Am I the only one positively amazed that this is even a concern? Are you scared your daughter is going to drown in a SHOWER? Is this really a problem worth taking the time to post about? Stunned.

If they are showering at the end of the day after swimming, can't they skip the am shower? I would focus on that as opposed to the length.

Well before you insist on timing your daughter, make sure you time yourself and DH and your other daughter on showers. It's not fair to her if the others are taking 12-15 minute showers and she gets 7.

OK so it seems 7 minutes most people believe is too short. We'll let her try in increments up to 10-12 minutes and let her see how much time it takes to really shower. Both girls are basically taking 2 showers every day in the summer. The first one in the morning to go to school or camp and the 2nd one in the afternoons when they get out of the swimming pool. If they don't play outside the rest of the day they have the choice to not bathe the next morning but both seem to want to. During the winter I don't even want them to shower ever day but again this is their choice. They are developing young ladies and I think they should be very careful about hygiene and I suspect they will want to shower every day even during the winter. They are just now starting to use deodorant-although not regularly. it isn't a habit yet.


Since this girl is a bit pokey in the morning we are thinking a shorter shower time may mean she is less rushed getting out the door to school. During the school year they are up and out of bed between 6:15 and 6:30, one eats while the other one showers and then vice versa. But in the summer time they don't have to use the hair dryer and we will have to figure in that time too once school starts in a few weeks. You'd think an hour in the mornings would be enough to shower, dry hair, get dressed, eat breakfast, make school lunch, pick up things for school which are organized the night before but sometimes she is still pokey. But she has some "special needs" so we give her extra time. If she gets up at the same time she is used to but has 15 or 20 minutes more every morning since she will be in middle school and it starts later than elementary school maybe we can be a bit more lax about shower time. The issue isn't so much how long she is in the shower as it is if there will be enough hot water for the rest of the family. I am thinking my husband - who is really the one proposing such short shower time- hasn't really tested how quickly the hot water recovers between showers. He spent his youth in Oklahoma where drought is part of every day life so maybe he is still in that "we're gonna run out of water" mindset.

Anonymous wrote:Still creepy that you watch your 12 year old shower from your bed. Give her some privacy. It sounds like the twins have another shower available to them, tell her she can shower in another bathroom for as long as she wants and the rest of you use the master bathroom. Seems very weird that you are so involved in her bathing habits.

This

Good grief. So, it's ok in this country to waste natural resources? It's time people started appreciating what so many parts of the world( and some parts of the USA) consider a complete luxury.

OP has every right to insist her daughter take a shower, and get out. How long it takes her to wash herself is the issue, and I question if 7 minutes is really long enough, so, as I said, 10-15 sounds about right. A 12 yr old does not need to play in the shower. And, OP doesn't need to upgrade her plumbing so she can.

Still creepy that you watch your 12 year old shower from your bed. Give her some privacy. It sounds like the twins have another shower available to them, tell her she can shower in another bathroom for as long as she wants and the rest of you use the master bathroom. Seems very weird that you are so involved in her bathing habits.

Anonymous wrote:Oh how easy it is to jump to conclusions. if we did not regulate her she would take 20 minute showers. there are 4 of us who need to shower and get on our way every morning. if each one took 20-30 minute showers the 4th person would be SOL and very unhappy.

The girls (twins) use the shower in our master bedroom. The shower is entirely glass and can easily be seen from the bed where I am usually reading the "paper" on my Nexxus every morning. When we noticed she was hogging all the hot water I decided to watch from my bed (bifold doors between bathroom and bedroom are rarely closed and toilet area is a completely separate area with door) to see what on earth is taking her so long. That is when I noticed her just standing there in a daze in another world and not really showering.

I think a shower is for getting clean in the morning while a bath in the evening is for relaxing. She has that option but she prefers the morning shower.

We are getting ready for some changes which will be necessary when school starts. last year we weren't as concerned about time because her sister had to be at school half an hour later but this year they will both be walking out he door at the same time which is 7: 45.

Wow, that is late to leave for school. My kids are at the bus stop at 6:25am. In MS it was 6:45. As a result, they take their showers at night.

Oh how easy it is to jump to conclusions. if we did not regulate her she would take 20 minute showers. there are 4 of us who need to shower and get on our way every morning. if each one took 20-30 minute showers the 4th person would be SOL and very unhappy.

The girls (twins) use the shower in our master bedroom. The shower is entirely glass and can easily be seen from the bed where I am usually reading the "paper" on my Nexxus every morning. When we noticed she was hogging all the hot water I decided to watch from my bed (bifold doors between bathroom and bedroom are rarely closed and toilet area is a completely separate area with door) to see what on earth is taking her so long. That is when I noticed her just standing there in a daze in another world and not really showering.

I think a shower is for getting clean in the morning while a bath in the evening is for relaxing. She has that option but she prefers the morning shower.

We are getting ready for some changes which will be necessary when school starts. last year we weren't as concerned about time because her sister had to be at school half an hour later but this year they will both be walking out he door at the same time which is 7: 45.

Curious...Why are you watching her shower? Or timing her?

Disclaimer: In no way am I suggesting something strange is occurring AT ALL...Not AT ALL I am only curious as why a parent is the bathroom watching? I am the mother of 4 children (almost all grown now) I know at 12 I wasn't in the bathroom with them.

I will tell my kids to hurry up if others want to use the shower or if we have to go somewhere. Other than that I don't care.

Maybe I should, it is not good for the environment to waste water.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20 minute showers is a lot of water! i'd bang on the door at 7 minutes and tell her to finish up so that she could be done by 10

You are a cheap ass then. How much could it cost! Cents?

2.5 gallons per minute for a shower head times 20 minutes is 50 gallons of water. That is a lot of water. The cost of the water bill is not the point.

OP, one thing you could do is replace your water heater with a smaller water heater, like a 30-gallon size. Then you would have to set a time limit or use timers or bang on pipes or anything, because it's not pleasant to dance with fairies in a cold shower. Or so I assume. I've never actually tried it.

I guess we are the only family who all shower at night. No more than 10 minutes per shower for the kids. Otherwise, it is a waste of hot water.

This is a very strange post... peeping tom on 12 yo daughter, time limits and timers.

It sounds like its the only time she can get peace and freedom from her overbearing parents.

Let her continue to dance with fairies or whatever.

Anonymous wrote:20 minute showers is a lot of water! i'd bang on the door at 7 minutes and tell her to finish up so that she could be done by 10

You are a cheap ass then. How much could it cost! Cents?