Anonymous wrote:What do I do? I enjoy long conversations with my ILs, learning more about my husband's roots. We play card and board games. I am happy to see the joy that my children bring them and to see them interact. They have flaws, but they aren't things I need to bother myself with or get all worked up over. Mostly, I'm thankful that we are all able to get away together at the beach and know it won't always be an option as they age. This year will be particularly special since my FIL just got diagnosed with cancer.

I have some relatives who are horrible people -- racists, crazy, etc. I don't vacation with them and don't understand why in the world someone would if their relatives are so horrible. You sound really spoiled and ungrateful to complain about a vacation on the ocean, for goodness sake. Get some perspective about real problems in the world.

Not really. Some people try, and trying makes it worse, it makes nasty and bitter people act more well, nasty and bitter. Be grateful if you have not experienced this. Do you know what it is to be so grateful?

Do you know what it is to have a great, fun family, yourself? You told us yourself that you do not know this great feeling, yet you try to deflect on me, OP. Thanks for your oh-so-kind words, shallow assumptions and pretension - as if you know anything about me. You must be a peach to vacation with! And you are assuming that anything (at all) brings such people joy? That is a rather tall reach, especially without you asking anything about the rather depressed, self centered IL's. But I digress. How would it make you feel if your DH refused to be around positive people; and insisted our only vacation, since we have so little vacation time, is with people who really don't care if he is around or not? Kind of like your own family. The BIL's in DH's family resort to drinking all day, which I don't do. If I could, I wouldn't, because I have to tend to the children, because no one else talks to them, sadly.

Yes, we all have our own intricate and detailed issues not seen on these threads, so it would be impossible to draw any conclusions, other than *perhaps* from the direct issue at hand. Can you possibly bring yourself to focus on the issue at hand? Or is it all about you?

One of my many, many gratitudes today, is being grateful I don't have to spend any time with you, PP. Yet, you sound so much like my MIL - peculiar, no? Interesting, she looks for fights, also - much like you. I am merely looking to cope with people like you and her. Thanks for the inadvertent warning.

Sadly its my side of the family that we beach vacation with. We basically pretend we are there alone most of the time, because we have to do all the cooking and cleaning anyway. We plan the day around our kids, and if they want to join us, they can. Sometimes they take my older one with them when they do things, but they don't have that much interest in my younger child because he can't keep up (he can't ride a bike yet for example). So we just plan things for us and let them do what they want. It mostly works until one member starts causing drama.

What do I do? I enjoy long conversations with my ILs, learning more about my husband's roots. We play card and board games. I am happy to see the joy that my children bring them and to see them interact. They have flaws, but they aren't things I need to bother myself with or get all worked up over. Mostly, I'm thankful that we are all able to get away together at the beach and know it won't always be an option as they age. This year will be particularly special since my FIL just got diagnosed with cancer.

I have some relatives who are horrible people -- racists, crazy, etc. I don't vacation with them and don't understand why in the world someone would if their relatives are so horrible. You sound really spoiled and ungrateful to complain about a vacation on the ocean, for goodness sake. Get some perspective about real problems in the world.

Thankfully DH enjoys spending time with his parents as much as I, so we don't normally vacation with them. If it does happen, we now ensure we are in separate rooms/houses, and have a ton of activities planned. His parents are incredibly selfish, don't know how to be grandparents (DH had to ask his father to put his gun and ammo in the attic and not in a duffel bag on the floor of their closet when we visited over the weekend), and when we get together want to see DH much more than DD.

PP, you wash towels and sheets DAILY???? That's a bit much.

As much as I'd love a beach vacation, I would decline an invite from my ILs. Not worth being their personal punching bag and servant.

Anonymous wrote:You poor little babe. You were entitled to so much MORE. Next opportunity, purse your lips together and absolutely REFUSE to even taste your applesauce - that'll show those rude a-holes.

Ahhh...the ILs are chiming in. It was only a matter of time. Next time, try not to make it so very obvious.

What if the ILs only want bragging rights about who attended and who did not? Yes, they are keeping score.

Also, who thought of this idea of cramming more than one generation into a musty house, in the south, at the height of summer? "But its big, and it has an elevator...." BFD.

Anonymous wrote:OP one of my friends has terrible in laws who drive her crazy. We (her friends) take turns calling her with emergencies. Her Mil thinks we are all high maintenance so sometimes we fake being her boss and having work emergencies.

OP here. I have some really funny friends. If they don't make my cry from laughing, I will have to try this one Thanks for any encouragement.