.
5) Yes, absolutely
6) It was fine, I eased into it - 3 part-time days, then 3-4 weeks of short days, then full time (but I work 4 days a week), so 4x 8 hour days.

Mine started at 12 weeks part time, 14 weeks full time. It was March-April. At that age, they're young enough that they are very flexible. He's doing great! Now 8 months old, he's been sick once, but has not needed to miss any days. The provider has 8-9 kids of various ages, and two caregivers. I fretted a lot at first that he wasn't getting enough individual attention; and maybe that was true. But there's really no way to get tons of one on one unless you hire a nanny. Each option has its pros and cons.

It is hard as a mom to leave him. The first few weeks especially. Every day, we come home and he nurses and takes a short nap. We reconnect. It is my favorite part of the day.

You'll find your new routines, OP, and you'll both be fine. It will be hard, but you'll be fine. My advice would be to pick the provider you trust, knowing that no option is perfect.

OP, I just want to let you know that when my maternity leave was winding down, I started freaking out about day care, about being away from DD, no one can take care of her like I do, maybe I should find a way to stay home, etc. We did a partial intro week at the day care before I went back to work, just half days at first. I cried hysterically when I dropped her off the first time ... and then I went and ran some errands and the time just flew. I picked her up much later than I planned (not that she knew or cared, at that age). The first few weeks back at work were bittersweet in that I missed her -- but also great in that there was a whole side of me that had not been engaged during maternity leave.

I love DD and love my time with her, but honestly if I won the lotto tomorrow I would still put her in day care at least part of the week. It's good for her and good for me. They challenge her in ways I don't, and give her new experiences, and they are "fresher" and more energetic because they have all the support of the center in the form of meals and cleaning and supplies and coverage for breaks. DD is now a toddler and has so much fun she doesn't want to leave in the afternoons.

What age did you put your child in daycare? 14 weeks. It felt early, but I'm glad we didn't wait till 6+ months and the separation anxiety that starts then.

What time of year was it? (Spring, Fall, Summer, Winter) August.

How big was the class size? From August-October, 12 kids with 3 teachers, and several of the kids were walking. That October we moved to a different facility with a class of 8 kids and 2 teachers, all closer in age, which I preferred.

How often did your children get sick in the infant class during that first year? The whole household got some kind of horrific stomach bug that autumn, and it probably was from day care. During the winter DD had a recurring cold and two ear infections. At one point the sinus issue was bad enough to cause a nursing strike for a couple days. But she has not been ill at all since the weather warmed up, except once this summer she got a weird rash (doctor was stumped) and we kept her home just because the rash would have freaked the day care out.

Do you feel that your child got enough 1-on-1 attention in the class group setting? In general, yes. At our first day care I was happy with the lead teachers but unhappy with the afternoon floater coverage -- it actually was a 1:1 or 1:2 ratio, but the floater was horrible and there was no interaction. As I mentioned, we found a new center. In a classroom with good teachers, the 1:4 ratio has been fine. It also gets better, in that sense, as they get older and can interact more; DD liked day care a lot more once she was mobile.

4 months old- found an amazing home-based with very small service (only 5 little ones). They are like an extended family. Sickness hasn't really had an uptick more than what is considered average for even babies at home, or at least so claims my pediatrician. But I attribute this more to the size of the place, rather than much else. Its common sense- my DH gets little bugs a lot more often than I do because he works in a place with thousands of people milling about. I have an office of 4!

Mine was 7 months old when she went into FT center based daycare in March

No colds or other illnesses until September when she got a cold and an ear infection. The ear infection was bad and took 2 rounds of antibiotics to heal. Other than that she was fine. She might have had a sniffle or two. On the other hand, I was sick as a dog for 2 weeks every month through January. That was hard and a surprise.

I can't remember if the ratio was 1:3 or 1:4, but I never worried about her having enough attention. They usually had someone on diaper duty, someone feeding, someone interacting, and a float. She was happy, clean, and often cried when I took her home.

We changed when she got ready to transition into the toddler room. I wasn't happy with what I was seeing in the toddler room and made a change to a new facility despite our wonderful experience in the infant room. The new place was great and she stayed there until the Friday before she started kindergarten.

Flash forward and she is now in MS and doing great. The first day was hard for me, but she did fine. One thing I did that I *highly* recommend is to have my husband drop off and me pick up. Separation seems much easier for men. I have recommended this course of action to several friends who have reported back that their kids' transitions in the mornings improved dramatically with Dad dropping off. Anecdotal to be sure, but it worked really well for us.

Anonymous wrote:As for the firsts - We saw 99% of them before daycare. We actually saw several at least a week in advance. Don't fret, you won't miss a thing And speaking for myself, by working, I feel like the quality of our time together has increased dramatically. It may not be the quantity of a SAHM, but the quality is through the roof!

+1 This way, there's no bitterness or resentment of your spouse when you're with your child, only joy!!

1) What age did you put your child in daycare? My twins started at 12 weeks
2) What time of year was it? Spring
3) How big was the class size? 4:1 infant:teacher ratio
4) How often did your children get sick in the infant class during that first year? Since late May they've gotten 4 colds. I've gotten 3 of those.
5) Do you feel that your child got enough 1-on-1 attention in the class group setting? Yes
6) How difficult was the separation for you as mom, how did you cope? It was hard at first, but got easier as my confidence in the daycare grew. I started them off one week with a few half days and then the next week with a few full days. In the third week I went back to work full time.

Anonymous wrote:OP - regarding firsts: You'll see them all, trust me. No good daycare provider is going to tell you that your child did anything in their care. And actually DD most of her firsts over the weekend legitimately.

Haha, so true! I'm quite sure my daughter was doing some firsts like crawling at daycare, but they never said anything, and acted *completely surprised and happy* when I came in one Monday telling them she was doing something "new."

As for the firsts - We saw 99% of them before daycare. We actually saw several at least a week in advance. Don't fret, you won't miss a thing And speaking for myself, by working, I feel like the quality of our time together has increased dramatically. It may not be the quantity of a SAHM, but the quality is through the roof!

What age did you put your child in daycare? Part-time around 4 months, full-time at 6 months.
What time of year was it? (Spring, Fall, Summer, Winter) September
How big was the class size? The max class size was 12 babies for 5 full-time teachers and 2 floaters, but since her daycare is part of a school and adhere's to a school schedule when she started in September there were only about 8 kids. It wasn't until November did they get to all 12.
How often did your children get sick in the infant class during that first year? Yikes, so from November through April she had 9 ear infections. She was a little early (born 37+6), and once we had tubes put in she's been great!
Do you feel that your child got enough 1-on-1 attention in the class group setting? Yes. The teachers were fantastic and would trade off one on one with small groups. Plus seeing all the kids were on their own nap schedules early on freed up the teachers.
How difficult was the separation for you as mom, how did you cope? Yes! I was able to take off 6 months, but seeing as daycare started at 4 months we put DD in for a few hours during the day. She wasn't sleeping through the night at that point either, so it was a nice little break for me. Week one I took her once, the following week twice, and just kept adding a day from there. Daddy did drop off the first 3 weeks and I picked up. Once it got a bit easier I started dropping off. By the time I went back to work she was STTN and we were in a good routine.

I won't lie, I still miss DD like crazy most days (she's almost 28 months), but I'm still the one to pick her up which is amazing at this age. We absolutely love our place and couldn't be happier with the teachers, staff, policies, location, buildings, environment, and more! If you don't absolutely love your daycare you'll have more issues with leaving her there.

OP - regarding firsts: You'll see them all, trust me. No good daycare provider is going to tell you that your child did anything in their care. And actually DD most of her firsts over the weekend legitimately.

OP, your post is very strange and I don't understand why you are acting like putting your child in daycare is such a horrible, terrible thing while it's so incredibly common. Just relax, everything will be fine.

My daughter started daycare at a big center (Bright Horizons) in March, at 14 weeks old. We love it. She has got 3 colds so far, but nothing bad enough to keep her home or require a doctors visit. The maximum ratio is 4 to 1, but usually it's more like 6 to 2 in her classroom. She's extremely happy there and they are great about doing things the way parents want them done, even if it's not convenient for them - for example, one of the babies wears cloth diapers and they deal with that. They also take photos or videos of milestones - today at work I got a video of my daughter crawling, which is a relatively new thing for her. No complaints here!

Mine went into daycare at 5 months. It was in January -- so, cold central, but she actually didn't get sick for the first 6-8 weeks, and since then, it's about once every 2 months, I'd say. She's at an in-home, so it 's different, but there were 2 caregivers for 8 kids -- though some were older 2 and 3 year olds, and required less attention, so I felt like mine got plenty of attention.

To play devil's advocate, I know it's hard leaving a tiny baby there, but I've heard from some coworkers who have waited until the 7-8 month range that it's much harder for them to adjust then that at the <6 months time frame. DD adjusted just fine, she never seemed out-of-sorts of afraid from day one. It quickly became apparent that she really liked it there, and daycare was great for me because they really helped get her on a consistent eating and nap time schedule, which I was having a lot of trouble doing.

I agree with a PP that it was hard when we were at the stage where I felt like she came home and went right to bed, and I never saw her. But that period was, indeed, rather short.

Good luck!