Anonymous
Post 07/20/2014 15:05     Subject: Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think the idea of a 'dream school' is overrated. Is it good to have a school that you LOVE? Of course. But if a kid has a list of schools that they can at least see themselves at, then all is well. Kids adapt easily.
+1 No one knows if a school is really a dream school before they go to that school and find out what it's like on a daily basis. It's good to do research and have a good idea which your kid obviously does, OP, but maybe he's lucky he doesn't have a dream school so he won't be disappointed. I think you're worrying a little bit too much.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2014 14:59     Subject: Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
Anonymous wrote:Some good advice here.

Here's my story and I'm sure there are plenty of DCUMers with similar stories. I was one of many kids and the oldest and first to head off to college. My parents were divorced and my dad said I needed to pick someplace in Kansas that was a public school. I literally picked the biggest state U, never visited, was dropped off at the dorm the week before school after spending the summer in a developing country and adapted just fine to my new surroundings once I got over reverse culture shock.

It is my firm belief that there are no perfect anythings - life, college, whatever is what you make of it. Our kids are SO blessed they even get to go to college.

It is more important to encourage our kids to think of what they want/think they want to learn and then go after that, assess and change course as needed.


This is true. We over think everything to the point of not being able to move forward. Not just about colleges, but everything. We want to control the future but sometimes we will end up places we could never have imagined. There are plenty of great schools all over the country. I agree that there are some colleges that could be a lot worse than others. For me, that would have been going to a college that was dominated by drunk frat/sorority types.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2014 13:58     Subject: Re:Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as the perfect college. No, not even Harvard. Sounds like your son has his head screwed on straight: He's identified a school he likes, that's not a reach and therefore won't require him to take the SAT 4x and spend all of senior year stressed out, and you're afraid he's settling because...he isn't as freaked out as everyone is supposed to be about the college process?
Count your lucky stars, OP. You've managed to raise a normal kid in D.C.



Thanks, PP! This does describe my son. I wish he were more excited, but maybe that is his personality
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2014 13:44     Subject: Re:Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
There is no such thing as the perfect college. No, not even Harvard. Sounds like your son has his head screwed on straight: He's identified a school he likes, that's not a reach and therefore won't require him to take the SAT 4x and spend all of senior year stressed out, and you're afraid he's settling because...he isn't as freaked out as everyone is supposed to be about the college process?
Count your lucky stars, OP. You've managed to raise a normal kid in D.C.

Anonymous
Post 07/20/2014 12:08     Subject: Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
Harvard is over-rated for undergrads, but the "brand" is still very powerful in people's minds (esp. those of Harvard students/alums/wannabes).
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2014 11:50     Subject: Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
Anonymous wrote:Unless you are going to Harvard, you are settling. Settling is okay. Even for the overachieving DC crowd.

DD was in a similar situation. She ended up getting waitisted by her number 1 and ended up in a different city, but she is excited about it.

Visiting schools AFTER being accepted is a whole different experience. That's when DD trade her decision.


My son got into Harvard and chose not to go. He went to Stanford instead and has thrived there, beyond anything we could have imagined for him.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2014 11:43     Subject: Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Unless you are going to Harvard, you are settling. Settling is okay. Even for the overachieving DC crowd.

DD was in a similar situation. She ended up getting waitisted by her number 1 and ended up in a different city, but she is excited about it.

Visiting schools AFTER being accepted is a whole different experience. That's when DD trade her decision.


This is a silly statement. My daughter got into Harvard and chose a different school. Contrary to what you seem to believe, Harvard is not everyone's "dream school".


+1. DC refused to even tour Harvard when we were up in Boston, let alone apply to Harvard. DC was accepted at a college that takes 6-7% of applicants (as opposed to Harvard which takes 5-6% of applicants). No "settling."
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2014 07:38     Subject: Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think the idea of a 'dream school' is overrated. Is it good to have a school that you LOVE? Of course. But if a kid has a list of schools that they can at least see themselves at, then all is well. Kids adapt easily.


+1 -- And, BTW, even the school you LOVE and get into early decision can turn out to have a few warts. Kids do adapt easily, though, as PP notes, and come to understand that nothing in life is perfect -- a very good lesson to learn -- worth every penny of our $200,000.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2014 06:30     Subject: Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
Anonymous wrote:We have spent the last year researching and visiting colleges. DS is a strong student (stats below Ivies but probably competitive for other "top 20" schools). He wants to go to college but confided after a recent visit that he has not walked onto any campus and thought "this is the one." Although we have asked him to be cognizant of cost, we have put no limits on his search and have said we will do our best to help him go to the school that is best for him. But he has a longer list of things he doesn't want (in terms of location, size, culture, facilities) than does want, and that list has ruled out even looking at many of the schools for which he is qualified. His current top choice is one that fits him really well and is not a reach, and there are a couple others he liked reasonably well, but I feel like he is "settling" without being excited about anything. I am not sure whether to encourage more visits or just let him go with the current quite short list. Did anybody else's DC never have a "dream" school, or a school (s)he was in love with, and if so, did college turn out to be a great experience anyway?


DS might consider starting at a community college and transferring into the "dream school" once his views mature. This may be a better way to keep options open as opposed to being unhappy and building a poor transcript at the wrong school.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2014 06:24     Subject: Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
Not sure how you'd measure it, but my sense is that the very top AMERICAN students tend to prefer Stanford and Princeton over Harvard, but foreign students prefer Harvard. All are terrific choices, of course.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2014 01:33     Subject: Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Unless you are going to Harvard, you are settling. Settling is okay. Even for the overachieving DC crowd.

DD was in a similar situation. She ended up getting waitisted by her number 1 and ended up in a different city, but she is excited about it.

Visiting schools AFTER being accepted is a whole different experience. That's when DD trade her decision.


This is a silly statement. My daughter got into Harvard and chose a different school. Contrary to what you seem to believe, Harvard is not everyone's "dream school".


I agree; people have different ideas of "dream schools". They are not one-size-fits-all and one person's dream school might not interest another person in the least.


Yep. So many kids have to settle for Stanford, MIT, and Columbia. Poor kids
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2014 01:07     Subject: Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
Well, guess my DC must be another "exception" according to 19:14 above. DC's first choice was Yale. The truth is many kids are aware of the undergraduate reputational differences among schools, and just don't apply to Harvard. Yes, of those that do apply to multiple ivies it wins the most cross-admits, but that and yield really prove nothing about it being most kids "dream school."
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2014 22:48     Subject: Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Unless you are going to Harvard, you are settling. Settling is okay. Even for the overachieving DC crowd.

DD was in a similar situation. She ended up getting waitisted by her number 1 and ended up in a different city, but she is excited about it.

Visiting schools AFTER being accepted is a whole different experience. That's when DD trade her decision.


This is a silly statement. My daughter got into Harvard and chose a different school. Contrary to what you seem to believe, Harvard is not everyone's "dream school".


Your daughter is an unusual case. Harvard's yield is over 80%. So it is the first choice of almost everybody who applies.. DD has a friend who settled for Princeton after not getting into Harvard.


Are you the same poster who says that any school other than Harvard is "settling"? What a narrow and frankly, false, viewpoint. It may be the first choice of "almost everyone who applies," but that doesn't make it the first choice for the thousands of other students who don't apply. And for the small percentage of Ivy-eligible students, Harvard may not be the top contender. Every Ivy has a different feel or personality, and Harvard just might not be someone's cup of tea when compared to Princeton, Yale, Columbia, etc. Funny that you don't seem to understand this very simple concept.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2014 19:14     Subject: Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Unless you are going to Harvard, you are settling. Settling is okay. Even for the overachieving DC crowd.

DD was in a similar situation. She ended up getting waitisted by her number 1 and ended up in a different city, but she is excited about it.

Visiting schools AFTER being accepted is a whole different experience. That's when DD trade her decision.


This is a silly statement. My daughter got into Harvard and chose a different school. Contrary to what you seem to believe, Harvard is not everyone's "dream school".


Your daughter is an unusual case. Harvard's yield is over 80%. So it is the first choice of almost everybody who applies.. DD has a friend who settled for Princeton after not getting into Harvard.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2014 15:03     Subject: Did your DC never find the "perfect" college?
Anonymous wrote:Unless you are going to Harvard, you are settling. Settling is okay. Even for the overachieving DC crowd.


Uh, no. Harvard is a prestigious name, not necessarily the best place for undergraduates.